Divergent UNIVERSITY ✅

chapter 31

They gather her things and return to the hotel that Tori and Tris had been staying in. Brian got two rooms for the night since their plane doesn't leave until the next day.Before they separate, the four of them decide to go to the hotel's restaurant and get something to eat. None of them, especially Tris, has eaten anything for the past thirty-six hours.Tris is grateful for the food and to be with her friends and protectors.Four keeps one of his hands on her the entire time that they are in the restaurant. He hasn't moved away from her from the moment that they kissed in the hospital. He is too afraid that if he takes his hand from her that he will lose her again.Tris can feel his fear and desperation in the way he is carrying himself. She knows that he still blames himself for what happened to her. But she knows that those two guys would have acted out against her, with or without Four. They had been bothering her for quite some time, it just took her finding Four that caused them both to go off the deep end.They make small talk throughout their meal, never really talking about anything of consequence. When they finish eating, Four and Tris go up to their room and begin to prepare for bed. She goes into the bathroom to change while Four changes in the room. He takes off his shirt and puts on sweatpants. When she comes out Four is floored. She has on a tiny night gown and nothing more. He can't help but think that this is torturous. He has a hard enough time controlling himself around her as it is.She climbs into bed and he moves into the bed next to her. He doesn't curl around her like he would normally. He keeps his distance, afraid that he won't be able to control his desires. She turns her body toward his and slides closer to him. He wraps one arm under her head and caresses her shoulders."What's the matter?" she asks him."Nothing, it's just..." he is cut off when she moves closer to him and pushes her lips gently to his. She pulls back and looks into his eyes. She can see the desire and need in his eyes.He runs his hands across her bare arm to her neck. He runs his fingers gently to the back of her neck and through her hair. He pulls her back to him. When his lips meet hers again, she can't control the trembling that passes through her body. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls herself close to him pressing her body against his. The feel of her body against his bare chest drives him mad. She hangs on around his neck as he nibbles at her mouth. She barely notices when his hand glides down her side and across her bare thigh. She moves her leg and wraps it around his waist pulling him even closer to her with her leg.He moves his hand and caresses her bottom, squeezing slightly. He finds the hem of her night gown and slides his hand under it finding the bare skin beneath. Her body shudders under his touch as he glides his hand across her side, stomach, and then to her breast. She stiffens slightly at the feel of his rough fingertips touching the sensitive skin on her breast. When he encircles her hard nipple with his fingers, she can't control the moan that escapes her.The sound of her pleasure makes him deepen the kiss as he concentrates on the parts of her that he's never touched before. She glides one of her hands across his bare chest, her fingers sliding across his muscles. She slides her fingers across his side and along his muscular back.He pulls away from the kiss slightly and moves his lips across her cheek to her neck, paying special attention to the sensitive area just below her ear. He whispers in her ear so quietly that she can't hear what he is saying, but the feel of his hot breath on her neck and ears sends her senses into overdrive. He kisses across her shoulder to the exposed skin on her collarbone where the ravens and the claddagh permanently mark her skin. He moves back to her lips and begins to massage her tongue with his.He skims his fingers from her breast back down to her stomach and to the small of her back. He pulls her tight and flips himself onto his back, pulling her so she is lying on top of him. She pulls away slightly and meets his gaze. He stares into her eyes like he is trying to read her thoughts. He wants to know if this is really what she wants or if they should stop now before things get out of control. She knows that these are the things that he is asking with just his eyes.They keep their gazes locked as he glides his fingers up and down her spine gently, sending chills throughout her entire body. Then she makes a decision that she never expected that she would make. She does want this to continue, she wants to be closer to him, as close as she can get.She leans in and presses her lips to his again, trying to express what she wants through the kiss. He seems to understand because he runs both of his hands up her back under her night gown to her shoulders, lifting the nightgown up so it reveals her stomach and panties.He can feel her unexpectedly tense and he knows what is wrong. She has never been with a man before. He suddenly realizes that he wants to make everything about her first experience as special and perfect as he can, and this isn't it. He pulls back and looks her in her beautiful eyes, "I love you Tris." He has never felt such an uncontrollable urge to tell someone how much he loves them before. It isn't just words, it is everything he is feeling right now. He realizes at this moment that he wants to spend the rest of his life with this girl.He rolls them back over so that he is on his side and she is next to him. She looks at him slightly confused but with a bit of relief."I love you. I want to make your first experience special and memorable.""Any time that I'm with you, it is special and memorable. I love you."She curls up next to him and lays her head on his bare chest. She can hear his heart beat gradually slow to a normal rhythm, realizing that she was the reason that his heart rate was accelerated. She skims her fingers up and down his muscular abdomen as he pulls her tight to his side. After some time, she hears as his breaths slow and become steady. She knows that he is sleeping soundly holding her tight in his arms.Soon the rhythm of his heart and breathing lull her to sleep as well.