where truth and fiction meet // buckin

twenty-one

follow my fan twitter : chrisbuckin
and ig : thenappies

this is told through their memories of the events. i use flashbacks quite often from here on out. they are currently in 2006, but some memories are from earlier times. during the x&y release, and in the twisted logic tour. skipping time is so much more easier.

and also notice how i had given up on doing a sequel lmao. i feel as if nobody would read it, or do as they pleased like they've done with this book. plus this one is doing fine with the amount of space and shit. i could write 50 chapters for this book and find it completely okay. lol. i think it's easier than to keep building on than to start something new.

*

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Chris' POV

It's now December of 2006, and things aren't how they use to be. It just isn't the same anymore; which stresses me the hell out.

All I can do is indulge about what we use to have. Jonny didn't even hesitate on the night of my proposal. It was the best time of our lives; not a care in the world. We were always by each others side, no matter the situation or distance. Except—even though we both had our ups and downs, we still managed to pull through. It's too hard to do so right now, as we carry the weight of the whole fucking universe above us—to me anyway. We let the media know. I acted how I wanted to with him, because I was just so aware of how much I loved him. The world could know it if they wanted, and so they did.

And the attention became nice at times, to know there are so many supporters of us. The pros of this is that most of the people who liked us before the announcement loved us even more, for some reason. Guy and Phil were actually right. I had no idea as to why, or how.

But occasionally there would be a snobby little comment made on our online message board, leading to be the cons of being in an openly gay relationship with your band mate, it seemed. They didn't affect me or Jay though. We were just in love and nobody stood in our way. I made that clear.

Let's get down to the real event, however.

A few weeks before the huge release of X&Y, Jonny and I married. And God, wasn't that just such a godsend? I'm not even being sarcastic. I've been waiting to finally settle down with someone, and it was him all along.

My ways have sort of changed, however. I feel less like myself, recently. Because I feel like Jonny will leave me for someone who doesn't fuck everything up. I'm trying to better myself; but it's hard when I constantly have trust issues from these past few people I saw before him. I just don't want to give everything to Jonny and then he just happens to kick me to the side like a lost cause. I don't want us to be that way. Ever. I just love him too much to have us fail completely. But I don't know how to save my dumbass from fucking it all up.

His vow—it was actually everything to me. It still is. I just remembered so vividly how much love was felt in that room. It was hard not to cry. But now it's just so hard to even get any emotions from him anymore. I just needed to know what the fuck I've done wrong, and maybe even find a way to repair us. We need to be better again, and it's probably just the Twisted Logic tour taking a toll on us; I just know it.

We had been so very distant lately. Jonny and I sleep in the same hotel room, and even kiss sometimes, but we're not as open as we use to be. We can't speak our mine as much as before.

I walked over to him as he got his microwaveable dinner out. I put my arms around him like old times, kissing his neck softly.

"Why are we so distant now, baby?"

"I don't know, Chris. And honestly, I'm not in the mood to argue,"

"I'm not arguing. I'm curious. Whats wrong?"

He continued stirring the meal up as it was done, "I just—it's how you said—nothing. Forget it. I'm sure you don't care."

"I care, Jay! See? This shit—This is what I'm talking about, Jon. You never want to talk to me anymore! Just tell me what I said that made you so mad!" I quickly removed my arms from his waist, making various hand gestures along with my words to express my gratitude for this.

"No! I said I don't want to argue!" he exclaimed, forcing himself out of my grasp as he held onto his meal.

"But, Jay!"

"Just leave me the hell alone!" he added, sitting in the dining chair away from me. He was facing the opposite direction.

I was so pissed off that he feels he can't talk to me. What have I done wrong!?

I furiously grabbed my guitar case and slammed the door behind me as I left. He needs to straighten up and start telling me what's the matter like old times.

Jonny's POV

He actually has no idea of why I'm mad at him. He acts completely clueless; as if he doesn't recall anything he's said. He slammed the door like he was the victim. That is really uncalled for.

A few weeks ago Chris went to an interview. When asked anything to do with me, he sighed and got sort of annoyed. That's not what got me, even though that matters as well. What he did a couple hours later was really unpleasant to me.

He described me as someone who is clingy when asked about me, for the umpteenth time in a different interview for X&Y. He just didn't like the previous man, and now he was more at ease with the current one I am addressing.

"How are you and Jonny? Are things, uh, well?"

"We're doing okay. Things are, fine."

"What song on the new album do you think describes you guys the best?"

"I'd say—maybe... 'Til Kingdom Come' but that's really cheesy." he laughed, which warmed my heart at first. I didn't think he'd mess up the nice little vibe, until the next few words spoken.

"Aw, that's sweet," said the reporter, "..so do you guys go on dates and stuff?"

"I mean, there's like never a moment where we're apart. But y'know how relationships are. We're never really apart anyways, and I'm not to blame." he laughed. Which this shocked me. He basically was saying that I clung to him.

Like someone that doesn't even matter. I mean—it's not my fault when I use to love spending time with him. But now, since he thinks all I do is try and be up his ass, I won't bother anymore. So, I'm continuously going to be on something like a strike—because since he doesn't want us to be as close, I will show him what he's missing. And it will work.

*

It's now been three days of this strike I've sustained. Apparently, he misses my touch he says. That's not what it seemed like the other day.

"Jay—you need to get real. If I done something wrong to you, I'm apologizing for it. But it'd be kind of nice to actually know why you're so mad all of the sudden."

I ignored him, and took my shirt off to get in the shower inside of the hotel bathroom. He followed behind me, and I teased him, shutting the door.

This should be fun.