Wake the Dead

chapter 46

The cries of little ass kicker made me slowly start to come out of my deep sleep. I was curled up weirdly at Daryl's side and my head had rested on his shoulder while his leaned against the wall. He was slowly starting to wake up, so I reached down and grabbed little ass kicker from him. I held her tight with my good arm while I shifted off of the bed.

I stood up and then watched Daryl as he rubbed his eyes and then grabbed his crossbow as he stood up. His sleepy eyes and messed up hair made him look almost as cute as the baby, but as he stretched out, he looked more hot than cute.

I walked out of the cell and went down the stairs to meet the others that were sitting at a table. Carl saw us coming and immediately stood up to take his sister from me. I carefully handed her over and watched how Carl adored her. 

"Rick back yet?" I asked, looking around the group, receiving multiple people to shake their heads no. "I'm gona go find him." I said as I checked the ammo in my gun and then made sure my knife was with me. I then walked over to the table with all the weapons on it and grabbed a flashlight.

"Ya ain't goin out there alone." Daryl said, stepping from behind me.

"Yes, I am. I need to talk to Rick; help him. I'll be fine." I said as I walked towards the cell block gate, Daryl following behind me with the keys. I turned around and waited for him to unlock the door, but he just looked at me. "Ya be quick an' don't do nothin stupid." He said as he reached over and unlocked the doors.

I stepped out and then turned to face him again when he shut the gate. "Don't worry too much, Dixon." I said jokingly as I pulled out my knife and made my way deeper into the prison. 

I turned on my flashlight as I made my way down the dark hallways for what felt like the thousandth time in the past few days. I saw multiple dead walker bodies on my way that Rick must have taken his emotions out on.

I aimed my flashlight down the hallway I had just turned on to and noticed that the door to the room we took Lori into yesterday was opened slightly. My best guess was that Rick was in there. 

I slowly pushed open the door and looked around, surprised to see that Lori's body was completely gone. I walked down the stairs and saw a trail of blood, and then a dead walker with a full stomach... I gagged at the sight and couldn't believe what I saw. It fucking ate her.. all of her. 

I pushed it to the back of my mind as I silently made my way deeper into the boiler room, only worried about Rick right now. I walked past a bunch of chains and out of no where I was slammed against the nearest wall. Quickly going into survivor mode I grabbed the arm that was at my throat and bent the wrist backwards. 

I then saw the wedding ring and realized it was Rick, shit. I pushed his arm back and spun so he was now with his back against the wall. He looked at me dead in the eyes, with his dark crazed ones for a moment, but then went to take a swing at me. I quickly ducked and then with as much force as I could I shoved his body hard against the wall. "Rick! You stop this right now!" I yelled at him, but he just gave me the same look.

He shoved me off him and I stumbled backwards. He started to take steps over to me, I knew he didn't want to hurt me, he just wasn't thinking straight right now. His emotions where checking out and his mind was going numb to everything he once felt; I know what it's like. "Rick you fuckin look at me right now." I said as I took a step towards him, meeting him halfway. I put my hand on his chest to keep him from coming closer. "You see me?" I asked him as he just looked at me with those dark eyes again. "I want you to breathe, deep breaths, and look at me. And I mean really look at me." I continued as I connected my gaze with his.

"Do you remember the day we got overrun on the farm and I lost my sister?" I asked him. "Do you remember when I made my way over to you guys at the high way?" I continued to press on. "I was in the same damn state you are in right now and I remember every single one of the looks people gave me. Full of pity and fear... fear! They thought I was crazy and judged me for it." I said, still pressing my hand on his chest to prove a point. "But, I am here and I am looking right at you, not afraid, and sure as hell not judging. I'm also not going to tell you everything is going to get better because I can promise you that it is not. Look at me... do I look okay?" I searched his eyes and I felt that I was starting to get a response from him. "People are going to die, Rick, and we can't control it or ever be ready for it, but we can be strong. Be strong for the group, for Carl, and for that beautiful new born baby.... For our family!" I paused and looked at him deep in his eyes. "So I want you to breathe, deep breaths."