Hello, My Name Is Daniel

Entry One

"I know I bend and I break all my promises,
but now it's time for the truth." 
     -Join The Club, Bring Me The Horizon
****
 

Dear Ace,

     I know you're not a real person. I chose the name Ace because it's the name of my first best friend. My dad. I miss him sometimes. Mrs. Parker said that I should find a creative and safe escape to express my feelings so I don't do anything drastic. I sometimes don't like the way she words things but Alice, my sister, said that she means well so I listen and don't say anything. 

     I decide to write seeing as I can't draw, or play any instruments, or sing, or dance, and I'm still on the negative side of writing but I guess it'll do. I'm not sure what I am suppose to say. Am I suppose to just talk about myself? I'm not sure who that person is. About my issues? There are just so many. My anger? What do you mean? I don't have any anger. My past? I'm not ready for that.  

     So where does that leave us?

The sky is awfully blue today.

    Or do you want to talk about the weather. 

It's a bit chilly for it to be the middle of summer but nothing a light sweater can't fix.

No. I don't see us getting anywhere with that. 

Why don't we start with my name. It seems I failed to say that. 

Hello, my name is Daniel. Daniel O' Brian.

     I'm not rich, or famous, or poor, or exciting, or magical. I'm just Daniel- wait, no. That's a lie. I'll let you in on a little top secret information.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling adventurous, I go by -you ready for this- Dan!

     So my life is boring. I guess. I'm still trying to figure out life. Mrs.Parker said that I shouldn't do that, that my thought process is very dark but that she'll try to help me find some light. I think my thoughts are fine but they can be overwhelming at times. I guess it depends on the time. It's normally night when I think about death. and Life. But mostly how life leads to death. And I think about how long it took for my mom to except that I'm just not okay. And the fact that it took her and Alice basically getting into a fist fight, and Alice sending me to the Doctors, and the Doctor suggesting a mental institution,  for her to just send me away to some psych boarding school.

An Asylum.

Maybe I'll meet the Joker.

That would probably be a short meeting but it would be nice to meet one of my heroes.

     I'll try to use proper wording, sentence structure, grammar, and writing. Having to focus on things as small as that, Mrs. Parker said, would get my mind off of things easier. If I'm not using it correctly, just know that I am distracted and probably lost in the dark forest of my thoughts. 

I don't know why it's so scary. Do you? Can you see into my mind? I guess that's what this book is for. Is this even a book? More like a journal. 

Yeah. A journal. 

I guess I'll end it here, before I start to ramble and we all know me rambling only leads to secrets unraveling. 

Good bye, Ace, 

     from, Daniel

I guess. I never know how to end things.  

*****

PLEASE READ

This AN Will be a bit longer because it's the only one until the end of the book. 

Yes, it is a new story, or journal. I can't actually write a story which is why everything I've posted is technically not a story, more like journals. This one, in particular, is something I've been wanting to test out even before IYWASWAY... the play list is coming along, I have the next few ones typed but I wont be posting until.... I guess there isn't a set date.

This journal will be a lot more serious then the other journals I have written, mainly because it's a glimpse of my mind and thought process. This is going to basically be my journal put into the thought process and situations of a teenage boy, Daniel. Not all of it is me, and by the end of the book NONE of it will be me, all of it will just be Daniel. I'm writing this to get everything out in the open in a conspicuous way. I couldn't just write my own journal, that's a bit to simple for me. 

THIS IS A WARNING. There will be reference, if not detailed descriptions, of self harm, drug and alcohol abuse, death, depression, suicide, homosexual relations, and  neglect. I DO NOT promote these things but they are needed for the structure of the story. (well, none of it except the homosexual relations. Love is love damn right I support it)

Also, at the begining of each entry there will be a song quote. It is not apart of the chapter itself but it is not an A/N. It's more like the lyrics running through my head as I typed out the entry. At this point in the journal, Daniel doesn't listen to music much.

I think that's everything, I WILL NOT have AN's throughout the journal so if you have any questions or want to talk I will be answering in the comment section or in box me. 

-That sad moment when you realize the note is longer then then the entry-

-Dani