Catharsis

last

January 27th, 2016

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the beautiful past and how close we used to be. We played everyday and talked about anything, didn't we? I miss that day when you slept overnight and were snoring so loud. Hey, do you remember how everyone in our class hated you back then? Do you know why? It's because you're really nice and smart and no one could be as good as you. They envied you, that's why. I know because I feel that too, now that you started to move on with life while I stayed the same, and we just keep growing apart.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't be the person you wanted me to be. I'm sorry I didn't treat you better. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I made more problems than I could solve. I'm sorry. For everything. I should say these to you directly but I'm just a stupid coward and I can't look into your eyes without feeling like a failure. I know I am. But I don't want you to see me the same. I want you to remember me as the nice and happy Park Chanyeol.

Thank you for those times. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for sharing those stars with me once. Thank you, Baekhyun. Although we both changed and you might hate me as much as I hate myself, please know that I was still the happiest when I was with you.