I was a Mistake

Wishing For Home

The week following might have been the most boring few days of my entire life. Noah had begged to miss school so he could stay with me and keep me company. Of course, he couldn't. He went to school while I was left at the hospital.

At first, for four days, all I did was sleep anyway. I'd wake up, eat gross soup, fall back asleep, wake up again to eat gross pasta, clean my wounds, fall back asleep, get a sponge bath, check my head, fall back asleep, check my ports, wake up around seven to visit with Noah and the rest of the family, and fall asleep for the rest of the night. The doctors said it was just my body trying to recover, but I was beyond annoyed at how much time I was losing.

I also felt disgusting. It had been an accumulative seven days since I had come to the hospital and I hadn't had a real shower. Of course, there were those times when the nurse's sponge washed me, but I found that gross and it did no good. This would be the day that I was going to get up and take a shower, despite what others had to say and no matter how I felt.

When my nurse, Mina, came in to check on me, I prepared my speech. "Mina, can you please let me shower? I smell awful and I think it would make me feel better. Please. I'll do anything!" Mina looked to be in deep thought.

"I can get in big trouble for this. You aren't supposed to be walking. With your long list of injuries- dear, you have a bruised hip you can't walk on- I should not be able to take you anywhere," she clucked. I pouted. "But, honey, I know how awful you must feel and for that I will help you.

"I need you to be super careful and let me put you in a wheelchair. If you reopen any of your stitches it won't be fun for you and I could get fired. I think that the water will do your body good and we can take your bandage around your head off, but we need to keep your IV and your cast and the stitches on your abdomen completely dry. Luckily we have stuff for that. Let me call Mrs. Winters and ask if she'd like to be here to help." She left to call Momma and came back with a big smile on her face. "Okay, she is on her way. I've got a chair in the bathtub for you to sit on and Mrs. Winters and I will help bathe you and wash your hair."

I could have jumped for joy if my body would have allowed it. Mina lifted my bed to an upright position and helped me sit up completely. She helped me move my legs over the side of the bed and I winced, feeling every muscle in my body protest. My breath came in pants and the world spun around me.

Once I was sitting on the side of the bed and my feet were on the ground, Mina maneuvered the wheelchair right up next to the bed. "Are you sure you still want to do this, darling?" she inquired, her hand on my shoulder to steady me. I nodded, determined. She lifted me underneath my armpits and placed me gently into the wheelchair. A few traitorous tears fell onto my cheeks with the amount of pain I was feeling.

"It's almost time for another dose of morphine, honey, we'll get you all fixed up when you're back in the bed."

Momma walked in and gasped at the sight of me out of bed. She kissed the top of my head in greeting after setting a bag full of my stuff down. Both women pushed me into the bathroom where an open shower sat on the far wall. Mina pulled out something that looked just like a trash bag and wrapped it around my entire arm, leaving the IV out of the enclosed part. She then took a piece of it and laid it over my bandage that covered my stitches. She taped it on to the surrounding skin. They turned on the water and lifted me gently out of the wheelchair. I was placed on something that looked like a waterproof office chair.

"Now, you have to keep your arm out of the water so that your IV stays dry. Do not move it. Do you think you can do that?" Mina wasn't bossy, she actually looked very worried about my well being. I told her that I could. "We're going to bathe you now and I want you to tell us immediately if you start to feel sick."

They took the shower head off of the hinge and brought it closer to my hair. The water felt great on my dirty body and I relaxed as they washed my hair which had become matted and gross, with my favorite shampoo and conditioner Momma brought from home. When they moved onto the rest of my body, they washed me with a gentle body wash and a soft wash rag, extra careful of each gash and bruise. They allowed me to bathe my private parts and Mina was extra careful on those parts of my body that had been stitched. Despite how careful they were being, I couldn't help but groan every few minutes in pain.

Once my body had been cleaned, they wrapped my body in a towel and dried what they could before lifting me back into my wheelchair. My trash bags were taken off of my arm and carefully ripped off of my stomach. They dried me a little more and dressed me in a new pair of underwear and hospital gown. Momma pulled a pair of flannel shorts and fuzzy socks out of the bag she brought and devotedly dressed me in them after rubbing my favorite lotion on my arms and legs. They even put on my deodorant and brushed my hair. It was hard being so helpless, but I couldn't imagine being able to do it on my own.

When I was placed back in my hospital bed that had been conveniently stripped of my old sheets, I was exhausted. I looked better, the dried blood and dirt that the sponges hadn't been able to clean were gone and my hair that had looked stringy and greasy looked back to normal and healthy.

Mina gave me a dose of morphine and Momma ordered me some broth from the cafeteria. When the medicine had kicked in and my belly was full, I fell asleep, genuinely exhausted and unable to keep my eyes open.

Noah came four hours later at seven o'clock on the dot. Immediately he walked up to me and kissed my good cheek, exclaiming, "You smell so good! You have no idea how much I missed you." He sat down and we promptly began talking about our day.

He told me how boring school was without me. He said people were so worried about me at school. I knew that was a lie, they were just nosey. He then told me how the coaches were working him extra hard because he was gone for the last game, but he didn't care because he was able to be with me when I needed him.

I told him how the shower went. I informed him how difficult it had been with my various tubes and the pain involved. He got a bit terse and told me I shouldn't have done it without him. I glared at him. Like I'd allow him to be anywhere near me when I was being bathed.

When Noah had to leave, he stood up reluctantly. He'd only been able to stay for a little less than an hour, so he stood in the doorway talking until Mina shut the door on him. That was how most of the week played out. I only got to see him for an hour at most. I understood he had football practice and I wasn't going to complain about it, but I was starting to get very bored.

Detectives came in the middle of the day on a Wednesday. They wanted me to tell them everything about what happened with the twins. I told them, but it wasn't easy. They left and I remained with a tear stained face and a huge headache.

I had begun sitting up more and more and being able to ride in a wheelchair around the hospital room. Mina would take me through the hospital to relieve my boredom. I was healing and felt triumphant with each tube that was allowed to be removed. It was determined I could leave the next week on a Wednesday, with special instructions for the Winters to take care of me. I was more than happy to be leaving the hospital behind me.

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