A Racer's Heart

16: Life Sucks

Mattie's P.O.V.

"H-honey," My mom begins. Her face seems more concerned but that still doesn't make it easier to face her. "I'm not here to scrutinize you or tell you lies to make you feel better: life sucks. But the point of life is to be happy in the end." By the end of her talking i'm gaping at my mom, i thought she was going to yell at me. "But sweetheart, you know you can tell me everything. I will never judge you or be angry. I don't care that you like girls, but you must understand we need to talk about our lives more, in order to prevent such problems." My mom gives me a a kiss on the forehead and stands awkwardly, waiting to be introduced to Sasha. I tried to speak but the words weren't coming out so i laid there in silence.

"Hi." Sasha said extending her hand. "I'm Sasha, Mattie's, uh, friend."

"Nice to meet you. I am Mattie's mother."

"I think she's stuck in a shocked like trance." Sasha say's pointing to me. "She might be there for a while."

My mom laughs a little to this and a tear escapes her face. "I just wish she would've talked to me first."

Sasha gets stiff and I can tell she's beating herself up about it at how quiet she gets.

"Actually, mom," I speak up, looking at Sasha. "I've had trouble at my last school that caused my depression, which led to this. I couldn't talk to you because I couldn't tell you I was gay, which was the stem of my issues but I can't change that."

I sighed. "Mom, I'm glad you accept me, but please don't push me to explain myself."

My mother nodded and I waved as she left for work.

"I like your girlfriend, good choice," she whispers as she leaves. I look at Sasha and begin to laugh before realizing it hurts.

"So what do you think of my mom?" I say, hoping she didn't get all emotional about the fact that I don't blame her.

"She's great." She says looking at the door. "Tell me about her."

I question why she's looking at the door but answer.

"She's a divorced bisexual who married and mated with a vulgar man. I was the offspring of course. She's been raising me on her own since he left when he found out she was prego." I paused for dramatic effect before continuing. "And yeah. I dunno what else you wanna know."

"What's the best memory you've ever had with her?" She said her eyes shifting away from the door.

I shrug before thinking.

"I guess... when she kisses me on the forehead each morning. Tell me about your mom."

A tear escapes her face but she wipes it away quickly and looks up to me to see if I'm going to say anything about it. I don't. "I-i don't want to talk about me an my um mom let's talk about what we're going to do tomorrow when you get out of the hospital."

I smile at her gently and then realize what she said.

"Tomorrow?" I get excited before realizing my bet earlier and blushing profusely. "Um, do you think we can hold off on the, uh, math equations until my neck doesn't hurt?"

"Maybe." She said smirking. I think the sadness went away for now. I'll ask her about it later.

I fiddle with my tubes again before asking Sasha something. "Uhm, d-do you think you could stay here with me tonight? I-It's not a big deal, I just don't like hospitals..."

She smiled before going under the covers. "Who said i was leaving in the first place? I just got you back."

I sighed in happiness and cuddled in her warmth, eventually drifting away into the sweet embrace of sleep.