Can You Hear Me?

Chapter Twelve:

No one seems to notice me when I walk in the building and to be honest it doesn't bug one bit. I walk to my locker and put my books away then head to my first period which is English. That's when I feel someone grab my arm and spin me around to face them. "Hey Ash where have you been" says Rebecca with her devilish smile. "What do you want Rebecca" I say with a shaky voice.  "Oh nothing just to have a little fun that's all" she says. My heart is racing as she walks closer to me, soon my back is pressed against the locker and Rebecca is in my face. "Don't you know we missed our favorite punching bag" she says with a sneer and her friends all laugh. "You know I bet your brother got killed on purpose. He just wanted to get away from you." There is venom in her words and they have made their way to my heart. "Truth is he was embarrassed to have you as a sister. He just didn't want to be seen with you." Tears start to well in my eye but there is nowhere for me to run, they have me surrounded. "You know I Know that your little boyfriend Ethan is just messing with you. It's all one big joke and I have to say it's really funny. Ash you are so worthless and pathetic I can't believe you are even still here and by here I mean Earth." She smiles her devil smile and I just push past her and run to my car.

Its clear know, what I have to do to take the pain away. I speed home as the tears stream down my face. Once I'm home I sprint to the door and quickly dash inside. I sprint up the stairs nearly tripping and falling back down them and running into the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and see my tear soaked cheeks. I see the exhaustion in my eyes and the pain that peeks through them.

My heart is racing and my body is shaking so badly I can barely stand. I can't take this anymore I can't deal with the pain. It hurts way too much and I can't take it. I just want to be with my brother and my dad. I'm sick of hurting, I'm sick of the tears, I'm just done. I take out my blade and press it against my skin. I could feel the warmth of my blood spill on to my cold skin.

I kept going making several cuts on both of my arms then just laid there. I could see black spots coming into my vision. Both arms are numb and it feels like the pain is gone. My mind suddenly goes to Ethan and Grayson. They will be better without me; their lives will go back to normal it will be like I never even existed. That's the way their lives should be, I don't want them to feel what I felt. I look around and see the pool of my blood around me.

"It's okay" I tell myself "Everything is going to be okay now." No more pain, No more suffering, no more anything. I'm actually okay with that because everyone's life will be better off without me in it. The boys will go on and will go back to normal and my mother will have her wish. More darkness starts to appear in my vision, "It's okay Ash let go" I tell myself. I lay my head back and let the tears roll to the sides. "I'm so sorry Ethan...I love you" and with that everything goes black.