Think Lovely Thoughts

Eleven

LA, USA
April 20th
Miley's POV

"Liam, we need to start planning this wedding, it isn't gonna plan itself." I say to Liam, sitting at my table with a notebook and pen. "Would you please stop watching basketball and help me?"

"Fine, sorry." Then he walks over to me and sits next to me. "Whatcha wanna plan?"

"How about your best man and groomsmen while I think of my maid of honor and bridesmaids?" I suggest, then he nods.

"I was thinking Chris for my best man. Then Luke, Jake, and Logan for my groomsmen." He says. Chris and Luke were his brothers but Jake and Logan were his friends. "What about you?"

"I hate picking between Noah and Brandi. They're my sisters, I can't choose between them."

"You either gotta pick one or neither and have someone else be your maid of honor, Miley."

"I know, I know. It's just hard. I mean, wasn't it hard for you to pick between your brothers?" I reply.

"Yeah, of course it was. But I just decided on picking Chris. You'll figure it out. Wanna work on something different?"

"No Liam, I need to decide on this now." Then I sigh. Who should I pick? "I- I think I'm gonna pick Noah. I mean, Brandi is amazing and I love her, but Noah has been there for me like, a lot. I mean Brandi has too but Noah is always here. And she was helping you find me. Brandi was worried and everything too, but. Well. I don't know, I'm just picking Noah."

"What about your bridesmaids?" Liam asks, then I groan.

"Brandi, Katie, and Molly." Katie and Molly were my two closest friends. Katy, my other friend, is pretty close to me too but Katie and Molly were closer.

"Oh cool. We should pick a ring bearer and a flower girl. But I don't know anyone with little kids."

"I do. My friend Jessie has a little 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl. They'll be perfect." I say. then smile.

"What are their names?" He asks.

"I think the boy's name is Ethan and the girl's name is Ericka. They'll be perfect for it. Besides, I don't know anyone else that would let their kids do it."

"You should call or text Jessie and ask her." Then I nod and take out my phone to text Jessie.

"She said they can do it." I say, putting my phone down on my table."

"Sweet. Now what should we decide on?" Liam asks.

"Colors." Then he nods. "What was in your mind?"

"Well I definitely want blue cause it's  favorite color."

"And I want either purple, green, or pink. What would go best?"

"Probably purple. Purple and blue? How's that?" I smile and nod in satisfaction.

"Yeah, perfect! Ooh, I was thinking of having a white vegan cake, are you cool with that?"

"Of course. I think I'm gonna pick out a tux and the best man and groomsmen tuxes tomorrow. When are you picking out your dress and everyone else's?"

"You shouldn't need to know when I'm picking out my dress. But I'll probably pick out everyone else's either tomorrow or the next day. I'm not doing anything I don't think. Have fun with the tux shopping."

"Have fun with the dress shopping." Then I smile. This is really happening.

"Well, most of it's figured out. We just need to figure out the rehursal, photographers, bands, florists, caterers, guests, who the officiant will be, the music where to have it, when, and the honeymoon." Then he kisses me.

"Well I know what we're gonna be doing on the honeymoon." Then he goes in for another kiss, but I stop him.

"Your sex drive is very strong lately."

"And seriously? That's most of it "figured out"? We barely made a dent in planning the wedding."

"Hey, I think we made a good dent considering it's only been a day." Then he sighs.

"Okay. Well, it's almost 9:00, I think we should settle down. We've been at this for almost an hour. I wanna spend some time with you before we fall asleep."

"I know, I just wanna get it over with and fucking marry your ass already." Then I kiss him, and he kisses me back.

"I know baby, I wanna marry you too. I just figured you'd wanna marry more than my ass." He jokes, then I sigh and get up, then walk over to my couch.

"Miles, I was kidding."

"No, it isn't that." I sit on my couch, and rest my head on Liam's legs.

"Then what is it Miley?"

"I just...I want a baby, but I want to go on tour too."

"Do both."

"I am, I just wanna have the baby soon. Like soon soon."

"You mean like now soon?" Liam asks.

"Yeah. I just...one: I don't know if I'm ready. Two: I wanna go on my tour. Three: I can't postpone the tour cause once I have that baby I'll wanna be with it 24/7. Four: I don't wanna cancel the tour, fans will be waiting for the tour once the album comes out. Five: I don't know if you're even ready."

"But Miley, I am."

"Are you? Are you really? Because I'm not even sure if I'm ready. I keep saying I am but the more we talk about it the more I doubt myself. I can't have a baby. Besides, do you really think it's gonna happen? We've been trying for weeks until we stopped and it never happened."

"I don't think we were trying hard enough in my opinion. And why can't you just get pregnant then go on tour?"

"Because I don't wanna risk going too hard and losing the baby like Michael Joshua. I can't lose another baby Liam...I- I can't go through that again." I say, tearing up.

"Shh, Miley. It's okay. I know you can't go through that again." He says, rubbing my back. "I know it was hard for you. I don't know exactly how you felt but I have a pretty good idea. It must've been hell. I don't ever wanna go through it, losing my own baby. I felt how lifeless he was."

"Can we- can we stop talking about...him?"

"Of course baby. Anything you want."

"Liam..." Then I take a deep breath. "I...I think I know what I wanna do."

"What's that?"

"I wanna wait." I say. I wanna wait but I don't. I just think it's a better idea to wait than to not. I don't wanna lose another baby. I don't know for sure if it was because of how I was on tour, or if it was because of my drinking, or what. All I know is I don't ever wanna go through it again, or put Liam through it. I know how upset he was for me, I don't want him to lose his own son or daughter. I think it's best that we get married, I release my album, go on tour, then  have a baby. Right?