I'm Sorry

10. Secrets

Previously in I'm Sorry....

Hey Em.
Sorry. I know I said I'd still be here, but I couldn't be left alone with my thoughts.
As for this coat, keep it safe for me, will you? I want it to make it off of this mountain.
I'm really sorry. The guilt was just too much.

With Love, Ashley (haha references)

Mike had been way over his drink limit, so he didn't really remember who initiated it, but he did remember how good it felt. He remembered the butterflies in his stomach. He remembered being confused about said butterflies because he was Michael Munroe. Michale Munroe does not get butterflies.

The days after that, Sam didn't talk to Mike. He didn't know why. Upset at his loss and yearning to replace that feeling he got with Sam, he started going out with Jess. Mike has liked Sam ever since.

But now she was dead.

And Mike couldn't bring her back.

Beth's POV
Beth stared at the simmering fire in front of her. She listened to Mike and Emily's cries from the other room. She would kill them all, and she would do it tonight.

Beth had no idea what had happened. It was as if her mind and flipped a switch and somehow made her a psychopath. She felt no remorse over the deaths of her so-called friends, and she had no idea why. All she felt was confusion. She was confused over this not-feeling thing. Those were her best friends. And she had killed them. Well, indirectly killed them, but same thing.

Beth had been the quiet one in the group. Emily, Jess, and Mike kept everything loud enough. So most of the people in the group trusted their secrets with her. Not just stupid little secrets, but the deep, dark ones. Beth had been told outlandish tales that she wasn't even sure were real. But she would use each and every one to their advantage.

Once the group first got together, Sam and Beth had instantly hit it off. Sam told Beth her secret. She was bi. She said that last year, she had had the biggest crush on Ashley, but knew she didn't feel the same, so she didn't go for it. The next year, though, Sam would go on and on about Mike. Beth warned her over and over that he wasn't a smart choice. But Sam didn't care.

Beth could only guess what had happened between the two while she was missing. She knew for a fact though, that something had definitely happened between them. They looked at each-other in a way different than Beth has ever seen any one look at one another.

The next person Beth had hit it off with was Ashley. Ashley actually wasn't one for secrets. In most situations, she was pretty trustworthy. Ashley's secret was simply that she had a giant crush on Chris. This wasn't the normal butterflies thing, this girl was head-over-heels for him. Beth had told Ash to make a move, since it was obvious that Chris liked her back, but Ashley refused to believe it.

Beth knew that over the past year, the two had probably grown especially close. That's the only way for the two to still be crushing. Otherwise, they would've moved on. If Beth cared, she would've thought they'd be a cute couple. But she didn't.

Surprisingly, Beth became friends with Emily next. Even though the two were friends, she was always secretive and didn't like to speak thoughtfully of herself. Sure, she would call herself pretty, but she never liked to speak what she truly thought about things. What she truly thought of her surroundings. That's until the one day Beth caught Emily in her room sobbing. Apparently, her dad had left her family about three years prior, and she still hadn't gotten over it. Emily didn't ever tell anyone she was sad.

Mike's secret had intrigued Beth the most. He had told her that he had a huge crush on Sam. When Beth asked why he was dating Emily, he zoned out for a minute. He later told her that he thought she'd help him get over Sam , since it was never going to happen with his reputation. He said he wanted to feel the way he did for Sam for Emily. Beth asked him if he did. Mike shook his head.

Jess. Jess and Emily had been the best of friends. They told each other everything. Jess never explicitly told Beth her secret, but she told her some things that went down between her and Emily. According to Jess, Emily had some nasty things to say about Beth behind her back. Those words really hurt Beth at the time, and she hadn't left her house for a week. She was only so open towards Emily in the cavern and the walk back because she was so happy to be free again.

But Beth was one to hold a grudge. She would make sure that Emily would be tortured before she was killed. This was Beth's time to exact her revenge. She would make her watch all of her friends die before she did herself. Beth was not one to forgive and forget.

After Beth had 'gotten over' Emily's betrayal, she started to talk with Matt. Matt was sort of shy when he talked to everyone in the group, compare to the way he talks to everyone else. Therefore, all he ever told Beth was that he had a crush on Emily. The only thing Beth had to do about that was laugh. She laughed for a whole minute until she noticed Matt's hurt expression. She immediately apologized and told Matt, "you don't want to get involved with her, she's a mess." Matt had never spoken to Beth the same way since.

Josh was Beth's brother. It wasn't hard to figure out what his secrets were. She learned of her brothers paranoia and psychopathic qualities around the beginning of high school. He had these certain, how you say, quirks. He loves gory video games simply because he 'loved getting attached to the characters and watching them die.' Beth knew that Josh cared for her, though, so she never worried.

Chris was such a nerd. Josh and him were basically inseparable, and Chris barely said a word to Beth for the first few months of their friendship. Beth was glad that Josh had someone that he could call a 'best friend' because he never really had any real ones over the years. Because of that, Beth liked Chris a bit more than she should've. But how could she help herself? His blue eyes were to die for, and Josh went on and on about his sense of humor. One day, Beth decided to go for it. Josh had just left the house to buy something that Beth didn't really care about, leaving Chris alone in Josh's room.

Beth didn't really remember all that was said, but she did remember trying to kiss him and him pulling away in shock. This upset her. That was supposed to be her first kiss and Chris had ruined it. Josh showed up back home and the two pretended like it hadn't happened.

Until a night at the lodge one year ago. Josh was passed out drunk. Chris was wasted himself, but not enough to be unconscious. Beth was walking through the kitchen to get with the rest of the group when Chris grabbed her arm. She looked at him, confused. He pulled her in and kissed her.

Again, Beth couldn't remember all of the details. She only remembered that he tasted like alcohol, and that she was completely okay with that. The two had made out for a while, and Beth could tell that Chris wasn't in to her. He was doing this because he was upset. She was completely taking advantage of him. But at that moment, her own selfish wishes crushed those for helping Chris. The two ended up doing each other on the kitchen floor.

Chris hadn't revealed his secret to Beth until they were talking earlier, when she was still nice after she came back from the mines.
"Beth, you can't tell anyone about last year."
"Why?"
"I liked...loved Ashley then! She might stop dating me because she'll think I'll cheat!"
"Why did you do it then?"
"I didn't do it. You did."
"Why didn't you ask me to stop?"
"Because I was sad. I had walked out into the main room for one second to see Ash and and Mike kissing in the lounge. I was drunk, so I overreacted, but..."
"Fine. Your secret is safe with me."

Beth knew that Chris had to be the first to go. And he'd go with a bang after all he had done to hurt her. Ashley was supposed to go next, but Sam had to go and be her heroic self, which unsurprisingly led to her demise. This aggravated Beth a bit, but she knew the guilt would be too much for poor little Ash to handle. She figured she had just killed two birds with one stone.

Beth stared at the fire, admiring the sparks as they flew only to burn out in midair. No one ever seems to think of that when they use it as a metaphor for love.

Beth thought of Hannah. She desperately wanted to see her sister again. The only things in her way were sitting in the room down the hall. And Beth knew that she would get rid of them.