I was a Mistake

Gram's Gone

After getting released from the hospital, I was put into my bed in my old, pink bedroom and was laid on my bad side so I could breathe easier. Gram had her bags by the door frame and kissed my head before whispering, "I'll miss you most. I'll try to get you out of here as soon as possible. I'm so sorry I can't stay longer, angel baby."

She left that day after Momma told her she wasn't invited to visit anymore.

Mommy and Gram argued a lot over the weekend. Momma didn't want Gram to be a part of her life. I remember her saying, 'Why do you always interfere with my life? She's my daughter, I can raise her however I want!'

Gram wasn't happy with my momma. 'You're neglecting her for your own mistakes! I had to tell those men her other bruises were from her brother! I know where they are from, Shanie! She's in less than the third percentile of a normal three-year-old and severely malnourished. That baby has done nothing to your family, yet all of you treat her like she's the plague! Can't I take her home with me?'

I think that we'd be really happy if I lived with Gram.

'She's my daughter, not yours! I'm keeping her and you can't do anything about it. Go to CPS, see if they believe you! Besides, with your health condition, she's just gonna come back to me in a few years anyway.'

If I had known it was my last time to see my beloved Gram, I would have done more than just received her kisses.

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After Gram left, I was moved back to the basement. Momma set up my training bed and told me to walk downstairs. The doctor told me I shouldn't walk and to keep from moving as much as possible, but I didn't think Momma cared what the doctor said. I had been taught to breathe evenly, but the pain took my breath away, causing me to gasp every couple of steps. I held onto the stair railing as tight as I could so I wouldn't trip.

"Get in bed. You start school in two weeks. Don't get pneumonia."

They said that word a lot in the hospital. I didn't know what pneumonia was, but I was going to do my best to not get it because Mommy told me not to. Momma left me in the basement without giving me any medicine. I remembered the doctor telling Gram to give me medicine every four hours. It felt like it had been much longer. I grabbed her hand and pointed to my side. Mommy scoffed and walked off.

I was having trouble breathing because of the pain and I had to go to the bathroom really bad. I contemplated going potty in my bed, but I remembered what Momma did last time.

I hobbled to the toilet and tried to hoist myself up. Come on, Eden! Do it! No matter what I encouraged, my battered body could not reach the tall toilet. I hobbled to a box and pushed it into the bathroom, tears leaking out. I quickly wiped them away just in case Momma came back. When I stacked the boxes high enough, I stepped up to the toilet and was able to potty.

I found a piece of cloth and wet it in the sink and hobbled over to my bed before placing the cloth on my aching side. I shivered at the cold and the relief I felt. I imagined Gram and Daddy and even Mommy kissing me goodnight before falling asleep.

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I was really hungry. Mommy forgot to feed me the day before and I wasn't able to get to the top of the stairs where my plate of food was.

I was in so much pain, my body was shaking and writhing in my small bed. I grunted and tried to sit up, wishing I had a blanket to put over my shoulders. I wasn't breathing right again. I tried to breath like the nice doctors told me to, but every breath felt like a punch to my already sore body.

When I reached the plate of food, I ate it as fast as I could before limping back to my bed and trying to sleep. Momma said I had school in two weeks. The twins loved school. I hoped I would too.