Mark My Words

Chapter 18: Regret

Livid didn’t really describe how I felt about Zayn and how he’d treated me. I had honestly never planned to speak to him ever again. I had filled my week up with lots of time with Liam. He was the only person who could make me take my mind off of Zayn, Danielle, Eleanor, and Louis troubles. In a week we had watched some scary movies, gone laser tagging, and exchanged music. When I wasn’t with Liam, I was applying for a job that paid more than my last one.

I was applying for a job at Juicy Couture online when my phone rang. The screen lit up “Liam”. I slid to unlock and answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey babe,” he said. “How are you? How’s the job hunt coming?”

“I’m okay. Job hunt isn’t going too well, I may have to work at some high end, overly priced fashion outlet,” I commented, scrolling through the pages filled with pricy perfumes, handbags, and clothes. I would never be able to buy any of the merchandise unless I worked there and had an employee discount.

“That’s too bad, babe. Listen, I want you to come over soon. Niall is coming over and we’re going to go out to a pool and swim. It’ll be like a last summer hoorah.” I laughed at his phrasing of words.

“A party, Liam?” I stopped reading the application disclaimer and stood up, carefully pushing my laptop to the side.

“Well, yeah, there is a party tonight. At the pool. I don’t know, I thought you wouldn’t be interested in a party. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. That sounds fun. Whose party is it?” I opened my closet doors and immediately began eliminating outfit possibilities.

“Er, mine actually. You know, since my birthday is coming up in the next week,” he cleared his throat.

“I didn’t forget,” I reassured him. “It’s my brother’s birthday next week, too. I wouldn’t forget.”

“I never thought you would in a million years. You’re too smart, babe,” his voice trailed off. “Niall and I can pick you up around 4 or you can come over here at about 3:30. Whatever is easier, just let me know.”

“I will. Thanks, see you later.” I hung up the phone and looked for my bathing suit. I knew I’d brought it with me to Mexico, but where did I put it after that? Josh’s chore was to do the laundry this week, so I figured I would ask him. “Josh, have you seen my bathing suit?”

“Yeah, actually,” he reached into the laundry basket of unfolded clothes and tossed me my bikini.

“Thanks,” I caught my bathing suit and went into the bathroom. After showering and shaving, I put on the suit along with the outfit I was going to where over top of it. I was just about to start doing my makeup when I got an insane phone call.

“Hello?” I answered. No one spoke on the other line, I just heard sniffles and crying. “Who is this?”

There was a pause before an all too familiar voice on the other end said, “I hope you’re happy. I did it,” which was followed with more sniffles.

“Danielle?” I suddenly became very alarmed.

“Yes, Jordin, it’s me. I just wanted to let you know that I took care of my little situation here. And I want to let you in on a little secret. Do you think you can handle it?”

“What do you mean by ‘you took care of it’?” I was almost too afraid to hear her answer.

“Well, I got an abortion this morning. So I won’t be having a baby now. I knew it would hurt everyone to know the truth, especially Liam. I can’t really keep this to myself though. So I’m going to put this heavy load of bad news on your shoulders, and you can deal with it however you want to. But remember, peoples’ friendships and lives are at stake here.” She was driving me mad.

“You got an abortion?!” I wasn’t against abortions, but I never imagined I would know somebody who got one. “I never told you to do that. Why would you call me after this? Asking if I’m happy? This doesn’t make me feel better at all, actually.” I took a moment to breathe and decided I had to know what she was going to tell me. And inside, I was hoping it would be who the baby’s father was- or would have been.

“Niall and I had sex about three months back, a bunch of times actually,” she seemed fiendishly delighted to say it. “Liam was away, it was no big deal. Niall helped me through the loss of my grandfather, actually. He’s a very nice guy,” I waited for her to say exactly what I wanted, but didn’t want her, to say. “And he was the father.”

I didn’t hear anything after that. My ears began ringing and I dropped my phone on the ground, snapping me out of my trance-like state and alarming Josh.

“You okay?” He called.

“Just fine,” I lied. I picked my phone up off the ground and proceeded getting dressed as if nothing happened at all. I had plenty of time left before 4, so I headed over to Liam’s house. Sure enough, the two best friends were playing football in the front yard, both sweating and visibly having fun. I paused before I stepped out of the car and took time to just appreciate the two of them. “Niam”. They were clearly the best of friends, always spending time together even when they didn’t have to.  They had some special sort of bond since the X Factor, apparently.

I wanted so badly to tell Liam about Niall and Danielle’s betrayal, but I didn’t want to break up Niam. They made each other so happy. This really drove me crazy, though. If the two best friends I’ve probably ever seen can have secret scandals, what were my friends doing?

“Oh, Jordin’s here! I better get cleaned up, then,” Niall rushed inside the house. It was almost as if he knew what I knew.

Liam walked up to me, finally stepping out of my car, and gave me a hug. “I feel like you only hug me when you’re all sweaty,” I commented. He laughed at me.

“I’m sorry babe, I’ll grab a quick shower. You look beautiful.” He escorted me to the front door and we both went inside.

After another hour or so it was about 3:45 and time to go. We went to the pool party that some friends had arranged for Liam, and we had a blast. There was good music, lots of new people I got to meet, and delicious food catered by some local restaurant. The whole night, although I was with Liam, I couldn’t keep my mind off of Niall and the things he had done with his friend’s ex-girlfriend. At one point, I sort of confronted him.

He was sitting and chatting it up with some of his brother's friends when I pulled him aside. He followed me without any question. “I just wanted to let you know that I know what you’ve done. But the situation seems to have resolved itself. I won’t tell Liam, but I think you should. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I’m begging you to tell him before it’s too late.”

He gulped, unable to look straight at me. “How do you know?”

“Danielle couldn’t keep her dirty little secret. She wanted to put me in an awful position. So here I am, exactly where she wanted me. I don’t know what to do.” I was so frustrated.

“Calm down, it’ll be okay. I know what I’ve done is wrong, you don’t think I know that? I regret it all the time. Everyone has that one thing they always think about and they get mad or upset. Think about that one thing you regret. There’s nothing you can do to change it, and you learn to accept it or overcome it. You can face it and say, ‘Okay, I was a shitty friend to my best mate and got his girl pregnant’, or you can let it eat you alive. I made a decision to accept it and I am sorry.”

Immediately I thought of Liam asking me out for the first time. And the second. And the third. All the way up to twenty-two, when my answer was still “no”. Niall had a point.  I learned to live with the fact that I was a complete bitch to the most genuine boy I’ve ever met. And just like I learned to accept that, Niall did, too. His did seem more severe, however.

“I will tell him, Jordin, when the time is right.”