~Theories

~New arrivals

When we are born what are we?
We are aren't exactly good, nor are we bad. But if not good or bad then what?

Are we in the middle indecisive of which side to choose?

Is choosing really that hard? Perhaps we're afraid we'll choose the wrong side.

Perhaps their too new to be sure which side to choose yet.

But eventually we're no longer new, we become young, and then we become grown and then we're just old.

Sometime in between those stages something happens, something has to happen because never do we stay in the middle forever.

Sometime in our life without realizing we choose a side.

Am not sure exactly how it happens, we just do. Am not sure when it happens either, perhaps it happens overnight, or maybe it takes years, days, hours, time.

It takes time, that much am aware of.

I don't know what pulls us to finally make the decision on a side.

Perhaps its an invisible force advertising each side, persuading you. Or perhaps its nothing or nobody else at all but just us.

Maybe theres something living in the abysses of our solemn souls, telling us this is what we should be.

Really am not sure, whatever the force, what ever the reason we choose a side.

Some people choose the good, because perhaps their fond of being pure and they fancy the light.

Others perhaps fancy the dark or maybe their afraid of being the light.

For some reason odd some reject the light and fall into the dark, am not sure why. You would think the light would be more pleasant than wallowing in the dark, lurking with the shadows. Something causes some to choose the bad side, and am pretty sure it isn't just the chocolate chip cookies they offer there.

I suppose some better prefer hiding in the shadows.

I think its easier there. But not better.

I don't know which side am on, really is anybody on the good side?

Why have I got this feeling that the side of the good is mournfully empty and the side of the dark is crowded and strangely populated?

Why is that?

Did the good side not offer cookies?

Was anybody even on the good side? I'm not sure I am.

I'm not sure if am in the shadows either. I would love to hide, to not be seen. It's easier that way, to be hidden from everyone and everything around you. It in a way is a relief.

But I despise the dark, or maybe perhaps the dark despised me.

Maybe I was on neither side, maybe I was still lurking in the middle, indecisive about which path to choose.

But for some reason odd why did I feel like the side of the good was almost never chosen? And for another reason odd why did I feel like it wasn't really us who chose but really something else?

Perchance the sides themselves chose for us. Maybe they were the indecisive ones not us.

I wonder why I was still stuck in the middle, did neither side which to have me?

Was I really that much of an outcast, was simply accepting me as I am really all that bad?

Except I don't know who I am, don't know where I belong, don't know which side am supposed to be on.

Maybe there weren't any sides at all, just a side. The dark side, because lately I've found myself beginning to question wether a good side existed at all. Was there such a thing as good in this world?

If there was it was hiding its light, perchance getting lost in all the shadows.

I think thats one of the problems in this world, too much shadows, too much dark, too much evil, too much bad.

Maybe the light of the good side slowly was beginning to dim so now it was hard to find. Maybe the good side was hiding itself, perhaps the dark has grown too dominant.

Perhaps too much people chose to be bad, perhaps that was our problem, us as people always chose wrong and never right.

I think the side of the good is on the right.

But truly do we have any control whatsoever on the people we become?

Yes its a choice of ours, but at the same time it isn't.

Because the thing is sometimes we do things we really don't want to. Feel things we don't mean to.

Why is that? Why do we do these things even though we don't want or mean to?

Is it something in out heads, hearts, being? Why can't we help but control ourselves sometimes, what morphs us into who we are?

Are the personalities of our souls merely already decided before we come out new crying from who knows where.

Are our actions already written in stone? Do we even choose at all?

Who are we??

Really?

Are we souls indecisive. Is that why the choice is always made for us sometimes without us even realizing?

Because some people are what they don't want to be, which is utterly bizarre.

Aren't you supposed to like who you are. Aren't you supposed to be who you want to be?

If so then why aren't we?

Why do some of us drown in a sea of self hate?

We were all new arrivals once, and I think we new the world was simply just no good.

It would explain the reason we arrive crying.

Maybe we're sad. Because before our eyes are even open we can already see what kind of world we have been brought in.

And the realization brought us to tears.

And they weren't tears of joy neither.

I think someway, somehow we know how it is here and we also know thats not how it's supposed to be.

I think when we are born for a slight moment in time we're wise enough to know the saddening truth about this world.

But then that moment in time disappears and for some reason something makes us forget, forget where we really are.

But I think as we grown up we begin to remember again, begin to remember we live in a world of danger, theres no safe place here, none at all.

I don't think all of us remember though, I think its the very few of us who stop for a moment to think about it.

And when we remember for a moment to quick to be acknowledged we're new again. We don't cry this time though, at least not always, but I cried. I cried a lot.  Maybe in a way am still new, maybe.

But I think once this realization hits us we become what we first were when arriving here.

I've got another theory. I think we're born sad.