Wake the Dead

chapter 49

"You goin out tonight?" Syd asked as she sat down on my bed while I dug through my closet. 

"Yep." Was all I said, my voice sounding void of all emotion, unable to say in words how I really felt. Anger, guilt, sadness, pain, and hatred filled up my mind bringing me down to that 'dark place' as Syd called it. 

I can't remember the last time I actually went to a full day of school since Emily... Instead, I would go out, party, drink, maybe even have sex, and get high until everything went away... Every emotion.

I had a routine for leaving the house without my dad noticing and keeping Syd safe at the same from him at the same time. And right now my routine was taking its course as I found my leather jacket in my closet and slid it on. "You should stay home." Syd pleaded as I slipped on my converse. My shoes didn't really match with the tight skirt and fancy-ish shirt I was wearing, but who has the money to buy fancy heels anymore? Certainly not me.

Her pleas sounded like Trey's when he would constantly try to tame me, but I would just push him off. He eventually got fed up with me and I haven't talked to him in weeks. Good, he deserves better than to have me as his best friend, always dragging him down.

"I'll be back when you wake up in the morning." I said as I walked over to my window and slid it open. Syd always slept in my room when I was gone and put my desk in front of the door so our dad couldn't get in if he figured everything out.. I looked back at Syd one more time before I climbed out of the window and jumped down. I had learned to perfect my landing so I no longer had to worry about spraining my ankle or something.

I stuck my hands in the pockets of my coat and quickly snuck over behind my neighbors house and then out in front onto the streets. I looked back at my house to make sure everything was normal and let out a breath of relief when I saw Syd shut the window and turn off the lights of my room. 

I turned back around and started to walk down to Craig's, it was Friday night so that meant he was hosting. I walked down the road aways, maybe a mile or so, but stopped when I passed Emily's house. This seemed to become part of the routine too, no matter how much I didn't want it to be, I always seemed to stop here everyday.

I saw that all the lights were off in the house besides the TV that I could see shining through the window. I looked up and saw Emily's room in the far, upper left corner of the house. A flood of memories washed over my mind as I looked up at her window. The memories started out good, but then the faded into the horrific ones that occurred last with her... Us yelling at each other, me storming out, and then when I came back the next day and I found her...

I felt myself start to shake and I quickly turned away from the house and started going off towards Criag's again.. I need a release from the emotions clouding my head. 

I finally made it over to the house and could hear the music pumping as I walked up the lawn. Craig was standing by the door with a big drunk smile as he saw me. "DAFT!!" He cheered out and reached his arms out as I came over, putting one around my shoulder and walking inside with me. 

As I got in I heard a few other girls and guys call out my last name, I think they only use my first when they are completely sober. I waved at them, but didn't stop to say hi because I was pulled into the kitchen by Craig. He threw open the door and kept his arms in the air as he yelled out to the guys that were in there. 

"Ah if it isn't little miss Daft." I heard a familiar voice slur out. I walked over and sat across the counter from Merle, next to Blake. "You bet your balls it is." I said as I grabbed Blake's beer and finished it off, causing him to playfully punch me in the shoulder.