I was a Mistake

Noah's Point of View

I hated to admit it, but I was trying to distance myself from Eden. She was just too perfect, too amazing. I didn't feel good enough for her.

I found Sophie to hang out with. She was pretty enough, but she couldn't compare to my best friend. I didn't want to be her boyfriend. I just wanted someone to keep my brain from being completely consumed by everything Eden.

It was crazy how much the little lady could affect me. Eden was the epitome of beauty and she was usually the reason for my happiness. She had been through a lot, there was no doubt about that, but I wanted to help her overcome that and just be a happy teenager like she deserved. I remember the first time I ever saw Eden. She was easily the smallest in the classroom. She was undeniably beautiful, even as a kid, I was drawn to her. I walked up to her and introduced myself and the poor girl fell in on herself like a bounce house without air. I could tell she was scared and her face was scrunched up in pain.

From then on, I did all I could to keep my Edith happy.

I remember being so angry when I found out Eden was being abused because I wasn't there to protect her. I knew I was young, but I should have seen the signs. I was the boy that just understood Eden. I was supposed to know Eden inside and out. I was the one who could decipher what she needed because I understood her perfectly. Imagine how I felt when I realized I didn't know the biggest struggle in her life.

Of course, I was in love with Eden. I think that I had been since third grade when she threw her spaghetti lunch at me for going after a boy when he was mean to her. I remember her cute glare and dirty cheeks, red with anger.

She always hated me sticking up for her, but I think I had some kind of complex, needing to protect her at all costs. Even then, she was sent to the office for something I did. I hated that I ever caused her pain.

I never told Eden I liked her because she was too good, too beautiful, and it wasn't the right time. She deserved the world and I wasn't worthy. She'd never want to be with me.

So, I did the worst thing I could possibly do. I tried to make her jealous.

I said yes to a girl that had been pursuing me for two months. Sophia was beautiful but didn't compare to my Eden. I came home bragging about my time with her, brought her home for dinner, hoping Eden would realize she liked me and not just as a foster brother. But trying to avoid my Edith turned into a bigger challenge than I thought. I found myself thinking about her all the time. I'd think about her smile, her gorgeous green eyes. I thought about her dark, curly hair that was so long, it caressed her waist the way I wanted to. I found myself wanting to hold her in my arms, to feel her tan skin against mine.

Sophie took me out almost every day for two weeks. I had recently got my drivers license on my sixteenth birthday and we'd alternate rides. She asked me not to invite Eden. That should have been my first red flag. I listened to her because she made the arguments very convincing. She ensured me Eden didn't need me.

Sophie tried to convince me that Eden was tired of spending so much time with me. She said that Eden needed space if I ever wanted her to love me back. I'd do anything to make Eden love me, so I listened.

Eden had nightmares most nights. They tortured me, knowing they scared her, and somehow I always knew when she had them. She'd let me hold her and I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it for selfish reasons. She never told me what they were about, but I think I knew, and it broke my heart to see her struggle. For some idiotic reason, Sophia convinced me Eden didn't need me when she had nightmares. She told me they would never go away if I didn't let her deal with it herself.

On the day Eden was taken, I was suffering from Eden withdrawals. Sophie sat beside her in the lunch room so I took the next closest seat to her. Her hair covered her face so I couldn't see. She pushed her food around her plate and she rested her elbow on the table, cheek in her palm.