A Reylo Romance: "Don't be Afraid, I Feel it Too"

Kylo's Story, Part 3 - Rathtar Food

I check for a heartbeat then sigh in relief when I find one. I've never wanted someone I despised so much not actually to be dead. But if he dies because of me Rey will never forgive me.

I look at Finn in the snow. Seeing him unconscious brings back a memory I hoped to forever forget, the first time someone died because of me, my best friend in grade school. After that I was sent away to train with Luke, far from anyone that I could possibly harm.

I clench my fist then ram it into a tree. Bark goes flying and the pain shoots through my knuckles into my arm, making my elbow ache.

I'm my own worst enemy, not Snoke, not the Resistance or the whole damn Galaxy, just... me.

Finn coughs then turns onto his back. There's blood in his mouth. I'm sorry Rey

I go to him and use the Force to stand him up onto his feet.

"Follow me," I say, then start walking. Finn stumbles after me, having no other choice but to do as I command.

* * *

I need a crew and a medic. And an army, a fleet, servants, officers... I'm the strongest Sith Lord in the Galaxy, and I'm helping a Stormtrooper with his wounds.

I grind my teeth as I tighten Finn's bandages.

"Ouch!" he cries out.

His outburst surprises me. Why is he so damn fragile?

"I'm only human you know," he says to me, as though answering my thought.

"So am I," I reply. My words seem to surprise him, like he'd never thought of that before. I quickly finish securing the bandage then step away. I hate helping him. Maybe because I know he's the better man, despite his weak fragile body. Rey would be better off with him in the end. I'm the one who ordered him to shoot the innocent villagers on his first mission. He's the one who didn't shoot.

I leave the small medic area of my ship and head for the bridge. It's time to get off Yavin_4 and get back to looking for Rey. I'll interrogate Finn later, when he's got a little more strength. Maybe he has some information that might help me find her. Maybe the Resistance has a lead and he can tell me how far they've gotten in their own search.

I stop at the entrance to the bridge. Why is it that no matter how hard I try, I always fail?

An image enters my mind. Finn's memory of me carrying Rey in my arms. It wasn't just a memory, but a constant thought in his mind. To him it was the moment he'd failed, and I'd been victorious. This is the one thing I somehow didn't fail, Rey choosing to love me despite everything.

I head back to the medic room. I need to give the spineless wimp some water before he dies of stupidity. He lost a lot of blood and he'll need to replenish it if I plan to keep him alive long enough for Rey to see that I didn't kill him, again, when I should have many times.

Finn isn't in the medic room when I get there. I go to the nearest console to search for life-signs on board. He's in the mess hall. Maybe he's not as stupid as I thought.

The ship is small, much larger than a TIE Fighter but it's definitely no battleship with all the amenities.

I see Finn sitting in the mess hall before he sees me. He's slouched over, resting his elbows on the table, eating something, or trying to at least. There's a look of distaste on his face as he chews. He coughs, mid chew, then grimaces in pain, holding his side. I frown then walk over.

"That's Rathtar food," I say. Finn jumps at the sound of my voice, then cringes in pain again. It takes a second for my words to register in his Stormtrooper brain. Then he spits the food out across the table. I stifle a grin.

"Are you kidding me?" he says. "Why do you have Rathtar food on board?"

"I'll get you something else," I say. I don't like being on talking terms with one of my previous subordinates but he's just too pathetically helpless to be left on his own. I walk over to the food synthesizer and push the soup and bread button. A list of options comes up, but I'm not about to ask the Traitor what he wants, so I pick a tomato based broth.

"I've never seen one of those before," Finn says behind me, again trying to talk to me like we're equals. It grates on my nerves. I don't bother answering him. If he'd been anyone of importance he would have seen a food synthesizer, which are reserved for the General's quarters and important areas of the battleship.

"All I ever got was stew," Finn continues.

"There's water too, in the food synthesizer," I say, wanting this conversation to end.

Finn nods. I pass by his table and pick up the package of brown energy biscuits that Finn was trying to eat. I grab one to take with me to the bridge.

"I thought that was Rathtar food," Finn says.

I take a bite then turn to walk away, before he can see the grin on my face.