Some losses are irreplaceable. No matter how hard we try to fill that gaping hole left behind, some holes just can not be filled. I like to think of my life as a canvas, and the people I hold dear to my heart have their own defined hues painted carefully by the strokes of the affection I have for them. Sometimes, these colors are ripped right off from the canvas, leaving behind a jagged chasm, each hole is unique and sometimes no matter what try to fit in that gap, the crooked ends always remain, a painful reminder of what is gone and will never return.
Losing someone without even having anticipated it tends to take a toll on your sanity. You'll be sitting perfectly fine and suddenly a tug at your heartstrings will make you find yourself missing that iridescent tint on your canvas. A sinking feeling starts to suffocate you, a knot in your throat makes it hard for you to breathe, the wound in your heart from the freshly ripped piece starts to bleed again, your eyes start to well up and before you know it, you are mourning.
That's how you end up in the warzone again, you are at war with your own thoughts. A part of you is longing for the gem that you lost, the wistful yearning to just relive the amazing memories painted on your canvas keeps striking you repeatedly, causing agony every time. However the other part within you wants you to open your eyes, accept the reality, and move on.
And so it's an endless battle of you against yourself, exhausting you completely till one day you become strong enough to accept your loss, numb the pain and let go.
YOU ARE READING
Just Another Diary
Non-FictionThis isn't a story. It's a collection of thoughts, thoughts I'm sure all teens go through.
