Wolf-Shifter

Dancing among the Stars 39

Eyes staring blankly at the floor, Rose looked down watching her red slippers take one step at a time. Left foot, right foot. Left foot, right foot. Left. Right. It was a constant rhythm, almost like the throb of a drum and she sighed softly, remembering how easy it was to just lose oneself in music. Her thoughts gave her no rest, constantly nagging her about her duties and she stubbornly shoved them to the back of her mind.

Suddenly, her eyes blurred and the crimson silk she wore reminded her vividly of spilled blood. Her blood. Images flashed before her eyes...not only images, but sensations as well.

"Pain," she thought. She could feel Ralon over her again, hear his heavy breathing, smell his sweat, and taste his tongue on hers. The phantom pain of his raping her made her double over in the hallway, and she cried out softly, breath hitched as the pain worsened. Black spots danced in her vision; in the spasms of pain she had forgotten to breathe. "Help me," she moaned her voice barely a breath. She shook her head violently and dragged air into her lungs as she leaned back against the cold wall, welcoming its solidness and the feel of it against her sweating skin.

She wanted to cry. She wanted Nyesh to hold her, to tell her she was safe. This wasn't the first time she'd had flashbacks of that night, a week ago, but this had been the worst by far. But instead of finding Nyesh like she'd intended, like she needed to, she fled down the hallway, back to her rooms.

Once inside the safety of her chamber, Rose let out a long, fear-filled sigh. Leaning against the wall she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. "Just shut the door." She shut it softly and carefully and began swiftly untying the laces at the back of her gown.

She stripped herself of the despised red silk; it didn't matter how beautiful she'd looked in it moments before. Instead, she pulled on a simple cotton gown, white, with no embroideries. White was pure. Something she would never be, nor deserve to wear again. But it made her feel safe to lose herself in the soft cloth.

She sat on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest, and stared into the dying fire, involuntarily shivering. Missing the ball she'd put so much effort into preparing for, seemed unimportant now-- useless even. She could only concentrate on her fear; even seeing Nyesh now wouldn't calm her.

As if her thought had summoned him, Nyesh's voice and a knock on the door called Rose's attention to the room's entrance. She watched with the gaze of someone much wiser, much more exhausted, than the girl she'd been as the door swung open to admit Nyesh. He looked stunning in a deep blue tunic, white shirt and brown boots, but Rose had no eyes for that. She stared blankly at her friend, at the young man she loved, and said nothing, the silence soon turning to tension.

Nyesh closed the door softly behind him. "Rose," he began his voice soft. "What's wrong?"

He was concerned, she knew, but still Rose couldn't find her voice. Neither did she feel the need to speak. For if she uttered a sound or moved an inch, she knew the thoughts, the fear, the pain, would return, flooding her until she wouldn't be able to speak at all. Rose only shook her head and stiffened when Nyesh sat on her bed and pulled her into his warm embrace. "Rose, what happened? Why aren't you dressed for the ball?"

Man and woman stood in the room, a comfortable silence hovering over them. Finally, Nyesh swallowed and spoke up, "I understand completely what this is about now...I don't want you to hurt anymore." His voice was strained, as if he were holding something back. "I want you to heal; I want you to be happy…I-I just want the best for you." A few tears fell down Nyesh's cheek and he hastily wiped them away with the back of his hand, "I'm so sorry for letting that happen to you...it should have never occured in the first place..."

When she didn't answer yet again, but instead took his hand, eyes softening, Nyesh fell silent. He knew that sometimes, words weren't appropriate, nor enough and only presence was needed. Now was such a time.