A Blank Ink Story

Chapter 4: ...ra ...ro

My heart never seemed to stop from dancing and I can feel my happiness surge around me, I know this feeling ... I'm in love... as we continue to talk ... I managed to give her the best thing that I could give ...

Monday 12:25am

I sent her a messaged expecting that she's already sleeping because it's late at night ...

"I see 😊 i still got one more left ..... A gift 😊 , will you take it ?"

but suddenly ...

"that's a gift. hahahhahahaha why not "

"Okay 😊 ... I never joked about it or waste a single breath for it ..... I only say this to the people who deserved it ..... Special enough for me to receive such words.. are you ready ? "

the air is getting heavier

"ohhhhh. now im curious. ano ba yan? hahhahha "

"You'll take it right ? "

"what is it ?? hahahaha "

I got no regrets, because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks...

"I love you Tammy"

I never got another reply after I sent this to her, I know for myself that I've crossed the line ... when suddenly I saw my phone glow, my hands are shaking in despair because I thought I'd lost someone who means so much to me ... but when I checked out her reply ... she said ...

"It's very shocking but, thank you. I appreciate you being brave enough to say that to people who matter to you the most. Even from Yanie, I saw it from you. So, for that. You're One of my bffs HAHAHAHAHA. I pray that God will continue to bless you with goodness of heart and more true friends. Again, thanksss! ❤ "

After all this time, someone called me as one of their best friend .. I fell asleep thinking of this over and over again, I was so happy but all of the sudden ... after I woke up .. one question bothered me and I decided to keep this question a secret...

"Tammy, am I going to lose you, the way that I lose my best friend ?"....

That question came into my mind whenever we talk, up to the point that I shared the story when I still got my best friend, and how I lost her ... it's the first short story that I've written,

she said

"lemme read it!! hahahaha "...

from that point, I know that after I share my story... she'll get a clue of what will happen if this continues ... considering those circumstances.. I simply said ...

"okay ahahaha, don't you ever let anyone read that"

