Life Gets Better, Taryn

Finding Delta's box

9\8\11

Dear Delta,

I finally found the box with all your stuff! I got less time to look for it once school started, but I finally have it! My aunt won't let me open it though. Even though it's a Friday, she wants me to get some sleep. It's been harder to do that. Sleep. I either can't fall asleep, or I'm plagued by nightmares. I guess I'll just have to wait until morning. Sorry this one was short.

Love,

Taryn

March 17, 2011

Dear Taryn,

Hopefully, you will not read this till after my death. But please. Do not mourn my death too long. I want you to be happy! It may be hard, but please try. You've changed me in so many ways, and I cherish you beyond comprehension. I know you will be looking for someone to blame, and the first that comes to mind is me. I should have told you sooner, but I didn't want you to worry. I wanted you to live to the fullest, and you wouldn't have if you had known I was going to die. The second that comes to mind is God. Whatever you do! Do not blame God! Everything happens for a reason,and He always has a good reason. He is fair, and just. Don't hate God. Instead, turn to Him. Pray. Confide in Him. Do not turn away from him. Don't submit to the devil. It is at times of great distress when you need God the most. He loves you dearly. Don't treat Him like my parents treated me. Don't reject Him. He loves you for who you are. He may not have intended us to be lesbian, but there are a lot of things He didn't intend us to be. But you believe His son died on the cross for our sins, right? That includes being lesbian. You are forgiven. Some of His people don't understand that, but that is okay. Remember God loves you. I know it sounds cliche, but that is the best you can do in your grief. Pray, and trust in Him.

Love,

Delta Blu

9\9\11

Dear Delta,

I finally opened the box! I hadn't realized how many places you went. Half the box was filled with souvenirs from all the places you're been. Clothes, cups, pictures, accesories... The other things were stuff that didn't seem to mean anything, but they probably meant something to you. The rest were letters. I didn't realize how much I've missed your handwriting. I think I read the letter I needed most today. I wish I could've read it sooner. It was at the top of the pile of letters. I couldn't finish it without crying a little. How could I blame you for your death? It wasn't your fault. Yes, I wish I had known about your disease sooner. I wish you could've told on February 15. Then we could've been together longer. It wouldn't of been much, but any time with you I would've treasured until my own death. And, I know I shouldn't blame God. It's just... It's hard to forgive Him for taking you away from me. I that's what He was planning, and we're supposed to forgive each other, 'cause he did it for us, and whatever. But I just can't. Maybe later I will, but not right now. I hope He's as patient as they say.

Love,

Taryn