The Secrets We Keep [#justwriteit]

iv.

What you are, April, is the woman who changed me. You are the woman who made me who I am today.

I am not perfect. Fuck, I know that I am not perfect, but I have always tried to be the best version of myself for you.

I know that I mess up. I know that I am an asshole. I know that I am confusing as fuck at times. And I know that I have never made it clear what it is that I want from you, even on our wedding day, I was hesitant in making you my wife.

But, for all the mistakes I constantly make and all the pain which I cause you, I do love you. You are the one person I can be myself around, the one who broke all my walls down, and you are the one who understands me.

I have never had to pretend to be someone when I'm around you. I have never had to put a smile on my face and pretend that I am happy. I have never had to fake a laugh, or tell you that I'm completely fine when I am falling apart on the inside, and I have never had to tell you something which then turned into a lie.

I understand heartbreak better than you think I do. I understand it because, when you are hurting, it means that I am hurting too and, if there was one thing I never wanted to do, then it was hurt you. That was the last thing I wanted to do, and you have to believe me when I tell you that.

I just want you to be happy, April. Because, when you are happy, then I am happy. And that is all I have ever wanted for you.