A Reylo Romance: "Don't be Afraid, I Feel it Too"

Kylo's Story, Part 6 - The Reawakening of Ben

The ice cold water freezes my very bones, its saltiness burns my eyes, like an ocean full of the tears of every person I've ever harmed or killed. How fitting that I am now drowning in this salty ocean. My boots weigh down heavy, pulling me into the dark abyss below, away from the light above that glistens near the top layers of the water.

The waves push me to and fro, but I sink down further. My lungs burn. I need air. The desperation hits fast. I struggle to swim up, but my muscles are cramped with the cold and my cloak is too heavy, dragging me down. My chest aches for air. I'll die and Snoke will finally die too. Then Rey will be free.

I'm weightless, sinking... the light from above grows dim, until I can no longer see it. I don't have the strength to swim up to it now, I can only sink into the endless darkness below. I was foolish to think I ever had the strength to accomplish the impossible in the first place.

You don't have the strength alone Ben. Let the Force, and all connected with it, help you. You'll have the strength together.

Where is Rey...? I plead, but dizziness is setting in and my body goes limp.

Where she is, you must take Snoke also,
to the place where good and evil, together can abide
Where the voices of the children of the dark and light
cry out from the tombs of their masters' eternal night

My thoughts begin to fade, my chest bursting with the need for air. I gulp water.

Ben has always been strong inside of you, strong with pain and hurt. For only your child self can access the power of the Force, so Ben is alive, my son is still alive.

It's my father's voice.

Snoke has no power but lies. Believe in the Freedom of the Force Ben, and you'll be free.

Something bumps the bottom of my feet and glides upwards beneath me, pressing into my back. It moves up, pushing me towards the surface, the weight of the water crushing against my chest as I move fast through the water.

I break through the surface, into the light, tossed high into the air, above the ocean. I cough out water, gasping for air. I see the ocean below me. A gigantic sea creature lowers down, disappearing into the water.

Something sharp cuts into my shoulders, stopping me from my fall. I cry out in pain. A cold gust of air rushes down over me. I look up. It's the large bird, clasping its talons into my shoulders and flapping its large wings downward. It struggles with some effort to carry me. I cough, each spasm causing the talons to dig in tighter. My wet clothes are a coat of ice. I see the sunrise on the horizon for a brief moment, then everything goes dark.

* * *

"Should I go get the medic again?"

I hear Finn's voice coming into my consciousness. My eyes are closed, my eyelids heavy as I wake slowly. I'm hot and sweaty, weighed down so I can't move.

"No, he's already done everything he can." It's my mother's voice this time. "If you want to do something, go get more wood for the fire."

"Yes Ma'am."

Finn's footsteps retreat then, a sigh, from my mom. A cool hand rests on my forehead, a welcome relief from all the heat. I open my eyes.

"Ben?" My mother is staring down at me with a worried expression on her face. She looks older now, but her eyes are still the same.

"Mom?" My throat is dry and my voice cracks.

Mom smiles at me and her eyes fill with tears. "You gave me a bit of a scare. I thought I'd lost you too."

My chest tightens. I want to tell her I'm sorry for what I did, for killing dad, but I can't seem to speak. She sniffles and gently moves my hair away from my forehead.

"We found you at the temple." She swallows, blinking back more tears, then continues. "Finn found you. You would have died of hypothermia if he hadn't."

Finn walks in with an armful of wood. "You did it because I told you not to get hypothermia, didn't you?" He says. "You know if anything happens to you Rey will never forgive me."

"Why do you think you're still alive?" I say, but Finn doesn't seem to get it.

I try to move the blankets off of me but they're too heavy and my arms are weak.

"We'll help you get up," my mom says. I'm about to object when my father's words come to me,

You don't have the strength alone Ben.

I nod to my mom and she helps me remove the blankets. Finn drops the firewood and hurries over to help me sit up. It takes every ounce of my self-control to let him touch my back and push me into sitting position. I look down and breathe a sigh of relief. I'm still in my clothes.

"I've had some dry clothes brought in," my mom says, pointing to a pile of sand coloured fabric on a nearby table. "We'll let you get dressed."

She gets up from the side of my bed and turns to leave.

"Mom?" I say.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," she gives me a sad smile. "And I forgive you... Kylo."

"It's Ben," I say. Mom looks surprised, then nods, turning away just as the tears fall down her cheeks. Finn puts his arm around her to guide her out of the room. He glances back at me, his expression curious, then they leave.

* * *

I look down at the sandy colour of the tunic I'm now wearing, so much like Uncle Luke's tunics when he was training me. The colour makes me feel exposed, like it's going to draw attention to me. I'm still using my black belt and boots, so I'll probably stand out even more. 

I lift the heavy hood over my head. I want to get out of this room, and I'm hungry. Maybe the hood will keep people from staring or noticing me.

With food on my mind I notice a plate that has only one thing on it, a dark brown dessert square, likely chocolate. I reach for it. A beep startles me and I look over to the entrance.

"That's Rey's!" BB-8 says.

I put the chocolate square back down.

"When she comes back she will want to eat it." BB-8 rolls up to me, but keeps a little distance.

I crouch down to her level. "Nice colours." I pat her on the side of the head. Her new BB-Unit body has blue reflector stripes mixed in with the classic orange ones, giving her a sporty look. She's shiny and new.

She rolls back then does a little spin to show off her new look. I smile.

"You're going to help me find Rey, right?" I say to her.

She stops spinning and tilts her head to the side. "How?"

"We'll work together."