I had taken Emy home after our little swim session. She was mulling over something, when she looks down at her feet with a slight frown I know it’s serious.
I was sitting at the edge of the cliff that hung over the town. It was my midnight run, but I needed to think. JP was covering for me; he was in the forest watching the territory lines. I had to rethink the messed up situation that I was in with Emy, Sean, and Amane. We were stuck together because I was too afraid to get kicked out of the pack.
I found my mate for Christ’s sake! Why am I afraid of that?
Ok, potentially I’m not afraid of being with Emy for the rest of my life. But just…losing my family over it. I know in time Emy will never me, but I also want my family to accept the love of my life. It’s not like I could do anything about it, I didn’t have a choice.
“Run is over. Let’s go home.” I felt JP sit down next to me. He sighed and leaned against me. I looked down at the small sleepy town.
“I used to bring her all the time. We’d sit here and laugh and talk. Only once did I see her cry up here.” I stayed quiet while he spoke. His mate Sophia had died in a rogue attack 3 months ago. “When I asked her what happened, she said she wasn’t sure, but that it felt like her last night with me. The next day-” a tear escaped his eye. He quickly wiped it away.
Once she went missing, he told me he promised her he wouldn’t grieve over her until they brought her body back. They never found her.
I quickly wrapped my arms around him, pulling him tightly to me. He buried his head into my neck, no tears came out, but sobs racked his body. We sat there for a little bit, I let him mumble nonsense into my neck. He’d squeeze me every now and then to the point where I’d gasp from his strength.
“Let’s go brother, let’s go home.” I pulled away slightly and smiled. He looked like he had aged centuries in the past few months.
He nodded, “Let’s go eat.” He stood and pulled me up with him.
I hugged him and kissed his cheek. He held out his arm for me to take. I chuckled lightly, he was always the gentleman.
“Why thank you sir.” We walked all the way home. The silence was comfortable, I still needed to think.
-Later-
“So Siri,” my father walked into the living room, I was lying on the couch watching TV, “What’s the matter? You’re never home around this time.”
It was the truth, usually I was out with Emy but I awkwardly told her my dad wanted me home. Of course she didn’t believe me, who would if I kept stuttering and changing my reasons. But she left me alone for a bit. That’s what I was really looking for.
“I just thought I’d stay in for once. See how my home feels at night.” I snuggled into the cushions more, smelling my mum and brothers. Very little of me though.
“Stay in. Tell your papa all about it.” He lifted up my blanket and covered himself up too. I looked at him then at the screen. I heard my mum moving around in the kitchen. “Lisa, come here for a second.” He turned down the TV and waited for my mum to come in.
“What is it?” she came in with a dish towel and a scowl. We interrupted her cleaning, something she hated.
“Your daughter has something to say.” He looked pointedly at her. She frowned at the ground then recognition changed her face.
I stared at them; they were having a conversation with their eyes. Something Emy and I do a lot. I waited until they looked at me. I didn’t want to lie to them anymore. I couldn’t, I didn’t have it in me anymore. Being in the closet is the worse feeling ever. I felt sick every time I came into my own home. My own home! I couldn’t be me here, the one place I shouldn’t have to hide. Yet I was camouflaging my every move. Every breath was a struggle here.
“I um I found my mate…” oh my god I said it. No going back. Sweat slicked my palms, my bottom lip started twitching, and my breath was in short bursts. The anxiety of coming out!
“Yes, Sean. We know, we paired you together.” My mum was confused on this. My father on the other hand stared at me. His stare become extremely heavy on me. All I ever wanted was to make him happy. I think I ruined all of that.
“No not Sean. He’s a great male but not for me. He was never meant for me, and yes that hurts. But I found somebody else mother, somebody incredible. The love we share is something that words can’t even fathom. Please be happy for me, I am actually happy.” While speaking I moved to the edge of the couch. My mother ended up in the small rocking chair, and my father was standing near her.
Tears of relief were pooling on my eyes. I finally said it. I was free of that heavy burden.
“Who is he?” that was my mother.
“She is Emy. The right family, wrong person…” I slightly laughed. My mother sighed, but my father started laughing. His deep laugh resonated from his broad chest. He bent over and kissed my mother on the cheek.
“Let her love whoever she wants. They just have to pass us, mama.” My mother frowned up at him. She stood and smacked his chest while he was laughing.
“What about my grandchildren?” it was my turn to laugh.
Everybody was so fixated that two women can’t have children together. Hello! Sperm donors? Guys make bank to wank. Gross I can’t believe I said that…
“You have your sons too, we can’t just depend on our only daughter to provide us with baby pups.” He shook his head and walked over to me. “We still love you, Siri. Nothing has changed.” He gave me a hug and a kiss on the head.
I relaxed a lot. Happy to actually have my parents accept me.
