where truth and fiction meet // buckin

thirty-six

Chris' POV

Jonny is doing a lot better, but is not clear of the cancer. Not at all. Yeah, he still has the occasional headache or atypical absence seizure—but it is way better than awhile back, where all he had done was sleep. Back then he was just one hundred twenty-four pounds—now he weighs about one hundred sixty-two pounds once again. Things were looking up for quite some time, especially even with Jonny's perception to have his own biological baby. Two months of searching for a surrogate to be the carrier of Jonny's baby, we found one. Angel Scott was her name, and she was very cooperative with us. She did in fact request top dollar for the fee, but Jay was alright with it. I was too, as long as it made my other half happy. She wanted to not have a connection with the baby until it was old enough, and if they wanted to know about her or not. Even then, she just wanted to meet the child once or twice. We lovingly agreed wholeheartedly. It sounded like a plan that I never would have imagined he would be so excited over. The process was easy, and took no time. Four weeks after he had the doctor 'plant the child into her' as he described it, she called and confirmed of her pregnancy. During this said pregnancy, Jonny paid a high profit to her during the whole time—including when she even wanted her hair and nails done. He outdone it all when it came to pampering the mother of his soon-to-be baby. It was very nerve-relieving when I knew that he was for real looking forward to the next path in our lives.

She is now six months pregnant, and has just received the sex of the child. She called me on the phone to alert us of the information, and told me that she would bring us the ultrasound. My heart was overjoyed once I found out it would be a boy—just as Jay had hoped for countless nights. But the preparation for the new baby boy's room was one of my favorite experiences to have had with Jonny. It was so overwhelming to me; we are going to have our own little family, and things were going to change for the better for here on out. "How about we get this green crib, and these blue sheets?" he questioned, holding the package of green-colored sheets over the baby crib. I shook my head and let out a chuckle, because it was so ridiculous how he thought that would be nice for his—our—baby.

"Not a chance, Jay. Pick a matching set." he rolled his eyes with a scoff.

"Maybe we can get the green teddy-bear designed crib with the plain green sheets." he suggested once more, showing the same gesture as before but except this time it actually didn't look bad at all. I nodded immediately as he threw the sheets into our buggy and loaded the 'do-it-yourself' crib box onto the bottom of our cart that we were to set up later in the room where Hannah once slept as a baby. We ended up buying this, and we decided to take it home and try to put it together tonight.

*

"Chris—do you know where the Motrin is? I have an abnormal headache out of nowhere and its not like the others."

Worry struck me, "the cabinet in the bathroom. But baby, you can go to sleep and I'll do it for you, love."

"I won't be able to sleep like this. Please. Let me help you put the crib up after I take some Advil or something."

"I don't want something like this bother you that much. This type of thing happens. It will always continue to happen. I'll be there in the room in just a minute to bring you a glass of water. I'll even—do something to get your mind off of it." I said cheekily.

He smirked, agreeing with my suggestion. Then he was sent off to the bathroom to take some sort of acetaminophen. This sort of thing when it happened had to be taken seriously. Jay was never the one to cry wolf. When he had a headache, it was a legitimate one. So, when he complains of one the doctor told me to be prepared that this headache could mean something bad.

He's had this cancerous tumor in his brain for almost a year now and nothing could possibly prepare me for the end of the journey. . .

Hannah had a friend across the street, and I was going to take her over there for a few hours until I got Jonny feeling a little better. She was happy to go play with her and her sister.

"I changed my mind! I wanna stay the night with Mabel. Please. Can I?" She was exclaiming as she held my hand to cross the street. It was Saturday and I could only imagine how bored my child is while we were trying to fix up the baby's nursery. Once at the destination, I hurriedly knocked on the door to get this over with.

"Of course, sweetheart." I answered her question.

Laura, her friend's mother, opened it and welcomed us in with a caring gesture. "Hey Laura. I'm very sorry to bother you but can she please stay the night here and play with your girls? I'll bring her clothes and other things by in a few hours,"

"Sure thing, Chris. I don't mind it at all, since it's a Saturday and the girls won't stop complaining of how boring it is. Is everything okay?" she indicated something was up with sincerity as Hannah ran behind her to go in the room with her two friends when the answer was a 'yes'.

"Well, Jonny isn't feeling too well and I think I may need to take him to the hospital. I just don't want her around to see him like this," I admitted the truth to her, sighing, "and thanks again for letting her stay. Do you need any money for dinner and such?"

"No—no not at all!" her demeanor changed, "you go ahead and take care of Jon. He needs you. We pray for him every night, because we are a living example of how cancer can affect not only the victims life, but everyone around them." she says, reminding me of how her husband Tony died from a battle of lung cancer. He had gotten a bad case of pneumonia and nothing could stop it from traveling to both lungs. He died shortly after.

I walked back to my house after I yelled my goodbyes to Hannah. She probably didn't even hear me because of how much laughter I heard in the girls' room.

I threw my shirt off as soon as I got situated in the door. I wanted to give him a little bit of a view to admire as I took sucked him dry.

Opening the door, I saw him laying on the bed playing his phone. He immediately looked at me, startled by the sudden motion that he witnessed.

"Baby—are you okay?"

"I'm not that much better, if not even worse. I really want to just get my mind off it.." he says, his eyes clearly traveling down my torso, "come kiss me."

I scurried over to the bed, getting over him. "Jay—Hannah's staying over at Laura's kids' house across the street so if we need to either be alone or go to the doctor, you can definitely decide whichever one."

"I'm scared to go to the doctor. I—I'm scared for what they'll tell me." I kiss his cheek and rubbed his arm to soothe him.

"The hospital could admit you in if you really need it. And you rarely complain so if you do, you usually mean it. We can't have this be the day." I explained to him so he would understand the significance of this issue. He knew what I meant about 'the day' too. We talked about it frequently. But now, I was very worried for his safety and well-being; he was worth the whole world to me. I don't know how else I could explain it, because it's just a known fact to everybody. "I can't do this anymore," he whines, tears forming in just the matter of seconds. I hate seeing him suffer so much agony; so much pain. I could not bare it. He pushed me off of him and slid his shoes on. "Chris—please help me to the car—I'm so dizzy.. I need to go the doctor," I sprung to my feet as fast as I possibly could, trying to help him. I got by his side and had my arm around his shoulder—until he collapsed to the floor with a loud thump.