*Jhene
"Well it was about 4 weeks ago when my mom died. I did...a bad thing...a really bad thing. Ryan and I was fighting left and right my moms and I was fighting left and right, and believe it or not I just really started having a relationship with my dad when my mom died." I said feeling tears burn the back of my eyes.
Chris rubbed my back like I did for him moments ago.
"And uh I was walking home from this big fight with Ryan, my mom called me cursing me out about needing to grow up and to getting home so instead of asking for a ride I walked. While I was walking this crazy dude was standing at the bottom of the street. Walking past him and not paying him any mind he followed me. So I asked him what he wanted and he replied with what I wanted. Anything I wanted he could make that happen so I wished for love and in return he asked for my soul...I really didn't believe in that type of stuff, so I agreed. For the fist couple of day things were great my mother and I were very happy, smiling, joking like nothing never happened and that she wasn't sick. Ryan and I was in love making future plans meanwhile my dad came and visited and we were even cool." I smiled a little remembering those times.
"..Then one day I got called to the office to receive news that my mom died. But not because of her bad heath but because she was hit by a car! I was crushed, then I found out that I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do. I told Ryan and we both agreed that we couldn't take care of a baby so we should give it up...but I didn't want to." I cried
"I didn't want to Chris, but I didn't have a choice. So I carried a baby for 9 months that I couldn't have. She was beautiful. Hearing her screams as I held her placed me in the mind set that, that her, she was the reason I was placed on this earth...and I just gave her up like that." My tears blocked my vision
"Jhene you did the right thing babe." Chris rocked my back and forth
"Did I? Did I really? Chris I would give anything in life right now to hold my daughter." I yelled
"Shhh! I know babe, I know." He pulled me into him even more. It felt like I was having a melt down. I never told anyone this before.
"What about the guy? Did anybody find him?" Chris asked
"No! He was just selling dreams and I was dumb enough to buy one." I shook my head.
"What about Ryan?" He asked
"What about him? He acts like he didn't just make a child and give her up a day after she was brought into this world." I moved my shoulders up and down.
He shook his head flexing his jaw
"Namiko." I mumbled
"Huh?" He asked picking my head up
"Her name was Namiko Love." I smiled undoing his jacket that fit hugely on my body to show him the tattoo I got of her name and foot print on my stomach
He rubbed the red printed ART.
"It's beautiful." He mumbled
"Just like her." I smiled
"Do you know her foster parents?" He asked
"Yeah they live in San Fran." I mumbled
"You know that's not that far?" He asked
"Yeah like 2 hours. And what would I do show up at their door and say hi remember me? I gave you my daughter when I was 17 I would like her back now?" I asked him
"No, but maybe they'll let you see her." He pointed out
"I don't want to. I don't want her to be ashamed of me. And knowing that when I die I gave up a gift from god, and not i have go work for the devil because I sold my soul." I shook my head
"That little girl will love you Jhene ain't no way around it. Stop beating yourself up." Chris helped me up
"Doesn't matter. I would like to go now." I replied
"Home?" He asked
"No your house." I replied
"But Kristen and Seiko at your house. Yo pops ain't gone be hot about you not coming home?" He asked
"He not gone care." I said
"Alright come on then." He guided me out this hell hole by my waist
*Chris
I looked at her as she sleep peacefully. I took the keys out unlocking the door getting out making it over to her side. Picking her up I kicked the door closed and made my way to the front door where I knocked.
"Christopher?" Mama asked opening the door gripped her robe
"Look out ma!" I said walking pass her
"What's wrong with Jhene?!" She asked in a tone I couldn't pick up on. She looked really REALLY worried
"Nothing just a long day." I mumbled
"She looks sick, like something is bothering her. Look how she looks in her sleep." Mama pointed out
In fact Jhene did look restless, like worried even in her sleep..I bet that stuff hunts her every night that's probably why she's always up through the night until the early morning.
"Jhene honey?" Mama shook her as I said her on the sofa
"Yes mommy" she said with her eyes still closed
"Wake up baby." Mama cooed, Jhene opened her glossy eyes looking at mama
"Yes?" She asked
"Are you okay? You seem like something is deep on your mind honey." Mama sat next to her
"Uh can I tell you later..it's a lot." Jhene asked
"Of course honey. Chris go get this baby something to sleep in." Mama put me to work
I kissed my lips when ever Jhene around mama always put me to work
"Boy!" She said making that beautiful smile appear on Jhene's face
"I'm going, I'm going!" I replied going to my room to grab Jhene a shirt and pair of basketball shorts. Walking back up stairs mama was talking to Nea about something.
"Huh!" I handed it to Jhene
"Come on baby." Mama said talking to Jhene standing up
"Where y'all going?" I cocked an eyebrow up
"To sleep in my bed." Mama replied
"That ain't fair!" I threw a fit
"Oh hush up boy you can come." Mama waved her hands in a dismissive manor
"YAS!" I threw my hands up jogging back down stair to undress and change into something more comfortable.
When I came back up to mama room Jhene was laying next to mama while she rubbed her back soothing her
"Come here son." Mama smiled at me
I turned off the big light and climbed next to my mama and girl as we all shared one big bed. Two of my most important woman in my life with me..life couldn't get any better.
