“Make your anger so expensive that no one can afford it and make your happiness so cheap that people can almost get it free”
********
*Jhene Harris
“Jhene can you hand me that textbook?” Seiko asked
I heard her loud and clear, but my vision was focused on Chris as he sat around his friends. It’s been a few days since the whole fair thing, and I haven’t talked to him yet. I know I was suppose to face my problem with him head on, but he was making it hard. He made everything hard.
“Jhene! Jhene!” Seiko snapped her fingers in my face.
“Huh?” I closed my mouth looking at her ‘what’s wrong’ face.
“Why don’t you just go talk to him?” She asked following my gaze, which was on Chris.
“Because we’re not ready to talk.” I said simply closing my locker and grabbing my bookbag.
“You’re not ready or y’all not ready?” She asked smartly making me look at her for a moment.
“Look, I don’t wanna talk to him and he not take it serious and I end up with a broken heart and he ends up with a broken leg.” I said making her laugh and link her arm with mine.
“Well hurry up before things get worse between y’all.” She said walking me to my first hour which happened to be a class with the devil.
Taking a seat in the middle where I normally sit I pulled out my notebook and pink pen copying the warm-up.
Pretty soon Chris and the rest of the ‘get fresh crew’ came in too.
“Wassup Jhene.” Mijo waved
I found it funny how normally he’s always under me sniffing my butt, but all I get is wassup.
“Hi you doing Mijo?” I asked nicely
Kill them with your kindness. People don’t know how to react when you give them nothing to react off of.
“I’m fine.” He replied taking his seat
“That’s good.” I nodded smiling then returning back to my notes.
Hearing Chris loud laughs I kept my focus on my work.
Hearing my phone ring just as loud as Chris laugh I check the caller ID, and instantly felt confused.
Ryan.
I haven’t talk to him in a while so as to what I did to deserve this call was making me feel some type of way.
Pressing the ‘answer’ button I pressed the cold phone to my face.
“Hello?” I asked knowing for a fact that my voice was shaky
“Yo...Jhene?” He asked
“Yes…” I trailed off
“I gotta tell you something.” He said making me take the phone away from my ear and look at it
“What is it!” I pressed
“I’m in L.A” He said
“WHAT!” I said loudly making everyone look at me including Chris and the females around him.
“I need to see you, I gotta make things right between us and I can’t do that when you’re thousands miles away.” He said
“Why.” Was the only question
“Cause I love you.” He said
“Stop, you’re just talking.” I said feeling tears burn the back of my eyes.
“I’m not. You know I got nothing but love for you.” He said
No longer able to be contain myself I stormed out the classroom. Everything was happening too fast for me.
“Okay Ryan, what do you want? For real this time.” I asked once I was a few doors down from the class.
“I want to talk to you...about everything. I know I did some messed up stuff, and that was me just being young and dumb but I know I missed out on the best thing when you left. I want it back.” He said
Shaking my head as if he could see me I placed a hand to my forehead.
“You can’t just dump things on me like this Ry and then think I’m just gonna go with you like nothing happened.” I said
“I know, but I just needed to get it off my chest. You don’t have to understand it but you gotta respect it.” He said
“I get it.” I mumbled
“But I’m staying at a hotel, I just needed to let you know that I was here and I planned on seeing you.” He said
“Ok.” I said
“Just let me know when you’re free.” He said
“Will do. And thank you for being upfront with me.” I said honestly.
“No problem. I love you.” He said making me feel safe like I once did.
“Love you too.” I finally said back a few moments of later. Hanging up quickly I pressed my back to the wall.
“You still love him?” I heard a voice asked...but I knew who it belonged too.
“Huh?” I asked although I heard him like I heard Seiko loud and clear.
“You still love him.” He stated more to himself
“Be honest.” He pointed once he seen my face
“Honestly I will always love him, but no I’m not in love with him. I’m focused on me right now.” I said ‘honestly’
“You focusing on you?” He asked standing next to me
“Yeah. I thought I was ready, but you showed me that I wasn’t.” I said pointing
“Me?” He asked
“Yeah. This whole miscommunication thing just showed me that I needed to work on a lot of things, and before I could be serious with anyone I need to know what I want and what I bring to the table.” I said making him nob.
“So what this means with us?” He asked
“I don’t know, you tell me.” I said
“I don’t want no one else, and I need just as much work as you do. Maybe we can do it together.” He pleaded with his eyes
“I would like that.” I said
“Only if you really done with dude. Only if it’s just gonna be me and you.” He said seriously.
“Only me and you.” I said
“Thank you.” He wrapped his arms around my waist bring me closer to his warm body.
“Only if you promise not to hurt me Chris.” I said searching his deep brown eyes
“I promise.” He said bring his plump lips to meet mine.
Here I was fully trusting someone beside Ryan. I just hope nothing backfires, because I’m tired of being afraid to love.
*******
> Jhene and Chris are in the sidebar (thingy)
> Sorry it took so long for me to update. Let me know what else you guys wanna see me update. Send me some love.
Love, Kieshanna :)
