you & i [ON HOLD]

ten - andrea

*POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING (idk, just don't want to risk anything)*

he never knew. he never understood. how i felt. about myself.

and about him.

he seemed so happy with anyone else but me. when we talked, it would only be sad conversations that turn dark and depressing. i wish he liked me. he didn't. well, i don't think he did. he smiled when clary was around, had more to talk about with her, had a better (possible) future with her. he claimed that she was annoying, but i mean, he had to like her. why would he like a pale, depressed girl like me. it didn't make sense when someone would tell me that he liked me.

why? when i had all these problems. i had insomnia, i never slept. i practically was anorexic, not by choice. i was depressed, for so many reasons including the fact that last year there was a group that was basically a 'we hate andrea' club. i was being abused by my mother, when she was angry. i also self-harmed and was suicidal.

why would he like me? why?

everyone would say that i put a smile on his face and why would they even say that he likes me back. i can guarantee that was far from true.

~♡~

i put on my jacket and tied up my running shoes. i grabbed my house keys and headed out. the walk was calming. i took deep breaths and tried to think about anyone but him. i thought about my best friend Gabrielle. my other friend Sam. also Cara. i thought about my past, my present, and my future.

all those thoughts were interrupted. i crashed into another figure. and fell.

"Watch where you're going!" i sighed, frustrated. a hand came down, offering to help me up. i grabbed the hand and stood up.

"Sorry," the figure apologized. i put my head up and locked eyes with tyler. i gasped. his eyes widened, "h-hey Andrea."

i looked away, "hey." i heard him sigh. i turned back to look at him and he gave me a small smile. i studied his face, he looked concerned. i looked down and saw that my sleeves were rolled up and my scars were visible. i looked away and covered them up. tyler looked at me and frowned. "I-I gotta go," i stammered. tyler looked at me. he nodded. i continued running.

~♡~

my keys jingled as i took them out to unlock the door. upon entering, i went straight to my couch. i switched on Netflix and watched Scandal.

'knock knock' i sighed and paused my show. "COMING," i yelled. i rushed to the door, "who ever you are, I'm in the middle of Sca-" i looked up and it was tyler.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Hi..?" it came out of a question, "what do you want?" he looked around, he seemed hurt by what i had said. "So-sorry that came out wrong," i muttered. he nodded, accepting my apology.

"I wanted to talk," he scratched the back of his head. i opened the door wider, letting him in. he sat on the couch and i took a seat next to him. he hesitated, "I need to make something clear, I don't like Clary."

i frowned, "Okay, but I can list so much more possibilities, Gabrielle, Cara, Sa-"

he interrupted me, "you." it came out as an answer.

"What?"

"You. What if I like you?" he waved his hands.

"Why would you like me in the first place?" i sighed, "I'm unattractive, I'm a coward, I-"

"No. You are the opposite of those things," he argued. i rolled my eyes. he looked at me and frowned, "I have to go."

why?

why did he have to go? he was leaving me to wonder about what just happened. i was lost. he always leaves me.

always leaves me

********************
I really hope you guys like this <3
~sacchi~