~oOo~The next morning Tris wakes up happier than she has ever been before. She looks up at the man next to her in the bed and smiles to herself. He loves her so much that he wants to make every new experience special for her. She realizes that that she wants to give herself to him completely and that someday soon, she will find a way to give herself to him without hesitation.She slides out of the bed and goes into the bathroom to get a shower.When Four wakes up and sees that Tris is not there. He panics for a moment before hearing the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. He gets up out of the bed and calls room service to send up breakfast. He orders pancakes, eggs, bacon, and orange juice. The shower shuts off and he lies back in the bed so he can watch as she emerges from the bathroom. What he sees is unexpected and sends his body back into the state that he was in the night before.She climbs out of the shower and quickly sees that she forgot to bring clothes in with her. She wraps a towel around herself and opens the door to see Four staring at her wide eyed.He quickly closes the distance between them and pulls her into his arms. He presses his lips to hers and kisses her passionately. He quickly pulls away smiling at her.She stares into his eyes and sees all of the love and desire that he feels reflected back at her. She knows that he is the man that she wants to spend the rest of her life with, but she doesn't know if what she sees in his eyes is the same.Four kisses the top of her head, "I'm going to get a shower. I called down for breakfast, so it should be here soon."He walks into the bathroom and closes the door behind him, leaving it cracked just a little.Tris quickly gets dressed and moves around the room gathering her belongings and packing her bag. Today they will return to Chicago and to school. Now that she is alone for a few moments, she stops and thinks about everything that has happened over the past couple days. Panic and fear start to build in her chest. Those guys were completely inept, they didn't know what they were doing, and they had no real plan. The frightening thing is, they could have killed her. At any time during the almost two days that she was with them, they could have done whatever they wanted to her and she couldn't have done anything about it.When someone knocks on the door and announces room service, she begins to panic. The thought of someone else doing to her what those guys did terrifies her. She didn't realize until now, how badly those two men and affected her. She's afraid to be alone, she's afraid to open the door.She walks over by the door and looks into the peep hole. He looks like a hotel employee, but she doesn't trust it."Can you just leave the cart by the door?" she announces through the closed door.Four finishes his shower and gets dressed. He can hear Tris talking to someone and she sounds panicked. He walks out of the bathroom and sees her talking to someone through the door who is outside in the hall."Tris, what is it?"She immediately starts trembling and tears stream down her cheeks. Four rushes over to her and wraps her in his arms. "What's wrong?" he asks as he opens the door.Outside is a man with the food cart. "Here is your breakfast sir," the man says.Four hands him a tip and takes the cart from him while still holding on to Tris' trembling body. He pulls the cart in, closes the door, and locks it. He then pulls Tris over to the bed and sits down, pulling her down with him."Tris, talk to me. What's wrong?""I... I don't know. I guess I just panicked.""Because you didn't know who was behind the door?"She nods and buries her face in his neck. He can feel her tears stream down his shoulder and chest as she continues to cry. This is the first time that she's broken down since they found her last night. Four just sits and holds her until he feels that she has fallen asleep in his arms. He cradles her gently and lays her back into the bed. He then goes and gets the food that he had ordered for them and begins to prepare their plates. He wants to make sure she eats something before they leave the hotel today."Tris, wakeup," he says while gently rubbing her shoulder.She opens her eyes and looks at him, "What is it?""You need to eat something. We have to leave for the airport soon."She slides up so she is sitting up in the bed and he hands her a plate full of food. He sits down next to her and finishes his food."What happened to you earlier?" he asks concerned."I don't know. I was just getting dressed and was thinking about how lucky I really was. I mean those two guys could have done whatever they wanted to me. They could have had their way with me, and if Al wasn't there, Eric would have. The fact that I'm only here now, because they were idiots terrifies me. What if someone else comes after me? What if next time, they have a plan? You and Brian can't always be there to protect and save me.""Well, you wouldn't need protecting if it weren't for me. It is because of me that this has happened to you. Maybe we should just take a break. Then maybe these people will see that we aren't together and they'll leave you alone."Four says all of this without looking up from his plate. It breaks his heart to say this, but he knows it is also the only way to truly protect her. She is right about everything. Those guys could have done whatever they wanted to her and he couldn't have stopped it. He wasn't there for her when she needed him the most, and for that he will never forgive himself.Tris' heart starts to pound in her chest and she suddenly feels like she is going to throw-up her breakfast. She looks at him, trying to see if he is joking about taking a break, but he refuses to meet her gaze. Her panic rises when she sees that he is completely serious about what he is telling her. The fear she was feeling before is suddenly replaced by the panic she is feeling because of what he is saying. She can't let this happen, but if he makes up his mind, she knows there is little she can do about it. In less than a month the semester will be over and he will be able to completely disappear from her life forever.Tears stream down her face as she begins to speak, "Tobias, please don't say that. I need you in my life. I can't imagine my life without you.""You aren't safe with me Tris. You will never be safe if you stay with me. It is best if we cut ties once we return to Chicago."His voice is hard and devoid of feeling as he says this. She knows that this isn't the real him. That he is not really like this, but it still hurts horribly to hear him talk to her like that.She begins to sob uncontrollably, hardly able to catch her breath. She can feel that she is starting to have a panic attack. She knows that she has to find a way to control her breathing or she is going to pass out."You can't do this to me," she says through her sobs. "You can't just leave me like this. I won't let you. You love me. You told me you love me.""It is because I love you that I have to do this. I'm sorry Tris, but this is the way it has to be.""No, No, No... It is not the way it has to be. You are copping out. You don't want to face what comes next so you are just going to run away from it all. Well, that isn't the way things work Tobias."He keeps his eyes down and does not look over at her. He knows that if he looks at her, he won't be able to do what needs to be done in order to protect her."Damn it Four, look at me!"