and I began sharing the story that I didn't publish

" Subject A.N.B.R

It all started in the year 2007 ... I saw a girl with a red glasses and a red lace ... Ohhh red ❤️❤️❤️ my favorite color ... Yes she caught my eyes .. She embarrassed me all the time... Resulting into a chase ... She runs fast but she can't run long enough as I do haha ... The way she looked at me with those dazzling eyes and burning red glasses ... Add with her smile ... From there I know ... This girl would be a part of my life as long as I live ... She's a smart girl ... Section 2 classroom ... But me ? I belonged to section 12 ... And I have to cross another school building just to see her ... How did I know ? ... There's a time that I saw her enter a room and saw their teacher ... I secretly asked her name .... The teacher said "who ? " ... " the girl with the red glasses" ... "Ohh her name is arma mae ... Why ? You have a Crush on her?" ... "No sir, I love the color red" ... " she's a smart student of mine ... You should study harder so you can cope up with her " ... From there ... My scholastic records spiked up and I reached the 5th ranking among the students ... At least in our class ... Sigh .. Will she ever be happy to see me again ... On graduation day (we're just 6th graders) ... We've been given a yearbook ... YES!! Finally ... I can see her full name ... And her wonderful name spoke to me as I read it in silence .... Armae Nicole B. Rodriguez, but of course vacation is fun so ... We spend some time going back to our provinces ... It's fun ... But I missed her red glasses and laces ❤️❤️ damn ... So after vacation ... I've been enrolled in a Christian academy ... Yes ... I was still young back then ... So I spent the whole school year (2008-2009) playing computer games ... And In one of our class our teacher gave us a project to plant veggies and fruits .. She mentioned that we will be using farmville ... An app on facebook (farm simulator) that's When facebook came knocking in my door ... That was 2009 .. The first time I registered my social media account ... And suddenly when it comes to adding friends and people I knew .. There's one name that keeps on ringing inside my head ... What's the name of that girl with the red glasses and red laces ???? ..... I can't recall it .... So when the class ended ... I ran home and quickly looked at the elementary yearbook ... I saw her wonderful name again ... Armae Nicole B. Rodriguez ... "Ohhh where have you been all my life ..." Seeing what I'm looking for ... I search her name on facebook and *poof* .... wooaaah she's so marvelous .. She's like a goddess with her smile ... The first time I saw her without her glasses l melted instantly ... I saved that photo of her in my phone ... And when my classmates asked about who's this girl ... I just said .. She's a friend of mine ... Of course they're jealous ... The wanted me to introduce every one of them to her ... But I refused ... Coz I can't make a rivalry ... I'm incompetent ....... She accepted my friend request that night ... And we talk .... She said .. "Who are you ?" ... " I'm micko .. Your schoolmate at elementary "..... " micko? I don't recall " ... I felt sad of course but ... Something in my heart keeps on talking just for her to remember ... And finally .. The last coin dropped .. I said to her ... " you love embarrassing me and when I can't take it anymore ... I began chasing you but when I got you cornered .. You'll just smile(✌️😋) at me saying you're sorry .. " ... She said " ohhh I remember it now ... You're elijah right? Yiiiee " .... (Elijah ... My 5th grade crush .. She called me by that name to embarrass me) .... By that we became closer and closer ... I even managed to ask her middle name ... She said that B stands for Bacon .......... *Crooo* ... *crooo* .... I asked again and she said it really stands for Bacon ... She said her parents are from Amsterdam ..... A very wonderful name indeed ... Armae Nicole Bacon Rodriguez ... She studied in a public high school so ... We didn't see alot .... And of course .. My feelings grew and grew ... I began asking about her having a boyfriend .. Until I spoke about courting ... "Hey .. I'll court you and promise to be a good bf for you" .... " really? Don't play games around me mister " She doesn't believe ... I asked her for 2 weeks ... And it stopped after she said " do you want me to block you here on my account ? " .... I cower in fear of losing her .. So I said " haha .. Sorry just don't block me please .. I won't do it again " ... She reponded with one word .. " FINE " ...after the conversation I realized something..... Wait ...Whaaaattt!!?? I'm afraid of losing her ? .. From there ... I know ... I've been loving her ... With all I am .... Few days passed ... I decided to chat her again ... With some greetings ... Knowing the consequences ... I tried to conceal my feelings for her ... And when I heard the song ... " out of my league " by Stephen Speaks .... The music ... The lyrics ... The revelation came to me all at once ... Causing my love for her to grow even more .... I decided to study about playing a piano instrument ... And because of my will ... I learned how to play in just a week .... And mastered the song "Out of my league" in 2 weeks ..... Whenever I play that song ... I close my eyes and ... The world spins around her .... Rolls her eyes ... And I feel like I'm falling but it's no surprise, coz I love her with all that I am .... Ohh I just wish that the right time will come that you'll believe every truth of my heart is speaking up .... We still talked and laugh about things ... But little did she know ... She's the reason why I'm the first honorable mention ..... This time not in class .. But in the whole school(high school graduation)...... I wanted to say .. " Armae... Look where my feelings for you brought me" .... But I don't wanna lose her ... So I kept those words ... And As we graduated ... We spoke of what school, what course .... And this is where things became tricky .... We really grew apart ... But my feelings for her didn't fade .... She knew about it .... That's why she's avoiding long conversations from me ..... In order to fix that .... I came up with a solution ...... She and I became bestfriends ... I'm happy .. Because ... It's like I grew wings ... It's something .... We even exchange gifts every christmas ... And bdays ... July 3 .... October 14 .......... It didn't took long .. I got a girlfriend .. And she got her boyfriend .... And it's like I almost forgot about us again ... Except .. I remember the exchange gifts ... We're still fine all along ..... I thought I won't be feeling the same way again .. Until ... I found out that my girl was hanging out with her ex lover .... Holding hands ... Walking ... Laughing .... I couldn't do a thing but to burst in rage ....... Rage in tears ... After crying a lot .... I opened my eyes once again ... And saw a name .... Armae .......... Armae Nicole Bacon Rodriguez ... My bestfriend ... I shared everything ... It's like .... My heart was so hopeless but she gave it a shelter ... Though she's in a relationship .. I avert my heart from that and neglect all the feelings I got for her.... And years passed ... I received news that she's single ...... I'm so mad at that boy ... Coz ... Yes ... He's handsome ... And he's all that she wished for .... But still .. He broke up with her ........ Idk what got into him but ... He's the most stupid guy alive ... I'm saying it coz I can do better than him .... If and only if .... We're not bestfriends .... She lost a lot after that break up .... She's so bitter ... I asked her to rate her pain from the scale of 1-10 .. She said 7 ... I don't know how broke she was ... So tried my best to comfort her ... another time skip .... We managed to fix our lives ... I saw her writings and calligraphies ... I admired every work she made .... And I supported her in every way possible ... I even bought her some micron pens (used for better calligraphy strokes) ..... I love the way she appreciates it .... I can see her smile once again ..... That smile that gives me more reason to love her more .... Damn ... This girl will really be a part of me till there's breath in my body ... And as I saw her art grow better .... She asked me to check the art supply at m.enriquez if theres a sakura koi(watercolor for high level of calligraphy) in stock .... I got lost ... Coz she said it's located near the super 8 mall .... Damn I got lost ... But I got outside and saw a stair leading to the second level outside of the mall .... And From there I saw the hidden art supply .... I asked about the koi .... And they said there are only 2 stocks remaining and will be out of stock again tomorrow ..... I messaged her at facebook "there are only 2 stocks remaining .. What's your plan? " ... She said ... " it's okay .. I'll just wait for another month for them to restock ... Thanks " .... From there .. I felt her ..... Sad because you waited for a month to buy at least one .... So I decided to buy her one and took off to catch my next class ... As soon as we were dismissed .... One task is in my head ... Deliver this to her as a surprise gift ... It was already 9pm pass ... I called out her name ... But I saw her little sister saying that she's already asleep ... So I just asked her to give the koi ..... After I got home ... I took some rest too ... But when I woke up ... She messaged me around 12midnight ... " why did you bought this ? Thank you so much, as soon as I'm not busy .. I'll create a calligraphy of your name " .... A message enough for me to brighten my day ....... Few days passed ... She asked me to check the bookmarks she created .... And said that she'll give me a copy of them ... Just by looking at it .... I know ... They were written using the microns that I gave her ...... I was so happy .... And she also said something ... " i can't think of something to give you so I'll pay you for the koi " ... I said " no no no .... Wait .... Let's put it this way ... Find me a red body bag that can fit an ipad, umbrella and notes inside of it " ... She said " okay fine, I'll do it 😊 " .... After the term ended ... She gave me the bookmark, the bag and the calligraphy of my name .... But there's something more .... A letter .... From her .... I didn't expect it ... So it made me shine brighter than the sun hahaha who won't be happy right ? .... After reading it .... I decided to take her out ..... I asked her for a date ... Indirectly ... I asked her at .... Ask.fm app .... " can i ask you for a date ?" ... Her answer " it depends 😉 " ... " what do you mean? " ... " if I know you " .... "But you know me, so can I ask you for a date then ? " ... Her response ... " it still depends " ... "Depends?" ... " if we're close friends to each other " ........ The atmosphere changes ... My heart beat slowed down as that response stAre we close friends" ... She said " No. " ..........Her response stabbed me through my heart, flesh and soul .... But I didn't lose hope .... Coz she might think that I'm a different person ... So I asked her on facebook .... " are we close friends ? " .... My heart is still beating fast .... Until she said .... "No, sorry .. We're not. " ........ I just said ... " okay 😊 sorry, good night, take care always, God bless " ..... "Same to you 😊 " ..... After that she blocked me .... I got no choice but to watch my dreams disappear ... But ... I remember that my mom and her were friends on facebook so ... I continually admire her works in the shadows ............... 8 years of relationship ... Gone ...... I lost everything I thought I had ... The only reason why I'm good to everyone.......... I still remember how she embarrassed me during elementary days ..... Her smile like this ✌😂 That melted me and made me forget what she have done a while ago .... Oh how I wished that we've never grew up ... She'll just embarrass me all day long while I chase her endlessly .... I wish we could stay like those days .... As simple as that ... I wish we could still be little ... I won't let nobody hurt her nor break her heart .... A simple life where no one left her scarred .... I really wished we've never grew up. "

