"Letters she never sent"

Camila to Lauren - IKWYDLS

My long awaited duet was released in November of 2015. The thing I had genuinely worked so hard for, and my first attempt as a 'solo' artist was finally out. The reaction I got from the girls was somewhat expected. Dinah was really the only one who asked about it but no-one else did. Not even you. Normani had been off with me for months now and Ally stopped caring about it when she found out I had planned this "spontaneous" duet over a year ago.

It had got me so much more recognition and fame as I was promised. Shawn and I were all over the place with interviews, shows and appearances. It was all a blur but it was exactly what I wanted. I realised being in a group was something that helped me kick start a music career, but a solo career is something that I had always wanted and was finally on the right steps to achieving.

One thing about this song that was so special to me was that certain lyrics that I wrote with only you in mind. You were in mind as I wrote it and a lot of it had to do with what you never let me tell you about me messing with another guy in London last year. I had explained that the song was about a love that was dying. Our love that was dying Lauren. Right in front of us, day by day. There was just a thin thread of what remained and I was certain that soon, you would cut that too.

I still mentioned you in my song because I loved you. As much as you stopped believing that. I related to Shawn's perspective more than my own, as he sang 'to a girl' and obviously I could relate to that more. Writing was the only way I could really express myself and that's why this duet was so important to me.

"When she looks me in the eyes, they don't seem as bright no more, no more, no more"

Lauren, how much clearer could I make it that this lyric was about you. Your emerald eyes didn't shine how they used to when you would look at me. They weren't bright anymore, they were filled with sadness and heartbreak because of me. My planet green eyes, it was all about you.

"It's tearing me apart; she's slipping away"

Laur, I was losing you right in front of my eyes. As much as I seemed like the bad one in this equation, I loved you. I loved you with everything I had. I know I broke your heart and I know I let you down but I still loved you. I would always love you, I always had a place for you in my heart. You were home Lauren; I'd always want to come back to you.

"Can't seem to let you go, can't seem to hold you close"

I meant everything when I wrote that. I couldn't let you go. Our relationship was so toxic, it was so bad for us both, it ate us away and broke us completely. It was something that we should have let go of a long time ago but we couldn't. You practically hated me at this point but we still couldn't completely let each other go. I'd never be able to let you go. And when I said I'd come back to fix this mess, I meant it Lauren.

The duet was one of the best things that I had been able to achieve in my career. I've always wanted this and it was something that took a lot of planning and preparation. The thing is though, I was so glad it was out and over so I could finally start working things out with you. This is what I meant when I said that I would finish this deal with management and come back to fix things with you.

We were also signing contracts with a new management who weren't as pathetic as the one before. I had so many good feelings for the year ahead now this was all over. The duet was something I wanted to leave in 2015. Our album was going to come out in 2016 and I was planning on making every effort to sort things out with the other girls as well. I wanted to start fresh.

Our group will reunite again, and as for us Lauren? We will rise again, just as I promised you. My duet was over and I was ready to make things work with you. I was ready to start again...

Only to find that I was too late. You had already moved on.