One Page Stories.

Say Goodbye.~

As i sat in the chair waiting for the nurse to come back with my choices of emotions, i watched the mirror that was in front of me. My head was swirling with ideas about what i should choose to feel. Last month i had chose heartbreak and sadness since the woman that i had "loved" had broken up with me and i never felt anything. I never liked choosing the bad ones, but when i did they gave me some sort of rush or an insight to what this world really has to offer. I watched my reflection, my dull grey eyes and my smooth black hair that fell over my eyes in waves. I thought about how my job was going and how i would be stuck in a desk for the rest of my life if i didn't get on with it. If only i could choose more than just two. How i wish i could choose more than two. I would pick every single potion or vial that they had here in this damn hospital and i would swallow them all down in one slug. They were all different in their own special way and the second that they stuck that needle into your arm, you get a rush. A rush of emotions or a rush of anxiety from knowing what the failure to these could be. No one ever said what its like to watch someone not get any emotions put into themselves but i have heard from books that its something like a mass of nothingness. A rush of being able to just not feel anything or know what feeling is like. To be able to not care or not be worried about something, to just be there to watch what everyone else does. Like you took yourself out of the game. There were homeless people that couldn't afford the medications which was something that was sad to see since they freeze in the winter, overheat and burn in the summer, get shell shocked every damn day from what people do to them and the can't feel it. I watched the door as the nurse walked in and took out five bottles that were put onto the silver tray and a syringe out. Each bottle was a different color. Red for love, gold for happiness, green for anger, purple for anxiety and black for sadness. The nurse gestured her hand out at the bottles and i pointed at the red then the black, the nurse made a strange face and shook her head before gesturing again asking if i was sure. I again, pointed at the red and the black. She shook her head then injected my arm with the red and the gold. I tried to fight it as i struggled to let the medicine into my bloodstream but it was too late. The nurse reached into her pocket and pulled out a red lolly-pop holding it out to me and smiling kindly. I couldn't help but smile back as i took it, unwrapped it and stuck it into my mouth. As i started to walk out of the room i pretended to cough and start wobbling around trying to play off the 'i'm sick and need literal medical assistance right now' kind of act but i really grabbed the little black bottle and the needle off of the table shoving them both into my pocket. As i walked out, i said thank you to the nurse and walked through the hall going straight for the door like nothing had happened. I walked straight out and began to walk to my car, a normal small red car that had tinted windows and dark leather seats. There was a new car smell to it since i almost never left my house other than for work and seeing the very few friends that i had. I sat inside of my car and took the two items out of my pocket. In two smooth movements, i stuck the needle into the bottle then the needle into my arm letting all three of the emotions mix together. I felt like everything was great yet at the same time i felt like my head was about to explode. I grabbed onto it and screamed. I was shaking and as i opened my door and dropped out of the car, i saw the nurse in the doorway laughing. Her eyes were cold and as i watched another car go pass my field of vision, i saw the nurse for what she really was. Her hair was stringy and greasy, her skin had holes and was bleeding, there were large wrinkles and horrible gashes and cuts all over her. Her mouth was the worst, with many sharp and dangerous fang like teeth. What the hell did i just do to myself? Was this the medicine? Was it something i did wrong? Am i even alive?