Just Another Diary

From an angel to a demon

I promised myself I wouldn't let a single tear shed my eyes for you again yet here I am with stained cheeks and an open wound.

My heart is breaking apart and I'm drowning, its getting harder and harder to breathe and I'm sinking into the ocean of anguish you pushed me in. I want you to help me, to save me like you used to but this time you won't come, this makes me want to gasp out for air, air that isn't tainted with your stench yet every time I open my mouth, I feel my lungs getting stabbed with shards of pain as I drown deeper and deeper into the abyss of torment.

I put on a brave face and I try to swim, I tell you I don't need you but inside I am shattered, every inch of my body is being pierced with excruciating agony.

All I want is to make you feel how I do, the very torture I'm feeling, but I can't. I don't have the strength to push you but I hope someone else will someday.

How my heart still manages to love a monster so irrevocably is a mystery to me, you're callous, you're brutal, you're everything I'm not. I can't remember when you changed from an angel to a demon but you did, I miss the angel within you, I don't love you, the beast you have become, my heart weeps for the gem within you that died.