A Racer's Heart

24: Who Knows?

Mattie's P.O.V.:

She just left.
God DAMMIT, Mattie. You useless, helpless, loveless-
I get it, damn...
I feel nothing as I pick up my bag and grab my suitcase. I stuff whatever clothes I have that fit and a few books in the case along with my laptop, cord, some shoes, and all the money I can find: almost six-hundred dollars.
Sorry mom, I think as I take a credit card she left and a few pieces of jewelry she never wears to sell them.
Rushing for fear my mom would be home soon, I took some canned crap off the shelves and threw my toiletries in a pouch of my backpack before checking that I had everything.
Before I left, I wrote a note:
Mom,
Please don't worry and please don't hate me, but I had to leave. Maybe one day I can explain this but I don't even know how long I'll live. I love you, but I had to get away.
Love,
Your daughter, Mattie <3

Just before I decided I was ready, I took the pregnancy test and tossed it into the bottom of my bag.
My heart shattered as I pulled my suitcase and backpack out the front door--out of the house I'd barely got to know and away from the only person in the world who loved me--all because of Anthony and Sasha.
But you love--
Don't fucking think it. She doesn't matter anymore, she doesn't care about you and she wants you to leave her alone.
Well, where are we going?
Um... I have no clue.
I sighed to myself and went into the back streets behind the houses so nobody could see me as I tried to think about where to go.
I took out my phone and looked through my contacts.
Addie from chorus, delete.
More A's...
Bethany from science, delete.
More B's and some C's...
Dalia.
I stared at the contact and left it for now.
Maybe she'll let me stay there. Maybe I should beg her to let me back, to date me again. Evidently, I should've never stopped being with her. I thought Sasha loved me...
I shook the thought away and kept browsing my contacts, only leaving Dalia, Sasha, and Mom.
As I stepped onto a familiar street corner, I looked up and into the face of a familiar man.
"Hey, cupscakes."
I froze and was left speechless. I couldn't move or do anything I was so scared.

"What did you tell Sasha?"

My heart was racing and I gaped."I-I didn't tell her anythi-thing, she found out, I sw-swear."
I feared for my life and safety.

"The why is Sasha Blowing up my phone with Text messages about shit that happened Three weeks ago?" He said stepping up closer to me.

There was nowhere to back up; I was up against a bus stop bench.
"She-she told me to leave you alone, please just l-leave me be and I won't cause any trouble..."

"Get an abortion." He says bluntly.

I somehow manage to stand tall and stare him in the eye.
"No. It will have no connection to you and it will also not be refused life."

He wraps his hand around my throat and glares death wishes at me. "Abort it or i will make you."

My breath comes in a small gasp.
"You can't... do anything!"
While my hands are behind my back, I dial my emergency contact: Sasha.

"You don't know what i'm capable of. Sasha doesn't need this." He said squeezing my throat harder. "You're just trying to fuck up our relationship. You don't know what you're getting into."

I try to breath but my vision starts to go dark around the edges.
"I'm... leaving... you... the.... fuck... alone!!"
I shove him off and start running.

He didn't run after me.

I manage to get to a public place--some italian restaurant-- and look down to my phone. It died at some point and I could only pray it wasn't right after I hit her name.