where truth and fiction meet // buckin

thirteen

Jonny's POV

Chris spoke those words to me without thinking. To me, it felt like I wasn't anything to him; as if he were embarrassed to even stand by me. He even had the fucking nerve to tell me I should 'act my age', which is completely irrelevant.

There was still part of me that felt like it was just him feeling a little anxiety from the paps. They give people like us no privacy anymore. He had no idea what could have happened if they got pictures of us once more. I'm sure they did, but not the ones it might have been. I just feel so empty; like my heart was shattered. It wasn't even that big of a deal, but it was the principle. I was just playing around.

I had taken the cab to my house. It was really lonely here without him, but some time alone was what I needed right now. I needed to be by myself for a few days to clear my head.

*

Chris' POV

Words cannot describe how much sorrow I dealt with due to the words that I so unthinkingly spoke to Jonny. It has now been two days since the incident occurred. My head was clouded with thoughts like that I wished I could've done so much more than I did to him, besides being a fucking dick. I can't believe I let my head speak before my heart. He is everything to me. And I treated him like a fucking stranger. How could I have done that to him?

Our song "The Scientist" meant the world to me at the minute.

Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, what a rush to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads only science apart

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Did not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh, what a rush to the start

Running up circles
Coming up tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
Oh, no one ever said it would be this hard

I'm going back to the start.

I never listen to my own music when it's done. Or perform it on my piano when I'm all alone. But now, I felt as if this is was what the song was meant for. I just felt like such a terrible boyfriend to Jonny. I should've let the paparazzi slide, and enjoy my life as who I am. And if that life is to be with Jonny, I don't think I'd have it any other way. At all.

As I tried to think back as to what had given me inspiration to write the song, I remembered it clearly. I was confused. Confused on who I was to fall in love with, who do I think would love me as I am, and most importantly, I was confused on if I could be with Jonny.

When I found out he'd taken a liken to me, it gave me a huge supply of hope. I've loved him for years now. I just never wanted to genuinely admit it. He understands me unlike other relationships I've had with people before. He's always—ALWAYS—been there for me. And I go out and treat him like utter shit because of some fucking paparazzi taking photos? I can't even comprehend as to why I'd have done such a horrific thing to someone that means the whole sky of stars to me.

It's unfortunate that I know this now. This might not matter to him anymore, however. He might think I'm just saying this to get him back, but it's so very untrue. I'm telling him this because I actually love him and he means the universe to me. Maybe if I could show him I love him; show him I care.

There was not a star in the sky that was bright enough to take his place. Not even the North Star could have been such a great influence on my life. He was the one who had been the one. He was all I ever needed. And if I had any sense, I'd make it right with him.

I grabbed my guitar case, and put it in the trunk. I needed to make things right between us.

(A/N: sorry guys. this is basically just a filler chapter just to let you guys know the thoughts and feelings of them. it'll take off in next chapter. and yes, I indeed will write both stories, but im stuck with writers block on the other book. i don't know what to do for it. if you have any slight suggestions for it, you can message me on this site. I will proceed to shout you out if you do so.)