She spared no effort reading the whole story, it really touched me because... no one actually read my stories and what more is that ... the girl walking with the last piece of my love appreciated it on that very moment...

"awww :( ... TRAGEDY .. true story ? :'( "

"yes .. "

I know that she felt my sorrow way back because it led her almost out of words, she only said...

"That's fine you know .."

That time really shaked me to my core, I can still feel it like it was yesterday ... then the question in my mind echoed again ... "Tammy, am I going to lose you, the way that I lose my best friend ?" ... it never stopped from haunting me all of the sudden..

After a moment of recovering from what the story showed her ... she finally sewed all of what she wanted to say to me ...

" That's okay ... it seems like you are flooded with heartaches .. just an advice... Always pray to God to give you wisdom in choosing who to be in love with. it avoids heartaches. "

Her advice seemed questioned me, who do I want to be in love with ? ... I'm not quite sure yet .. so I ignored it and said ...

"yeah! it's okay .. those heartaches brought out the best in me ..."

I don't want her to see how scarred I've been before and how I've lived until now that's why I said that it's was nothing... but she seems to have tackled the same road as mine as her next response lead me to an answer to my previous question ...and that answer is "I'll choose her" ...

"well some pains are not worth it. Out of 7 billion people, there's only one person who's ordained with you that God chose for you. As what the Bible say 'Above all else, guard your heart' ... Your heart is very fragile so why settle for someone who will just break your heart when in the end the two of you won't live together till the end of the line."

... without anymore doubt ... my answer to my previous question ... that answer is "I'll choose her" ... my heart was filled with beautiful words as I gracefully said to her ...

"So I finally met Ma Tamara Rivero ... I shall remember your name wherever I go .. Thank you again :) "

That concludes the decisive night, but somehow ... the stars begins to question me ... "are you going to lose Tammy the way you lost your best friend ? " ... my heart just can't stay happy as all of this questions kept haunting me around.