Hello, My Name Is Daniel

Entry Two

"So don't close your eyes,
not just yet.
Sleep is just a cousin of death."
     -Bring Me The Horizon, Diamonds Aren't forever 
**** 

Dear Ace,

     I think I should start using a different heading. Even though this is only the second entry I can tell 'Dear Ace,' is going to get old by the fourth one. Maybe I should just say Ace... Yeah, I'll do that.

Ace,

     That's better. Now that's out of the way I'll tell you about my day. I woke up at around 7AM after passing out at around 6:30 AM. I sat in bed until around noon trying to see if anyone would notice that I hadn't got up, or if someone would check and see if I was still breathing. No one came which means that I started the day outside of my bed with more depressing thoughts then usual. I went into the halls of the boarding school and started my way through the maze and to the kitchen so I could get a coffee or energy drink. Next, I went back to my room to get dressed, which means that I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and picked up random clothes that I assumed where clean, that I then put onto my body. I went to class, having missed my morning classes but no one cared enough to actually check on me. And ended with a season with Mrs. Parker. And here we are now. It's around 3AM and I'm sitting at my desk writing to my dead father, no, someone I assigned my dead father's name,  because I can't sleep and my thoughts are driving me crazy. 

     You want to know about the season with Mrs. Parker? It was uneventful. She just wanted me to talk which turned into five minutes of silence to then be ruined by me asking her about her life. It worked, though. We- well, she, talked and I sat there staring out the window. I think the only reason she tells me about her life is so I can tell her about mine. You know, make the victim feel comfortable for a while, before prodding into the problem. It's not going to work but it's nice to know she takes her job seriously. That's all I really am to her, a job. Another one of her 12 O' clocks. I know she doesn't care. There's only one who does and she's at home probably going through my stuff and getting rid of all the sharp objects. She even took my mirror away. I think she doesn't trust me and that's a good thing. Trust leads to hurt and I just can't be the reason Alice is hurt. I'm suppose to look after my little sister, not the other way around. 

I think that's the only reason why I try to get better....

     Wow. I guess writing stuff down does help. You know more about me in these two short entries then Mrs. Parker knows in the last few months I've been seeing her. I guess it's sad. I don't know very many facts these days, so everything is pretty much an educated guess. That's good. A lot of scientific discoveries and beliefs are based off of educated guesses. 

Maybe I'll be a scientist. 

     Or maybe I'll just take things one at a time before I get my hopes up and cause myself along with the one I love disappointment. I don't really care about myself but Alice does so I have to care- for her. 

That's enough of Dr. Phil Home Edition for one day. 

     -Daniel