I was a Mistake

Blood

I walked in the door with silent steps and quiet breaths. I attempted to creep into my basement bedroom and sighed when Carl, Momma, Gabriel, and Gabby sat at the kitchen table waiting for me, obliterating any chance of me avoiding the beating.

Gabriel's face was almost unrecognizable. His nose had a definite crook in it, blood stains on his upper lip. Two black eyes marred his pale cheeks. A crack of red seeped from a cut in his lip and onto his chin. I felt a lot better knowing that he looked much worse than Isaiah.

I inwardly felt elated Isaiah did all that for me.

Momma was very, very mad, sitting very close to Gabriel and resting a protective arm on his robust shoulders. Her fingers twitched as if they were eager to get to me. Her face held that fake sense of calm, sending a definite message to my brain 'run, run as fast as you can'. I stood motionless, frozen because I knew what she wanted from me. By each passing second, her body shook with growing anger at the sight of me. Her body seemed to say 'it should have been you'.

Carl looked just as angry as Momma. His apparent grimace sent shivers down my spine. He had taken to disciplining me just as much as Momma did, looking for any excuse to lay his hands on me. The difference between him and Momma were his stronger arms and heavier hands that he took full advantage of. The fact that their precious Gabe had been hit by my friend because of me, obviously didn't sit well with them.

I barely took a step back before all four of them stood up to advance on me. Even my brother and sister, who usually stayed out of my punishments seemed eager to reach me.  I continued to back up towards where I knew the door to be. I ran to the door, Momma right on my heels, and was yanked by my braid back inside, a yelp escaping my lips. Momma slammed the door shut. Panic took over. Please help me. I begged Jesus to listen.

"She'll never learn. She's so stupid. I'm almost tired of teaching her so many lessons. But it's just so fucking fun to beat her grimy ass!" I wanted to spit at Carl. I hated him because he didn't know me and had no right to take his place as my father.

Momma threw me on the couch. She instructed Gabriella to hold me down with her arms. My sister seemed disgusted by the thought of touching me, but followed her mother's direction, the prospect of my inevitable beating more exciting than anything else she could be doing.

"You are absolutely right, babe," Momma said with an adoring glance at the greasy man that weaseled his way into her life. "Sometimes I wonder how someone can be so stupid, her idiotic brain must be the size of a pea."

I wanted to yell at her, to scream at the fact she never paid attention to my report cards or my letters home. If I could, I'd tell her I made almost perfect scores on all of my standardized tests, show her my grades were exemplary. Mrs. Winters told me every grading period how proud she was and that I was extremely smart. I only wanted my own family to feel the same way. Momma wouldn't think I was stupid if she'd just pay attention to me, but really that was the least of my worries.

"I wanna teach Eden a lesson this time." Gabriel stood with his hands on his hips, his fat belly protruded from his shirt. "After all, this is all her fault."

Momma and Carl looked at my brother like they'd never been so proud in their life. "She needs to know that next time she has someone else stick up for her, she'll regret it."

I squirmed in Gabriella's arms. She took her freshly manicured nails and dug them into the flesh of my arm as hard as she could. "You're gonna get it," she taunted into my ear.

Gabriel grabbed my chin and pulled it up to look into my eyes. "You'll regret this. You'll regret having friends. You'll wish you'd never known them after I'm done with you." He breathed heavily, spit spewing on my face with each word he spoke.

"Isaiah Winters will wish he never laid a hand on me after he sees you." His grip on my chin got increasingly stronger until I was sure distinct fingerprints would bruise my jaw.

Momma had retrieved her beloved studded belt. She sat watching her son degrade me with pride in her eyes. Carl cracked his knuckles in preparation. I wondered for the thousandth time why I deserved to be treated the way I was. I wondered how my own family could hate me so much, a little girl who only ever tried to prove she could be worthy of love.

Before I could ready myself, Gabriel punched my stomach, cackling with his sister at my gasp for air. "You'd be dead if it wasn't for that stupid family. Nobody would care, otherwise."

He grabbed me by my braid, pulling me out of Gabriella's arms. He leaned me on the wall, hunched over, trying to recover from his punch. Carl stood beside me and held my face in an upright position to give Gabriel easy access. In rapid succession, Gabriel punched my nose, mouth, and eyes, blood spurting from the orifices almost immediately. I shamelessly cried, fully aware that the breathtaking pain I was in would be nothing compared to the sheer agony I would be feeling later.

After Gabriel had his fill, the rest of my family advanced, as if this was a sick family game. I don't know how long I was beaten. My body had become numb and motionless, seconds from blacking out after what felt like five hours of non-stop torture. I had been hit countless times, beaten and abused to avenge my brother's bruised nose.

I was fully aware that my body would remain motionless, unable to move unless I dragged myself to the basement. My supposed family had tired and were playing a video game in one of the twin's rooms. I spent the night on the living room floor, writhing in pain and realizing I would not be able to attend school the next day and would most like not be seeing the Winters either. But again, that was probably the least of my worries.

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