I Hate You, I Love You { mitch grassi }

THE END

"Are you sure about this?" His voice rang into my mind.

Was I? Was I really sure about this? He'd been on my mind constantly for weeks but I still wasn't very sure.

I took a long deep breath, "Yes? No? I honestly don't know. But I know I need this and I need you. You were the first person I called so I'm pretty sure that means something."

"Cressida, calm down. I can hear the stress and panic in your voice. Just breathe, okay?"

I nodded my head until I realized he couldn't see me.

"Okay," I said quickly.

"Take this one step at a time," he said quietly, "Whats your name?"

"Cressida."

"Where are you?"

"I'm at my cafe."

"Where do you live?"

"Los Angeles."

"How are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm not great, honestly. I'm so confused and conflicted and I just don't know," I said.

"I love you a lot, Cressida."

"I love you too."

***

I walked back to the house and sat on the couch, avoiding everyone until Avi arrived. Kirstie, Mitch, and Scott were all there, and Avi and Kevin dropped by.

Avi sat directly beside me.

"Just breathe, Loser," he said, running his hand through the ends of my hair.

"Shut up, lumberjack. I'm just trying to figure all of this out and I can't."

"It's okay, you'll get it. I'm gonna go raid their fridge, want anything?" He asked, getting up.

"Bring me any kind of chocolate."

He laughed and went off.

I sat, staring directly into the fireplace waiting for him to return.

I saw him peak around the corner with loads of food in his arms.

"I knew you'd want more than chocolate," he sat it all on the table in front of us, "So I got pizza, a shit ton of cheese, a bunch of fruits, some Chinese from the other night, and of course, chocolate."

I laughed, "My hero."

"Hey, listen," he started as he sat down and bit into a piece of pizza, "Don't rush this. Pick who you think you would be happy with. Pick the man you could see raising your children when you grow up. Pick your fairytale."

"Fairy tales don't exist," i said.

"Then create one. Make your own fairytale. Create your own happy ending."

"What happens after that?"

"Well, that's up to you to decide."

We sat eating for a minute or two.

"Hey, Avi?" I said quietly.

"Hmm?" He turned on the XBox and began playing some strange game. It was all I'm French so I guess it was some weird foreign game that one of the guys had.

"Thank you."

"You're very welcome, little hedgehog," he smiled.

I laid my head down on his shoulder.

He gave me a lot to think about. Would I rather be happy or be debating the entire relationship? I knew which way to go mentally, but my heart didn't know. I would be alright with either, and I love both of them so much, but there was an obvious answer here.