Wake the Dead

chapter 15

The next morning it had been decided that Shane, Andrea, and I would head down into the suburbs to search the area for Sophia. I finally was able to go and look for Sophia, I needed to find her.. I would find her. Plus, maybe one of the houses have a pregnancy test in them.

The main concern was Sophia though. I wanted to find that little girl and tell her its going to be okay, because that's all I wanted when I was a kid with an abusive dad. I wanted to know that my dad would stop and that my family would be okay. I want to tell Sophia that her mom will be okay, her dad is gone now, but she was out of my reach.

We were going to leave in about an hour, but I was so anxious and nervous I was trying so hard to occupy my mind. I had ate a granola bar after my stomach settled down (I threw up again this morning) and then took everything out of my bag, cleaned it, and the put everything back in all nice and organized. 

I still had a lot of time to kill, so I grabbed my knives and headed over to a tree not so far away from the camp. I felt Daryl's gaze on me the whole way over, I normally by now would have confronted him about how much he's pissing me off, but my mind was going crazy, and I just needed to be alone.

I walked over to the tree and carved a big circle with an X inside right on it. I stepped back a few yards and started to fling my knives at the tree, trying to hit closest to the X as possible. I threw the knives with anger; anger at myself for being so stupid and getting a pregnancy scare, anger that Sophia had to go through what she did, anger at Daryl for being Daryl, and anger at the fact that I have feelings for Daryl. 

How did I let any of this happen?

I flung my last knife with as much anger as I could, and it stuck right on top of the X. I sighed and started to walk over to the tree to retrieve my knives. "Nice one. I see you still have real good aim." I heard a voice say from behind the tree. 

I looked around and saw Syd walking over to me with a worried look on her face. I just continued over to the tree and pulled out my knives. "Fi, what's goin on? You've been running around all morning trying to occupy your self and know you're throwin knives. I can tell when somethings up with you."

I put a knife in each of my boots and then just held the other few. "Just got a lot on my mind." 

"Fi, you can talk to me, I'm here." She said as she stepped closer to me.

I knew I could talk to her, I mean she was my sister and if it was her in my situation I would want her to talk to me. "I-I just. This whole Sophia thing. I know what it's like to be her, and I just want to find her." I paused. "And..  I'm pregnant."

Syd's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "W-What? Are you sure?"

"We'll no, but I mean the signs are pretty obvious. I'm gona look for a test when we go into the neighborhood later." My voice was shaky, this was so bad.

Syd sensed the fear in my voice and wrapped her arms around me. "I can't have a baby Syd. I can't bring one into this cruel world, I mean look what happened to Sophia." I paused. "I can't be a mom."

"We're not even 100% sure you're pregnant anyways. And it will be okay. We've got a safe place right now, and a doctor. And you'll be just fine as a mom, I know you will." She broke away from the mom as she realized something. "Who's the dad?"

I looked down at my feet and the back up at her. "Daryl." I said cautiously. She nodded her head in understanding. "Lets head back." I told her as I walked away, but then stopped and turned around to look at her. "I love you, Syd."

"Love you, too." She said as she caught up with me and we started walking back. "Wait, so does that mean the night at the C.D.C. you did stay with Daryl?" She said with a goofy smile on her face.