"Errr... I'm sorry what...?" I mumbled.
"When are you going to tell Matt you like him Jasmine? Seriously, it's so obvious I think Matt and you are the only one who don't see it!" Leah said while starting the engine.
"I don't know what you're talking about Leah..."I said and turned my head away from her.
How could it be obvious? I hadn't actually admitted I liked him until today! It couldn't be obvious! Couldn't it...?
"You know, there's nothing wrong about liking a boy" Leah told me.
"Don't you get it!? I'm not like that! I'm not like everyone! I'm like no one!!" I said and tears were building up in my eyes.
I was a freak! I could hear Matt from a distance, smell weirdly, not get injured, I had bad freaky dreams with someone in it that didn't exist and now I even thought I could hear Matt's thought!!
Something was wrong with me! Why couldn't she see that?
"Hey, don't cry sweetie..." Leah said reaching to my eyes, to wipe the tears away.
"Why can't you see it...?" I whispered "I'm not right for Matt..."
And when I said those words I could feel how true they were. I wasn't right for Matt, I wasn't right for anyone... Even if I did like Matt, I couldn't be the one for him because something was wrong with me and I didn't know what it was and it could only be bad...
"Don't say that" Leah said in a soothing voice.
I stayed silent for the rest of the ride, my eyes burning even more for trying to keep the tears in them.
"Thanks for driving me back Leah" I whispered when we reached my house.
"Anytime sweetie... Hey Jass, everything will be alright, you know that right...? You just need a good night of sleep." She told me with a half smile.
I nodded and walked towards my house.
Sure, sleeping was exactly what I needed right now...
"Hey Jasmine, mind giving me some help here?" my dad called after me.
I dropped my bag on the porch, walked back to him, and grabbed a hose.
I started to water the flower absentmindedly, my eyes not seeing the water or the flowers. I was nodding off every time I stopped moving for too long and I was completely out of it.
My mind was starting to think about things but then skipped to another subject and I found myself calculating things that didn't even make sense. It felt like when you have fever and start being delusional...
When I was finally done, I dragged my feet to the kitchen and threw the first thing I found in the microwave. I brought it in my room and it was really hard to simply climb up the stairs. I actually curled in a ball on my floor and ate whatever it was I had prepared on my side.
My body wanted to sleep, my body needed to sleep, but my mind didn't, my mind couldn't.
I almost crawled to the bathroom and then stripped out of my clothes and took a freezing shower to try to wake myself up. It actually cleared my mind a little bit, but I still needed sleep.
I should just go to sleep. What will Baron do anyway? Kill me in my dream? Why did I feel so much like he could really hurt me? It was only a dream after all!!
Loud talking downstairs brought me back from my blurry thinking.
"You can bring your things upstairs" my mom said.
