you & i [ON HOLD]

eleven - andrea

"Hey Drea," gabrielle chased after me. i was currently rushing to my locker, tears threatening to spill without my consent. i put all my things in the grey, metal compartment and wiped my tears.

i turned around quickly, "Hey Gabs." gabrielle looked for a sign of a tear, my voice gave it away. Gabrielle grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bathroom.

"What's up Drea?" she looked concerned. i shook my head and muttered a small 'nothing.' Gabrielle sighed, "What happened."

then everything came at once, "yesterday, tyler came over and told me that he might, or might not, like me and I'm so confused. Also, my mom came close to, you-know-what." Gabrielle frowned.

"Oh, I'm sorry," gabrielle let go of my arm. she helped me clean up and we walked back out.

"Hey guys," it was a familiar voice, too familiar. i looked up and locked eyes with tyler. "Hey Shorty," he offered me a small smile, but i looked away.

"Hey treetop," i said and looked back up, his frowned changed to a smile. i forced a smile and he hugged me. i hugged him back and for that moment, i was happy. he made me happy. he slowly let go and he took my hand. the three of us then walked to class.

~♡~

'RING' the school bell indicated that school was over and i exited the building. the cold wind rushed and i shivered. i hated cold weather. i shivered once more and turned in time to tyler hugging clary. i felt a pang of jealousy and looked at my feet. why was i jealous? it wasn't like we were together or anything. "Yeah, because he totally didn't tell you that he liked you," i sarcastically muttered under my breath.

"What was that shorty?" i didn't see tyler walk up to me.

"Nothing," i said, examining the cold air escaping my lips. he sighed, looking at me. "So," i said once more, shivering. he felt the side of my cheek.

"Woah, you okay? You are really cold," he took my hand.

i shivered, "cold weather sucks." he softly smiled and hugged me. he was warm, it felt nice. i buried my head in his chest and we stayed there. i soon let go, him following. we stood there in silence, but it wasn't a bad silence, it was a nice, calm one. i started to walk to my house, but tyler stopped me.

"Where you going?" he asked. i told him i was walking home. he shook his head, "not alone, or in this foggy weather." i sighed.

"How will I get home then?"

"I'll walk with you," he smiled wide. i nodded, hesitating at first. he smiled wider, if that was possible and we started to walk.

~♡~

"Well, here we are," i smiled.

he looked at me, examining my facial expression, "that's a real smile."

i was taken aback, "what?"

"Today, all your smiles have been forced, but this isn't, why?" he asked. i shrugged not knowing the reply. he shook his head, "anyway, see you tomorrow shorty."

"See you," i replied. he gave me a hug and i smiled.

~♡~

'Dear Diary,

Today was good, but it was bad. It made sense, but it didn't. I really do like Tyler, but what if he doesn't really feel the same way? Anyway, my depression seems to get worse. I have moments where I'm happy, pissy, or sad. I don't know anymore. I get panic attacks here and there, but yeah. That's about it.

Andrea'

i closed my book and turned out the light

goodnight

*****************
if i had a dollar for everytime you were on my mind i'd have one because you're always on my mind.

i saw that somewhere and idk
~sacchi~