"At the end of the day I could say I'm haunted, can't tell if I'm dead or just fucking unwanted."
-Sworn In, Snake Eyes
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Ace,
It concerns me. Not my lack of care for myself, but the amount of effort I put into being a person.
I try to be the perfect brother for Alice, and the perfect son for you, and the perfect nobody in school-- it's to the point that I'm doubting I even exist.
Am I really living anymore? Or am I striving to be the perfect broken boy I once was? Struggling to paint the illusion of a life that has already given up on the fashion of breathing.
Am I finally facing the possibility that I died in the process of becoming the perfect somebody?
I guess what I'm trying to ask myself, is if there is a life still left in me. Last I check, I had dead eyes, but now I think I might be decaying. A process I may have started a long time ago.
I don't now. It's late, and by late I mean early, and by early I mean 4:25 AM, and by 4:25 AM, I mean that I'm sober and I really wish I wasn't. It's not like I try to stay up. Sleep and I just don't get along. I like sleep though. It's the only time I feel nothing. I guess I dream but I never remember when I wake. It's soothing to know that I can't feel. It's rear but when I do get to sleep, I'm at my happiest. And it's sad that my happiest is equivalent to temporary death.
-Daniel
YOU ARE READING
Hello, My Name Is Daniel
Teen FictionDaniel's mom sends him away to a boarding school she believes will help him. Or at least, that's what the doctor told her as she signed the papers after Alice, his sister, brought him to the hospital. Battling depression, faced with neglect, dealing...
