I Hate You, I Love You { mitch grassi }

XXXIII

We got to the skating rink and walked in. It looked like a neon nightmare.

There were small children -eight graders probably - running around. They looked berserk.

We walked to the counter, got our skates and sat down to put them on.

I finished lacing mine up and looked to Scott who certainly was struggling.

"You okay there, Scottland?" I laughed.

He groaned and looked at me. I got on the ground and crawled over to him, lacing them up," Now let's stand up."

We at least attempted to stand up, and made our way to the actual rink. I stepped onto it was was off, zooming past people at every corner. I passed him quickly.

"I thought you couldn't skate!" He yelled.

"I lied," I sped past him.

I came to a stop in front of him after going around a few times, as he watched in awe.

"C'mon, Scotty," I laughed, taking his hand and leading him out to the floor.

He stumbled, a LOT, and he also used me as a damn support system.

"Okay, this isn't gonna work," I laughed, "Stand up straight and then bend your knees a LITTLE BIT."

He did as he was told, but almost fell about 1800 times in the process

"Now, just watch me," I laughed as I put one foot in front of the other and smoothly glided across the floor.

"Why does it look so easy when you do it?" He whined.

"Calm down, babe, just give it a try," i laughed.

He looked like a baby deer learning to walk. He barely made it two feet before falling. I went over to him quickly.

"Are you okay?" I asked, kneeling down to help him up.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he groaned, propping himself up on his elbows.

"Here," I stuck my hand out for him to take, "Let's go sit down."

He took the offer and we returned to the tables.

"Can we try this again sometime when I'm actually prepared? I mean, I'm wearing skinny jeans!" He pleaded.

"Aw, poor Scottland. Being shown up by your ex but be hard," I laughed.

"Hey, calm down, now," he exclaimed.

We got our skates off and returned them and left.

"Where do you want to go, Scooter?" I asked.

"Anywhere, as long as I'm with you," he smiled, taking my hand in his as we walked along the street.

"Scotty, you know I have a boyfriend, right?" I laughed.

"But, of course. This is strictly friendship," he said.

Friendship.

The word rang through my mind. Could I just be friends with him?

Being here, and being with him, made me crave something. Some of the adventure and the adrenaline of being with him. Mitch is amazing, but he's draining. There's nothing really wow about the relationship. With Scott, there was always more to be had.

But it was something that I'll have to get used to.

Sometimes I get the feeling that I always want the other more when I can't have them. When I was with Scott, I wanted Mitch. Now that I'm with Mitch, I want Scott back.

Maybe that's the thing, but maybe I was just too anticipating with Mitch. I could've been in over my head.

But that's what it has to be.

I'm with Mitch whether anyone else likes it or not. Because, at the end of the day, no matter what I feel for Scott won't ever be what I feel for Mitch. He's a lifelong dream that's come true, and Scott was just a fling.

It doesn't mean I won't think about Scott or anything it just means I can't be anything with Scott. And I have to be okay with that.

"I got an idea," He smiled as he started to walk somewhere. And seeing as I was attached to him, I followed.

The journey was short, but it was a beautiful one. Every path we took held different wonders. It was a magical sight that only people who dared to delve this deep into the world would find.

We ended on the uppermost path of the the trek to find a small picnic area that overlooked the entire city. It would be a marvelous sight at night, but it was still equally as stilling in the daytime.

"It's beautiful," I said in awe, taking a seat at the furthest table to the edge.

"That makes two things," he said. Although I was focused of the scene rather than him, I felt him looking at me.

"I didn't peg you as the type to enjoy stuff like this," I turned to him.

"There's a lot you don't know, babe," he said.

I smiled, looking into his beautiful blue eyes, "I can't wait to learn it all."

We kind of just sat looking at each other for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry," I finally said.

"For what?"

"For leading you on, basically. I don't know if it's technically that, because I do love you, so much. But I 'flirt' constantly when we can't be together. And I'm sorry for putting you through that," I sighed.

"You aren't putting me through anything. I understand everything, and I'm okay with it. Of course, I have to be, but I also choose to accept it. I know how you feel, so it's okay. You have no reason to apologize," he smiled.

"I just feel like I'm betraying both you and Mitch in some way."

"You're not, believe me," he placed his hand on mine.

I noticed him leaning in slightly, and I couldn't resist the urge to go in myself and meet our lips together.

They moved in sync. In that moment, I wanted the world to freeze and trap us here.