Divergent UNIVERSITY ✅

chapter 53

Even though everything seems to be going well for everyone, Tris is a complete mess on the inside. Since the attacks she is terrified of being alone. The last attack at the softball game was the final event that completely set her off. She was fine when Four was with her every single day, never leaving her side while he was on holiday break from work. She doesn't really trust anyone except for her handful of friends. But the closer the spring semester gets, the more frightened she gets about having to go back to campus, about being around more people, and about playing softball. Sam hasn't made any additional threats to Tris, but as with Marcus, she thinks it's only a matter of time before Sam will try something again.Sam was currently in jail because of the attack and breaking her parole. Eric was found not guilty by reason of insanity for her kidnapping. He is currently in a psychiatric hospital getting help. And Marcus was still in jail. But she thinks it is only a matter of time before they are free to terrorize her again.After New Year, things started to change quickly around her. Zia and Zeke were planning their wedding. She tried to be happy for them, but she just couldn't. Then Four left to go to Indiana for spring training. She understood that he had to go, but deep down she resented him for leaving her. He was the only thing helping her to keep it together. Now with him gone and everyone moving forward with their lives,Tris feels like she is stuck. She wants desperately to be happy, to be supportive, to be the friend that she used to be, but she is unable to move forward, unable to go back, she's just stationary and she can't force herself to care.Just before Four left, he started to spend more time at his apartment, cleaning it out and packing it up. Zeke has moved in with Zia, so they decided to let the apartment go. With Four spending time away, she has found that she can't sleep without him. He seemed to be the only thing that kept her kind of sane. Now she stays up all night jumping at the slightest noises or hiding in the corner of her room, waiting for the attack that never comes. Her dreams are filled with images of Eric ripping her clothes off, Al's voice begging for forgiveness and inevitably his body plunging into a river, and Sam's face just before she swung the bat that plunged Tris into blackness.She hides in her room and barricades the doors when no one is home. She's had to spend more time alone lately with everyone either working or visiting their families for the holidays. The weeks following New Years and before the spring semester started were more difficult than she could have imagined. Four left the third week of January and although he calls every day, he's always exhausted from the day's workout. He managed a starting position at first base, but he had to work really hard to earn that position.Zia and Zeke are in full swing planning their wedding. Zeke graduated from the police academy at the top of his class and is now working for the Chicago Police Department. He was even offered a position in the K9 unit and will be receiving his German Sheppard puppy soon. Then he will go through an additional six months of training with his K9. He's promised Tris that he would keep an eye out for Sam, but right now, she is still in jail for violating her parole at the last softball game.In the middle of January, Tori and Brian welcomed their little boy into the world. It was yet another reason for Tris to find some joy in life, especially when she was asked to be little Liam's God mother. Yet again she faked happiness around her friends and family, but she felt nothing but fear and despair. Now she also feared for this little baby boy because he was so small and innocent, like she once was. He knew nothing of the horrors that awaited him in the world.The moment she could disappear from the crowd of people that had congregated at her house for the welcome party for Liam, she did. She started to feel herself hyperventilate when someone she wasn't familiar with came into the room. She claimed that she was up late and that she was tired so no one would come looking for her. She locked herself away in her room and hid herself in the closet. She couldn't stand being around people anymore.Since Four left for Indiana, Zia and Zienna both started going to the house to hang out with Tris more frequently. During those times when she has company, Tris forced herself to pretend to be happy and attentive. She's become very good at hiding her despair from her family and friends. She tried to care about planning the wedding, but she just didn't. She would just nod and give a half hearted smile when they would talk about wedding plans. Zia and Zienna both thought her indifference was due the Four's departure.The only one that seems to have noticed any difference in her behavior has been Four. When he calls her, he can tell that she just doesn't sound like herself. Whenever he tries to talk to her about coming to Indiana to see him, she quickly changes the subject or gives some excuse about school, her parents, or softball. Even when he tries to talk to her about the softball season or about how spring training is going, she doesn't seem to care about the conversation. He can tell that she is only pretending to be interested based on the questions she asks or the answers that she gives. And she doesn't seem to pay any attention to what he is saying. He's tried to talk to Natalie and Bud about it, but they pass it off as just nerves about going back to school or her being sad that he's gone.By the time the end of January draws near and the spring semester is about to begin, Bud and Brian move Tris' things back into Kappa house. Marlene had promised her that no one had touched her room since she left. When Tris walks into the house though, all she wants to do is run away and hide.Nothing was the same anymore. Four was gone, her friends were moving forward with their lives like nothing ever happened. And nothing did happen to them. They weren't the ones kidnapped, they weren't hit with a bat.Marlene and Christina were so excited to see Tris when she arrived at