This story is inspired by the person in the cover, if she looks familiar to you and if the name in your head starts with the letter "T", then please remove your doubt because you're correct. If you know her, then you're probably her classmate in FEU...
February just ended... It's time to greet March and embrace all sorts of emotions that are about to come. It's been a a few days since I talked to her, my heart won't just stop beating in rhythm... for whenever I think of her... all I can see is her bright smile, stirring the galaxies and her eyes that put the stars in their place... even the oceans and their waves calms as she walk flawlessly... I wish she knew how brilliantly she was shining on me, Tamy is .... she's my only star that glimmers in the night ... my only star that grants me peaceful good nights, my only star that sprinkled me sugary sweet dreams and the only star that made me think that my love was not dead.
A few moments passed... my thoughts questioned me...
"What do you want to happen ?"
Who am I fooling ? everyone knows that I like to take a chance... no matter what the consequences are.
The air around the room became heavy while giving me the chills of the afterlife as she told me that she have read this book... I expected that she will never talk to me again after she read the previous chapter. I can feel that something took place when the topic about the book never sprouted in our 2 hour conversation, it was never been mentioned again... It's like I might end this chapter with five hundred words or less. Before anything else falls.. I don't want a response in a message, I want it personal. I know that the first day of classes is tomorrow, I'm expecting that she'll bet there too. So I arranged my documents hoping that I might enter the campus of Paris in the following day, considering that I'm not yet enrolled. After the preparations, without any hesitations... I closed my eyes and ignored every possible things that will happen for tomorrow.
The roosters crew and the moment I opened my eyes, I know that this is the decisive day where everything will be given rest. I traveled myself to Paris lifelessly... I know for myself, this is not going well haha... As I took the stairs to the students plaza, the pressure inside me won't just budge... It's like it will only subside when I get to talk to her, slowly I walk and used the computer laboratory. I searched for her name and found her section and the room where I will meet her. A few minutes passed and I decided to take the elevator and go to the floor where she is and then...
"Elevators door opened"
I walked slowly in search of her but just as I did ... a global silence shook me where I'm currently standing ... I can even barely look into her eyes, my mouth was shut... my throat was dry as a desert... I looked away cursing myself.... deyum, just as I thought that I'm ready ... I created an awkward moment ... but luckily a friend of mine was there and accompanied me in walking away to think of things again.
I began collecting my thoughts in the other day, and took everything one step at a time, still not enrolled, I decided to wait for her outside of the technology building... it took me 45 minutes but never managed to see her this time, as lucky as I am... I saw her best friend Gaby and asked her to give the gift that I mentioned to Tamy a few weeks ago and I head back home ... the wind goes with my tide as they whispered, I got no regrets.
The evening star rose through the surfaces signifying the evening where everything that I've done so far will be judged, where this book either break me or make me. She messaged me saying
" Thanks for the gift, I received it. Thank you so much, I like it" ...
I don't know if should feel happy that she likes the gift or feel sad because of what her answer will be to my questions.
I began asking her ...
"Have you read the book till the latest chapter ? Any sparks at all ?"
"Yes I did.. sorry for the late reply, Just got home... uhmmm actually.. no.. none at all"
I knew it... from the very start ... whether a question or not ... the outcome is ......
(she continued...)
"I just see you as a friend, actually... while I was reading your book, I find it funny because I didn't expect such gorgeous words will be used to describe me.. and the truth is, those kind words that you received from me... it's because you're kind and you deserve it. I didn't know that the words you used in your book to describe me means something else ... or does it ? .. but I only see you as a friend. No spark at all. "
Not a single emoji was dropped there, I stood up and left my table ... I know, she knows ... that seen zone after her message means something already ...
(she added)
"I'm sorry, I'm not able to construct the words that I'll use to talk to you because of the chores that I have... I know for certain that ... I broke you ... I also know that seeing this messages from me means something to you too and I don't need to be direct at all. I really didn't know that those simple conversations means something already but, maybe tomorrow or the following days, I'll talk to you again."
I was trying to keep my spirits up and I was like ...
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I don't know what to feel already ... like ...
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But I appreciate her answer ... not a single response was ever recorded again ... (sigh) ... I crushed myself just to end this chapter ... I gnash my teeth knowing the outcome of everything ... just to be the author she expected me to be.. but , without her ... this book will be nothing ... I still dedicate it to her ... no matter how much it molded me ... I shall ever regard her as the hero of this book .... because only then that she spoke with me.. I was able to write a book ....and only a few knew the shadow of this story written in blank ink.
