Do you even care? //yoonmin

0.2

After that encounter with Jimin, I knew he would be suspicious of things so I decided not to skip dinner or else he would find out I was skipping meals too. It's not like he was concerned anyways, but I should still be cautious because then they would hate me more than they already did.

I still don't see how I'm still in this group. Jin is the oldest and is like the mother of the group so we need him, Namjoon is obviously the leader and the best rapper and way better than me, J-Hope is the best dancer and is filled with energy, Jungkook is of course good at everything so we can't let him out of the group, and then there's Taehyung who is good at dancing and has a soothing low voice when he sings. And lastly, Jimin who is great at singing, dancing, being cute, having a great smile, and those abs too.

I am nothing compared to those six. Sure, I produce some songs but that's the only way I contribute to the team. My dancing is horrible, I seem to have a lisp or something when I rap, and I barely have the energy to keep up with them. The only thing that is keeping me in the group is they say I represent a certain image they need of carelessness and cuteness. What does that even mean? Can't I just be myself instead of representing some image I don't want to be? I mean I go with it anyways because if I didn't, I would probably be kicked off instantly.

I made my way to the kitchen and saw Jin finishing up making a meal. No one else was in the kitchen yet so I decided to start a conversation with Jin even though I was nervous because what if Jimin found it and told Jin... What if Jin gets mad at me for slacking... What if he hates the fact that I-

"Hey, Yoongi," he spoke interrupting my thoughts. Well to late now.

"H-hey Jin," why the stutter Yoongi, why?

"Calm down, it's just me," Jin chuckled. "I'm sorry we were harsh on you earlier, I guess we just got frustrated," He continued to mix ingredients together while I looked down avoiding eye contact.

"No, you have every right to be mad. It's my fault for not practicing hard enough," I spoke. By now the other members began entering the room and my conversation with Jin dropped.

"Dinner is ready!" Jin sang out and set out bowls in front of each of us. There were two expressions going on around the table. One was filled with joy, and the other one frustration. I continued to not make eye contact and only focus on the food in front of me.

I picked up my chopsticks and began whirling the soup around with them. I didn't think I would be able to eat this until I caught Jimin looking at me with some concern. I quickly picked up the noodles with my chopsticks and took a bite. The noodles tickled my throat as they went down and I felt sick once it hit my stomach. I haven't eaten since yesterday's lunch when Jin made a big meal and I was able to put down some rice. Jimin looked away and began eating his
food which made me relieved.

I stood up and took my bowl still filled with noodles and put it into the sink.

"Are you not going to finish your food?" Jungkook spoke out. I froze in place. I thought they weren't paying attention.

"I don't feel very well, I think it's from practicing a lot after you told me to work harder, I'm going to bed. Thanks for the meal, Jin," I managed to speak out without hesitation. They didn't seem to notice me lying and continued to slurp away at their noodles.

I went back to my room and crashed on my bed, once again. I buried my face into my pillow and tried my hardest not to cry. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.

•••
I promise it will start getting interesting soon, but every sorry needs introduction chapters am I right? Heheh.

ALSO IT HURTS LIKE HELL TO WRITE THIS, Yoongi isn't any of the horrible things he makes himself out to be and he matters so much I'm not sATaN I SwEaR