Mark My Words

Chapter 11: Home

I woke up with an overall feeling of shame and regret. I had fallen asleep with Frankie after we had hooked up. It was my second time ever doing it with anybody.

Speaking of which, let’s go off on a quick little tangent. The first time I ever had sex was with this boy in my science class in Year 11. His name was Aaron and I was convinced that he was the one I was going to fall in love with, marry, move into a mansion in Scotland, and have a ton of kids with. Unfortunately I was wrong and later discovered he was sleeping with my ex best friend, current best friend at the time and since Year 2, Kylene. It didn’t hurt me at all the first time, which was really weird considering it hurt this time with Frankie. What was different?

I quickly rolled out of the bed and threw on my clothes. I was heading for the door when I noticed Louis sound asleep in his bed. I barely had enough time to worry about whether he knew about what happened between Frankie and me. I knew Zayn was going to wake up soon, so I dashed out the door, letting it slowly close behind me. I jogged to my room and unlocked the door. Zayn was still asleep but I knew his alarm would go off soon enough. I crawled into bed disgusted with myself and pretended to be asleep.

Maybe ten minutes later I heard Zayn’s alarm blaring. I “woke up”, too. I don’t think he suspected a thing when he looked over at me and saw I was fully clothed and okay.

“Good morning,” he said to me as he let out a yawn. I yawned, too.

“Good morning.”

He rubbed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “Should I make coffee?”

“No,” I shook my head. “Tea!”

“We need some caffeine to get through today.”

“What are we doing?”

“The boys and I are putting on a show.”

“I don’t remember anything about a show. Besides, wouldn’t it be cancelled considering Liam isn’t here?”

Zayn’s jaw dropped. “Shit, I totally forgot!”

“What are you going to do, then?”

“Oh my God, I don’t know. We can’t cancel. I mean, we promised a show.” Worry filled his eyes. “We’ll make something up, like maybe he’s sick or something.”

“That will work until he comes back.” I bit my lip and prayed it would. What was One Direction with only four boys? 80%? 4/5? Incomplete! I don’t think it’d be much of a show and fans would agree, too.

“I guess I have to call an emergency meeting with the boys,” he said quickly removing his tank top and throwing on an OBEY shirt I had given him on his birthday.

“Can I come?”

He sighed and that was all he needed to say. I knew the answer. “Not this time since the topic is sort of… well I mean… you know, Liam left and you…”

I fell completely silent. Honestly there was nothing for me to say now. I finished Zayn’s choppy sentence in my head. It ended with, “are the reason for it, your romance, I mean.” And in my head Zayn was absolutely right.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back in a few minutes. Just long enough to make a plan. Then I’ll make you breakfast somehow.” He kissed my forehead and ran out the door.

The thoughts running through my head made me feel physically ill. I felt the pain in my head and feet mostly. Liam wasn’t here where he was supposed to be and it was all my fault. If I had said yes to him when he asked me out anywhere from the first or twenty-second time, where would we be now? If fate brought us back together as if it was giving me that twenty-third chance, why did he leave? Would we ever meet again? Would he then be married to Danielle living happily ever after?

My stomach flip-flopped. I ran into the bathroom, kneeled down in front of the toilet and vomited. I felt like shit. The only thing that could’ve cheered me up was Liam’s smiling face walking through the door and telling me he was all mine and I was his. Of course that would never happen, but it was a pleasant fantasy that ended well in my head.

I sat in the room staring at the wall for what felt like hours. The boys were taking a long time. How much could they possibly have to say?

Waiting made me anxious. I started biting my thumb and Liam never left my mind. I tried calling him a few times but never got an answer. For some odd reason, I decided to check his Twitter.

@Real_Liam_Payne: Guysss I have an announcement to make :) i’ll do a twitcam tomorrow at 7pm uk timeeee

One of the trending topics was “Liam’s Announcement” and the Directioners were tweeting all these crazy ideas about what he could have to say. Some thought he was going to release a song, admit he was dating one of the other boys (strange), and I saw one tweet saying he will be announcing he’s pregnant. That was the weirdest. But I knew what it was. I witnessed it in the airport.

Zayn finally came back into the room, his eyes filled with frustration and fury. “Well, let’s get out of here,” he huffed. He pulled his suitcase out from under the bed and began throwing clothes in it. His veins were visibly pulsing. “Start packing.”

"What? We’re leaving?” I asked as I picked up my purse.

“There’s nothing else for us to do here. It’s time for me to go back to Bradford.”

I stayed silent. I didn’t want to upset Zayn any further with a crazy idea or comment I had. Eventually though, on the plane back home, I had an idea.

“Zayn, where exactly is this flight landing again?” I asked.

“Erm, Leeds. Why?”

“Damn it! I have to see Liam. And personally, I think you need to have a major talk with Danielle before she does this.”

“Does what?”

I facepalmed myself. “Oh my God. Gets married! She and Liam are going to be married! Does she mean anything at all to you?”

He thought about it for a moment. “No.”

I shook my head. “Really? Danielle means nothing to you?”

“No, Jordin, don’t you remember? Eleanor. I truly fancy that girl. I’d date her. Danielle is just another one of my good stories.”

I shivered with disgust. “Well if she was just another girl, why did you call her?”

He yawned. “I’m going to sleep.” Zayn closed his eyes and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the trip. For some reason I had a feeling there was something up his sleeve.