Catharsis

cry

My knees felt numb and I chewed my lower lip until I could taste blood on my tongue tip. Your face was pale. Your plump lips were pursed as if they were never been touched by life. I locked my eyes on yours like I was waiting for you to wake up in any minute. But you never would.

The policeman called your parents right after I confirmed your identity and they arrived in half an hour. They came hurriedly to make sure they were wrong, but the body laid on the bed was indeed his son. You.

Your father sobbed in silent, and your mother fell on her knees, crying your name a million times, begging you to come back.

I felt my heart throbbing and I clenched my teeth. My head was spinning. I felt suffocated. I rushed out without thinking and ran away but there was nowhere to hide from that pain. Nowhere in the world.

We'll be together forever.

Lie.

You'll never be alone, Baekhyun.

Lie.

You're my only best friend.

Lie.

I love you.

I blocked my ears with both hands and shouted down your voice but it was echoing inside my head. Those were all lies. You were never my friend. You were sick of me. You hated me.

"Hate me here, you jerk! Hate me when you're alive!" I screamed to no one but myself to hear.

So do I. I hate you too, for betraying me, for breaking your own promise, for faking this whole fucking friendship all this time.

"Hate me here in life! Hate me..."

I did cry. I cried hard it was only screams came out instead of tears. I cried the loudest I ever did. But the silence was as dead as you are.