N O S T A L G I C (incomplete)

9- School? School

Brett is staring at me while hugging her. I want to burst into tears but I know that I am better than this, stronger than this, so I swallow hard and for the first time I react.
"Bitch stop smirking." And I smack Victoria so hard my nail makes a small incision in her cheek. She stands in front of me astounded wiping the blood away while the others gasp. Brett is secretly smiling, trying to keep his laugh in. I pick up my books from the floor and just miss Victoria's kick.
"Be careful you don't wanna break your hill by kicking my muscle." And I feel my core which is actually quite hard. Victoria just flicks her hair and walks away ordering the rest to follow and they do. I am relieved that they're gone but I know she's going to come back with something very juicy for me. Uggghh 'I cant wait' and I roll my eyes in my mind. I rest my head against my locker door and take a deep breath in. Its then that I realised that I swore for the first time. I called her a bitch. I smirk enternally and my stomach does a couple of summer salts. It kinda feels good.
*Ting* I check my phone. Its Brett. I lock my phone. Im not interested in his stories he betrayed me, he said he was going to help me but he turned against me. He used me to get to my sister. Tears start forming in my eyes. No why do I want to cry, it's not like we were dating? I run to the bathroom and shut myself in a cubical. I think of when I kissed him and i start to ball. I muffle the sound with my bag. I let it out and I feel like crying the whole day but I force myself to wipe my tears away. I walk to the basin and wash my face feeling it's cool touch. Before I walk out I make sure it doesnt look like I was crying. I give myself an approval by smiling at my reflection before heading to my first period, Math.

Ms. Abrahams is explaining a new math topic to us which I have already learnt at my extra math class so I put my head on the desk waiting for her to serve us with loads of work for talking. I close my eyes and I see Brett. I open them immediately and try to focus on what the teacher is saying but I can't. Why was I so naive to think that he would do something? My head begins to ache so I try again to focus on what we're doing. Ms Abrahams gives us our home work and I take out my books to begin. I plug my earphones in, shutting the world out letting only the beat, words and numbers in. I love doing math. Its the way I get lost in the numbers, so focused on fiding the answer or sovling for x and listening to the music that I forget. Forget about Brett and Victoria and especially Bailey. This feeling to forget is an escape, an escape from the pain of the memories that they surface in my mind, from the things that they did and said. It's a place I like to go. A place where I dont feel so little, so tiny in this vast ocean of people. It might sound strange but it's amazing how a bunch of numbers, words and musical beats give me a sort of freedom. Even if its for a little while.

I walk lazily over to my next lesson with the feels of today hitting me really hard. This particular Tuesday feels sluggish, long, worn and drawn out, like it'll never end.
I fall asleep for what seems like two hours in our Geography lesson waking up at periods end, the beginning of break. People line our wide passage ways and the hustle and bustle of everyone making their way out slows down in my mind, almost like a scene in a movie. I make my way to the window and try to open it to get air but nothing just heat strikes me as if I was in the Sahran Dessert. My head starts spinning and colourful dots on the white walls across from me start to appear. Everybody is gone now. All I see is black as my body collapses to the floor. Theres no feeling, no happenings, no sound just nothingness. Like a blank space in my life.

"Astin, Astin, Astin wake up!!!" A hesterical voice calls.
All at once all my feelings, happenings and sound -everything- comes back and thats when I register that Brett is shaking me awake. I feel I need to vomit and my stomach starts turning so I signal him to stop shaking me. He helps me up and it takes a few minutes for me to regain balance. All of a sudden a stream of pain makes its way to my head. I touch the back of my head to make sure it's not bleeding and thankfully its not. I try making my way to the bathroom using the wall as support in case I fall.
"Here let me help you." Brett tries to put my arm around his shoulder and take my bag but I refuse. I struggle to form a proper sentence.
"Not be seen with me." The others shouldnt see Brett helping me. And I continue walking slowly leaving Brett watching me disappear round the corner.