converted.

Maybe Next Time

Story: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1155056

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December in England is one of the coldest, rainiest months of the year. Most tend to stay inside, cuddled up in blankets on the couch with their loved ones as they watch cheesy Christmas movies and sip at hot tea. The snow falling outside creates the perfect setting for all of those couples, giving them a movie-worthy background. But, then there are the people that just can’t keep a serious relationship so they're typically alone during this month. Those are the people that walk around England at 10 when it's dark and the safety of the streets is questionable as if they actually have somewhere to go. Unfortunately for her, Jade is one of those people.

She walks around at the same time every night, like it's her own special tradition. It isn’t a tradition she means to keep up. It seems that every December, Jade is single even if she had a nice relationship in the month before just like she did this year; she and her boyfriend had broken up two days before December 1st, which is just ridiculous. Every year, she's alone on December, and every year she walks around town every night at the same time with her hands in her coat pockets and her head down. If she had someone to go home to still, maybe she'd be one of those couples cuddling on the couch and wishing time would stand still. But now Jade just wishes the month would end.

One particularly cold night in December, Jade pulls on her coat and starts her walk; it's the same thing she's done every night since December descended upon England. She pushes his hands deep into her pockets, drops her head a little, and watches her feet move one step at a time toward nowhere. There are a few Christmas lights around her block, and the colors bounce off the crystals of snow covering the pavement. Jade rounds the corner of her block, dodging a person going in the opposite direction; the man on the phone was promising the person on the other line that he would be home soon and that, yes, he got the wine she wanted. He's one of those couples, Jade is sure. She's still kind of mourning over all those lost months he spent with her ungrateful boyfriend, who, in the end, told her she was clingy and that he "just needs some space to figure out herself," so he left and she hasn't heard from her since.

It's when light suddenly lands on her damp shoes that Jade lifts her head completely, blinking rapidly at the sudden brightness. Her breath puffs out in little white clouds right before her eyes, proving just how cold it is tonight. She stops walking completely and turns to find that a cafe is open, all the lights cut on and a roaring fire inside. Every other shop and restaurant on the street is closed by now, everyone having someone to get home to, everyone preferring their home; Jade wonders what that feels like. This cafe has been closed down because of management issues for the past three years, Jade remembers, but apparently those issues have been solved because there are about ten people inside tonight. Some of those couples that should be at home are instead curled up on the same side of booths with mugs in their hands and some kind of dessert sitting on the table in front of them; Jade notices that those people seem to be locked in intense gazes and she wonders if that ever gets uncomfortable or awkward.

“Hi!” a voice makes Jade snap her eyes from the windows to the front door. She's shocked to find a girl standing behind the glass, looking at her expectantly with a nice smile on her equally nice face. Jade studies her closely.

She takes in the girl’s quite curly dirty blonde hair that's messily made up on her head in a weirdly lovely way, falling in a way that frames her easy jaw and smooth cheekbones. Sparkling sapphire eyes stare back at her; she looks almost eager in a way Jade would expect to see in the eyes of a child. She continues to take in the girl’s extremely worn out boots, her dark blue sweater that matches the blue beanie comforting her head from the cold, and her skin-tight black jeans; her legs are endless. Something stirs in Jade’s stomach, throwing her off and making her speechless for a second. She hasn't felt such things since the time she hooked up with another girl at her prom; it was the first girl she was ever technically "with". She'd gotten with the girl right after her first serious boyfriend dumped her; his excuse was that he caught Jade checking out other girls and guys and she wasn't "comfortable" in the relationship anymore. So, in an angry retaliation, Jade had followed her attractive girl classmate behind the bleachers; that was the first time she ever gave someone an orgasm, but the girl seemed to enjoy it. You would think Jade would've learned of her sexuality after that, but she never focused on it, too scared to face that reality.