Kappa, that they didn't notice that she was completely terrified. She faked a smile as all of the girls from the sorority welcomed her back. The softball players all seemed to be genuinely thrilled for her to return. But all Tris could think about was how Sam had pretended to be nice and friendly at first. How no one knew that she was psychotic until it was too late. What if one of these girls is like that too?She managed to keep herself together until everyone left her, the moment she was alone she lost it. Her body started to tremble, her heart hammered in her chest, and she began to cry uncontrollably.Marlene and Christina tried to get her to come to Phi Delta for a welcome back party for the spring semester, but Tris refused. She claimed to be too tired from the move to do anything. But in reality, Tris was barely sleeping. She was exhausted all of the time, but she couldn't sleep. She would sit up all night just to avoid the nightmares that forced her to relive her experiences over and over. She also didn't want to ever go anywhere near Phi Delta again.After a couple days of Tris hiding in her room, Christina starts to worry about her. It is unlike Tris to lock herself in her room. It is also unlike her to refuse to talk to people. Even when Chris tried to talk to her about working out and softball, Tris didn't seem to care. She would skirt around the subject and then claim to have a headache so she could go and lock herself back in her room.Christina and Marlene started talking about the changes that they noticed in Tris. They decided to keep an eye on her a little longer. Neither of them wanted to accuse her of something being wrong if they weren't sure.~oOo~With the beginning of the semester came more horror for Tris. She found that she would walk a mile out of her way just to avoid Phi Delta. She couldn't concentrate in her classes, and these classes were vital to her completing her degree and becoming a licensed physical therapist. But she just didn't care anymore. By the third week of the semester, she was skipping classes and refusing to talk to anyone.When the first day of spring training began and she didn't show up, Marlene finally decided that there is something really wrong with her. Tris would never have blown off softball. She went to try to talk to Tris after practice, but all she found was an empty room. Tris had hidden herself away in the closet and Marlene didn't think to look there for her.Marlene waited for Christina to come home to discuss what they should do."Christina, she didn't come to practice today, she's blowing off classes there's something wrong with her.""I agree, I think we should talk to someone.""Well, I'll call Natalie. Maybe she'll know what to do," Marlene says."I'm going to talk to Brian too. I think I might have an idea about what is going on with her and I think he'll know what to do."Christina goes off to call Brian. When she explains what Tris is doing and how she's been acting, Brian becomes very worried about her. He knows that it could either be depression or what he thinks is post traumatic stress disorder. He starts to call around to all of her friends to talk to them about what they have seen of her behavior.The conversation that worries him the most is his conversation with Four. After he left, she started pulling away from him. He told Brian about her indifference during their conversations and about how he's had worries about her for weeks, but no one seemed to think that it was a big deal.By the time Brian gets off of the phone he is almost positive that Tris has PTSD. He makes one final call to Natalie and Bud to tell them of his suspicions. At first they don't want to hear that there is something wrong with their daughter. They try to say that her behavior change is due to Four leaving or going back to school. But when he tells them about her skipping classes and not going to softball practice, they realize that there is something wrong with their daughter.After getting off of the phone with her parents, Brian drives to campus to talk to Tris so that he could see for himself if he's right. When he gets there, he doesn't see her in her room. But after a few silent moments, he hears he sobs coming from the closet in her room. He gently knocks on the door so he doesn't startle her, and he calls out her name so she knows it is him."Tris, I hear you in there. It's Brian, I'm going to open the door. Don't worry, I'm here alone and the door is closed so you won't be bothered by anyone else."She doesn't respond, so he slowly opens the door. He finds her in the corner of her closet, buried under a blanket."Tris, can you come out of there for me please?"She slowly gets up and crawls out of the closet. The look on her face says that this movement is physically painful for her. She stands and moves toward her bed where she sits. She never makes eye contact with him or even attempts to talk. Nothing about her behavior is normal."Tris, are you okay?"She simply nods but doesn't speak."Tris, can you talk to me about what is going on? Your friends are concerned because you aren't going to softball practice, you aren't talking to Four, and you aren't going to classes.""I'm fine, I'm just tired.""Why were you in the closet?""That is the only place that is safe. Everywhere else isn't safe. It is too easy for someone to get me when I'm not in my closet. Four left. He can't protect me anymore. You have a baby and you aren't my trainer anymore. You can't protect me. Dad is at home. He can't protect me. No one can protect me here."The tears start to fall and she refuses to talk anymore.Brian decides that she needs help now. "Tris, we need to go somewhere. Do you feel safe with me?"She nods her head.He gathers her into his arms and carries her out of the house to his car. He gently places her in the front seat. He can tell that she hasn't been eating properly; she's lost a lot of weight. As he walks to the driver side of the car, he texts Natalie about what is going on and that he is taking her to a psychiatric clinic. She needs to talk to someone and she needs appropriate help. None of them will be able to help her until she realizes that there is something wrong with her.