where truth and fiction meet // buckin

thirty-five *

Jonny's POV

It is now my first week without having to go do a radiation treatment. I completed this cycle of them, and will have to go to my doctors to follow up with him on all of my symptoms and any possible improvements. My hair is gradually beginning to lessen, but my hat covers it. There are times that I forget what I was doing before, but I learned to embrace the feelings because it is telling me that the treatments could be helping me. I do get extremely dizzy though, so to avoid it I usually just go sleep. Chris is very loving and understanding of my emotions. Hannah just thinks I'm sick; she wouldn't understand the term of me having cancer. She doesn't need to live this nightmare if she's only five years old. She can't be bothered by my health because she has to worry about simple things. She's just too young to get such a large burden as this.

Besides that, Chris and I's love was getting very heated. He always made sure to do his best to make me satisfied and that he wanted nothing in return. I wish this wasn't the case, because what I really wanted was for him to just make love to me. He does it so gentle; so sweet that it completely takes me to another level when he's inside of me. He just made us feel like one when he slowly rocked his hips into mine, fucking me with nothing but love. I needed that release. If only once more, I'd be happy.

Waking me up was beginning to get harder and harder to do Chris told me. He said before, he always had to shake me to wake me up—but it is now simply terribly dire to do that. He now has to yell right in my ear whilst shaking me, and finally it gets me up. I wish that didn't have to be like that; it scared Chris half to death. It scared me too, but I have to come to terms with it; that is how I'll die one day.

But he finally got me up, and he was brushing his teeth. He didn't have on a shirt, and he was jamming the album Be Here Now by Oasis. He was humming along; I heard it and blushed. Seriously. That's how whipped I still am.

"Hey Jay. I just took Hannah to school. It's just us two now. Want me to uh—" he already tried to jump to that fact that I wanted the same daily thing.

"No, I don't. I want you to get me something to drink first, and then maybe I'll tell you what I want," I say cheekily, resting on my arms as I put them behind my head with emphasis. He rolled his eyes, but walked out of the room to get what I pleaded for.

He came back in with a glass of orange juice. It's not my favorite, but it would work. I didn't specify which drink, so I guess it's alright. I took a sip of it and then grabbed my bottle of steroids on the night stand so I could take them. As I took my medicine, Chris finished brushing and flossing his teeth. Anyways, the pills were also prescribed to me for my cancer, because they help—I guess? Honestly, I didn't leave it to myself to really know a lot about my own illness because I preferred that to be left to the professionals. Especially when it looks and even sounds dangerous. Never in a million years would I think it would be me to develop cancer. Brain cancer of all things.

I found it quite scary to research the cancer and to learn about it because my anxiety was already bad enough the way it is. If I knew it all, it would all be so much worse. The doctor agrees with me, and tells Chris all about it first. Then, that's who basically decides everything to do with the treatments.

After my pills were long gone and washed down my throat, I took an extra drink of the juice and motioned for Chris to come over to me. He smiled as he furrowed his eyebrows and then he bent down to kiss me.

Once he pulled away, he looked me in the eyes one on one.

"I never wanted to come and say it—we don't know if you'll be here next year Jay," he said, sniffing and his eyes began to get clouded. "We need to hurry up and have you a baby of your own so you can leave us a piece of you."

My heart felt warm at how much he cared for me. He leant over and kissed my lips once more, and I whimpered at the touch of his hand on my crotch. "Do you want the usual, baby?" he questioned, thinking I wanted another blowjob.

"No," I mumbled, embarrassed of what I wanted him to do, "Chris, please," I try hinting at him.

"I can't touch you like that right now," he said, "you're too sick for me."

"I don't care," I whined, pulling down his pants to express myself more than before, "it would make me feel so much better. And anyways, the pain is in my head; not anywhere else right now. Please."

He sighed, pausing the album on track six. Once we both got naked and situated I immediately knew he wouldn't hesitate from there on out. He hates those games, and I already knew that from numerical different experiences.

"Not hard today though," I whispered as he kissed my neck. "...just—fuck—make me feel good."

He nodded with a nice, understanding gesture and entered me.

The only thing I wanted now for weeks—because nothing can make me feel as good as that did.

He forcefully grabbed the headboard for him to have a reliable source to support him, rolling his hips in mine and the sound of wood hitting the wall was loud throughout the room. He did it just right too, knowing that I wanted him to make actual love to me.

"Oh my god—deeper baby," I moaned in his ear and he let out a raspy breath, trying to fulfill my want.

He listens to my command, and suddenly I felt such a glorious sensation from what he was doing—and it was very hard to keep myself from screaming out from it. I suppressed the loud sound I could have made though, because I was just cautious about it this time around.

My breathing became a little unsteady as the minutes passed. I let a whimper out every little bit, but other than that I just took in all the wonderful sensational feelings he was transferring to me.

"Jay," he pants enthusiastically, "you took me all this time. It's just—shit—I'm about to come."

He didn't lie, because a few seconds after that statement I felt his warm ejaculation pour out of him and into me. As this took place, he kissed me full of passion and love. He made sure to ride out his orgasm for both of us to reach the nirvana-like state.

It just made me feel comfortable with everything when he was like this with me. It showed me that he truly cared about me. Figuratively, and literally.

I'm overjoyed I had times like those before the storm drew closer...and when it came, it hit hard.