A Reylo Romance: "Don't be Afraid, I Feel it Too"

Kylo's Story, Part 10 - The Heart Remembers

"She's resting," my mom says to me. I nod and start to walk away.

"Ben?"

I stop. She walks over to me and sets her hand on my arm. "This isn't necessarily a bad thing," she whispers. "Now she can get to know you as Ben."

My shoulders slump but I nod. "Is there somewhere I can go to be alone?" I ask. 

Mom pats my arm. "I know just the place."

Three rows of stone benches sit behind a large tree carved into the stone at the front of the small chapel. The ceiling is entirely black, as though it was charred by some explosion long ago. A small ray of sunlight shines in through a collapsed part of the ceiling, open to the sky. 

The stone pews are cold to the touch and I can see my breath in the air. I tilt my head up to the black ceiling, then close my eyes.

"May the power of the Force descend upon me and remain with me forever," I whisper. It's one of the ancient Jedi chants Uncle Luke taught me when I was training with him. I'd forgotten about the chants until this very moment. I used them to help control my anger, saying them when my temper would rise. Uncle Luke was so patient with me. He taught me self-discipline and gave me a strict daily routine. I soon began to love the consistency of it, the order.

I take a deep breath of cold ocean air and start a new chant, not wanting to think about what happened after my training time with Uncle Luke, when Snoke came into my life.

"Make known to me the ways of the Force, teach me the Jedi path, that I may follow it and live a life worthy of a Jedi.... Make know to me the ways of the Force,"

"Kylo?"

I turn fast. My breath catches. It's Rey. She's wearing a heavy, dark green dress that brushes the stone floor at her feet, a brown shawl wrapped around her shoulders. Her eyes sparkle in the dim light and her hair flows free. My heart aches and I look away, not wanting to stare.

"Can we talk?" she says.

I nod and she steps forward, taking a seat on one of the benches. I sit down beside her and she slides over, putting a little distance between us. I keep my glance on the back of the bench in front of me.

"I talked to your mother," she says softly.

I wait.

"She talked to me about us..."

I clasp the stone bench I'm sitting on as I wait for Rey to continue.

"I'm sorry I don't remember all that happened between us," she continues.

I shake my head, wanting to tell her it's not her fault and it's probably for the best, but I can't seem to speak.

"I don't think the General knows everything that happened between us either," she says. "But she knows that I loved you, enough to put my life in jeopardy to save you."

I grip the bench even tighter. There's a moment of silence.

Rey sighs. "No one is telling me anything. Even Finn won't talk about it and he made BB-8 promise not to say anything to me either."

"Where is she now?" I say. I had thought BB-8 was with Rey this whole time.

"Who? Your mom?"

"No, BB-8." I look over at Rey.

"Oh." She smiles and I stop breathing for a few seconds. "You really care about her don't you?"

I look away.

"I do too," Rey whispers. She takes a deep breath. "To tell you the truth, I felt drawn to you, even back on Jakku. I felt you calling me and I kept heading towards you like I was on autopilot. Even from light year distances away I could sense you." She stops for a second and I wait to take my next breath. "But it's not the same now."

I close my eyes, the words gripping my  heart. There's no reason to tell her that I've never felt her Force presence more than I do now, that it makes me practically dizzy when she's around.

"What were you chanting earlier?" she asks. I swallow down the lump in my throat and look up at the beam of light cutting across the air in front of us.

"Ancient Jedi chants," I manage to say through the pain in my throat.

"Can you teach me one?"

I glance at Rey. Her eyes are full of eagerness. I try to think through the chants I know.

"Can you teach me the one you were chanting when I walked in?" she asks.

I nod. "That's the evening and morning chant, the last thing said before sleep and the first thing spoken when waking from sleep."

"What about for someone who doesn't sleep?"

For a second I think she's talking about me but then remember that she no longer knows that about me. I let go of the cold bench seat and rub my hands together to warm them. "It can be chanted as a meditation, used as a form of-"

"Sleep?" Rey finishes for me. 

"Yes," I nod.

"Teach me that one!"

Taking a deep breath, I start. "Make known to me the ways of the Force-"

She repeats after me.

"Teach me the Jedi path... That I may follow it and live.... A life worthy of a Jedi."

I start again and Rey chants with me. When I stop she continues so I join in again. Our voices intermingle on the breeze that blows around us. I close my eyes, listening to her voice and mine chanting in unison. The cry of a large bird echoes in the distance, accompanied by the rumbling of Thunder and the smell of rain. I open my eyes and look up at the broken ceiling, where the light beam was just seconds ago, but now there's a cloudy sky. Lightning flashes as our voices blend. I turn to her and see that she's got tears running down her cheeks, her eyes closed, face raised to the sky. I stop chanting and then she does too.

"I may not remember everything," she whispers, "but my heart does."

She opens her eyes and looks right at me, with so much tenderness that I feel my chest might burst.

"I just need a little time, to get there." She gets up from the bench and moves past me, leaving the chapel in silence, except for the cries of the bird still circling above and the constant sound of the ocean waters crashing below. I close my eyes and smile, holding back the tears that threaten to fall.

 Her heart remembers us.