Can You Hear Me?

Chapter Twenty Three:

      The ride back home feels like an eternity and there is no sound except for the soft songs being played on the radio. I don't bother looking at him because I know as soon as I do I'm going to see all the pain he feels. It kills me to see him this way but he really hurt me. I really don't know what to do at this point. My heart is torn at the moment, it's making me question if I should stay or if I should go. Maybe I should just sleep on it and decide later.  Ethan had my heart no matter if I want him to or not.

       Once we return home I get out of the car and silently walk into the house leaving Ethan behind. I walk upstairs and grab a spare blanket and my pajamas then walk back down stairs.  Ethan stands in the door way, his eyes are no longer red and puffy. Instead when I look in them I see nothing but emptiness. He doesn't say a word but watched me set the blanket down. "I um...I'm going to sleep down here tonight" I say with a shaky voice.  "Oh um okay then" Ethan said as he held back his tears. Just hearing his voice that way crushed me but I had to stay strong. He looked down at his feet and slowly made his way upstairs, as he walked away I could feel my eyes heat up and the tears start to cloud my vision. I waited till I heard the bedroom door close and let my tears fall to the earth like rain.

       Around 1:30am is when I heard them, his screams filled my ears like thunder when it wakes the sky and earth. I sprinted upstairs not bothering to breath or anything. My heart beat was racing so fast I thought it could out run a cheetah. As soon as I burst through the door my eyes fell upon him. There lay Ethan curled up in a ball still asleep screaming my name. I jog over and get on the empty side of the bed. "Ethan" I yell as I shake him "Ethan wake up! It's just a nightmare!" I watch as his eyes shoot open, fear evident in them.

     His breathing is fast and shallow while his heart beat was rapid and not steady at all. Ethan's eyes are wide when they land on me. Without a word he sits up and buried his head into my stomach and starts to sob. "Shh it's ok baby it was just a nightmare" I say calmly as I cradle him. "Everything is going to be okay Ethan." Just then Grayson appears in the door way, concern in his eye for his brother. It's the first time I have seen the old Grayson in a long time. "Don't worry Gray I got him you go back to bed and try to get some sleep,I'll stay up with him." "Are you sure Ash?" I nod my head and turn my attention back to Ethan. I hate seeing him this way, it hurts me so much.

     "It was about you, you know" says Ethan as he starts to calm down. "The nightmare was about you." "Oh" I say as I look down at him. He was already looking up at me, his eyes were red and puffy they resembled glass. He was so fragile in this state and it made my heart break. I just wanted to be with him and make him feel better again.

   "You left me and no matter what I did you just kept walking away. I thought I lost you and that I could never get you back." Hearing that made tears come to my eyes but I wiped them away before they could fall. He wrapped his arms around me and snuggled his head in to my stomach some more. Ethan held me close and tight as I did him. "I'm so sorry Ash for what I said. I didn't mean it please forgive me. I was stupid for saying that and for hurting you. Please baby I'm begging you please forgive me. I'm so sorry." At this point my shirt was soaked with his tears but I could careless, "Ethan it's...okay I forgive you."

    "Please stay" he begs "please stay here with me and don't go anywhere. Please come back to bed with me baby. Just stay and I'll make it up to you just please...stay." "Okay" I say as my voice cracks, he lets go of me and places his forehead on mine.

     After a couple of seconds like that we separate and I lay down next to him. I snuggle into his chest and listen to his now steady heartbeat. I run my hand over his torso and look up at him. His eyes are now full of hope, I smile at the sight of them. Very carefully he grabs my chin and pulls my lips to meet his. It felt like I was kidding him for the first time again. It felt so good to kiss him again. Once we separate I cuddle back into his chest and started to get envelopes in the darkness.